The Badger is Dead. Here comes Shotgun.

I don’t know what to make of this, but you should skim it over and emit a little tiny evil chuckle.  Seems Ol’ Greggy (aka, Shotgun) is taking pro cycling’s grumpy, bitter, who-pissed-in-my-blood-bag role from the long-hailed Badger, aka Bernard Hinault.  This decade, though, the weapons are gavels, not bikes.  That’s weak sauce, I know, but here on the new and litigiously interesting DrunkCyclist, that’s how the gloves come off.


Part awesome, part who cares, and part Real Housewives of ProCycling, let’s let the bitching continue full-throttle.  Time to rip the sleeves off of my Team Z jersey and stand in front of a courthouse with a 40oz and some posterboard.  I’d kill to see Greg behind a hot mug of spiked cider bitching and shitting lightning bolts on the spring classics.  He’ll have to do something to fund this little wrasslin’ match.   I just love that there’s a little hate cloud looming over Trek bikes, however I do hope that as per the USA’s example, the cost of these epic court battles are not reflected in the cost of next year’s ever-victorious campus special, the Trek 820.

Fuck a weekend.  Get bent.

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About Snake Hawk

good, bad, funny, sad, stupid, rad, has, had. non-joining funhaver from coast to coast(er brake). buster of the chops, drawer of the logos. North Carolina, USA

24 thoughts on “The Badger is Dead. Here comes Shotgun.

  1. Bending will commence shortly. First up, I need to figure out what spokes I need for my SS29’er wheelset.

    Fuckit. I’ll figure it out if (when) the missus buys me a truing stand for baby jebus’ birfday.

  2. Shotgun is gonna lose this one. All this shit started cuz he couldn’t stand to see Armstrong win. All Greggy had to do was wave from the backseat of the Trek convertible as it drove by and collect a big fat check. But nooo.

  3. Yer saying gregory just had to sell out? Hmm. Dude’s on a moral tangent against doping. Whatev. I simply appreciate the infotainment value of a wingnut like that who can fly his own colours.

  4. Part of me feels sorry for the greatest American cyclist in modern history . . . yet part of me thinks he should have left it all behind and left the sport entirely. . . joined WWE or ‘Dancing with the Stars” or spent more time around the house or hitting golf balls . . . nothing is as sad a one-time cycling legend that just can’t see to leave the biker world behind (see Bernard Hinault slappin’ riders on the ass on the TdF podium).

    I spent a little time riding on the back of trains in France, bumming cheap bottles of wine and searching for my next Kronenbourg 1664 and the thing is, the Frenchy’s to this day believe he is the last rider to win the TdF without the aid of some super drugs. And the problem just may be, they have it firmly placed in Greg’s head that its true.

  5. I loved this from the comments: “This comment “Regardless of the outcome neither party would really walk away from a trial as the winner” brings a tear to MY eye coming as it does from an attorney. I love the subtle distinction between “neither party” and “nobody.”

    Pretty much sums up the lawyerin’ profession. Greg is an idiot, you don’t bite the hand that feeds. If you wanna be some sort of anti-doping icon, then don’t get into bed with Trek then trash talk their golden boy. Duh.

    PS— I’ll get about thirty miles on my LeMond Poprad today. Stay warm out there.

    PPS— check out this link too, brilliant:

  6. mikey

    i hear ya on Greg. But he signed with Trek way before Lance.

    I agree with Gnome. Huge entertainment value here. And I think Greg is right (esp as regards to throwing SRM’s on all the rider’s bikes and monitoring their power output; anyone with a big spike is out or a jump in VO2 is out) tho’ he goes about in a crazy way that makes everyone think he is jealous, which he probably is. the dude does have some fucking demons, tho.

    What is really highly amusing, tho, is hearing Armstrong chamois sniffer bitching about LeMond.

  7. I was there on the front line. He started bitchin’ about Lance (rightly or no), and suddenly no one wanted to buy his bikes anymore. Shops couldn’t give em away.

  8. I’m no Lance-o-phile, just stating the facts. No one asked him to “sell out”(what a laugh). Going after doping in cycling is like barking at the fucking moon. And in his case it reeks of sour grapes. Now he is a leper, a broke leper. Hope it was worth it, GL!

  9. Sorry snake. I, frenchy guy, will anyway support the shotgun against the lycra dressed cowboy cause he definitly killed the Tour. The Tour’s spirit my grand father was a fan of, in the 50’s. The one that intected me virus of cycling.

    Trek bike just served his ego during all these dark years, and broked Hincapie’s clacicle on Paris-Roubaix 2006.

    Last. Theese are badgers pictures!

  10. Cher Pépin,
    That’s total bullshit. It would take a typical French idiot to support some crybaby, jealous, has-been who did in fact whip Fignon’s sorry butt by 8 seconds by the way…France gave us the TdF but since Hinault there has been no rider capable of doing anything, anywhere. Face it, cycling is a new world thing, with Australians and Americans taking over. Until you have a French rider worth a damn, let me remind you that France HATES winners and assumes that ALL winners are cheaters…AND THAT, in fact, your enemy Lance Armstrong has NEVER, EVER been fined, convicted, sanctioned, caught, disciplined or disqualified for cheating or doping in all his career of cycling.

    Put that in your French pipe and smoke it!

  11. Ol’ Greggy or Shotgun, can’t tell which is making me choke with laughter more.

    The ill effects of ego, plastered all over this sordid tale. Ah heroes; don’t they all fall?

    Jordan (probably) lost his dad to a bad gambling debt. Enke, the German goalie, threw himself under a train. Darrell Strawberry rode a different rail outa town. Woods is tumbling now. LeMond jousts windmills of his own making.
    Like fans in all sports, we see the armor of our icons crack. The pressure of success makes men do many things, not all of them victories.

  12. At first, all I can think about when I look at that photo is “happy little marbles” and how he seems to have lost all his. Then, m, you say Leslie Nielson? I see a national lampoon comedy in the making.

    Man, what a clown Lemond has reduced himself to. Simply a sad fall for the nut.

  13. i love the french bickery. that shit rules. shotgun’s a grump, lance is a self-eggrandizing pricksniffer. what matters here is the drama. it’s what we show up for. i’d like to also add how bitching it is to see the bad guy from Stallone Cobra in the background of that picture.

  14. Yeah, yeah, yeah, spit out all that bullshit about how the French hate winners…funny how we hate them for losing WW2 but we love the Germans who started it?? The French LOVE Lance.. I’ve been in bars in France when Lance won, and EVERYONE cheered! Lance has TONS of fans in France. All this Lance hating bullshit sells stuff, papers and shit- BUT- the fact remains- Lance is SUPER popular in France. However- Bernard Hinault is a world-class jerk who has never given any rider since himself any credit.

  15. say what you will, but lemond is the only voice that cuts through all the b.s. about testing… and his questions remain unanswered — if riders are clean why not publish power numbers in jan. and again in july? by voicing himself (and not initially attacking – just answering questions candidly) lemond exposed his personal and business life to an onslaught. and for what gain? ego? sour grapes? ask yourselves that question and look back at lemonds genuine enthusiasm for other winners and for the sport itself.

  16. I don’t feel entitled to insult you, Gérard, cause you’re just a kid.
    A child who loves stories with heroes.
    Your real world is made of storytellers and magicians.
    I pity you for being so scared in the dark.
    Stay in your dream.

  17. Dear sad losers (Doug and Pépin)

    We could have afforded you the benefit of doubt and assume you were not cretins, but you chose to erase all doubt and open your pie holes and spew inaccurate, meaningless dribble. Fine, it is a conscious choice to public make a fool of one’s self.

    Doug, in France, Lance is a lying, cheating, arrogant horse’s rear end for 99.99% of all French people. There is no debate here. If you were hanging in an American bar in France, yes, perhaps you may have encountered someone cheering for him.

    Pépin, in your place, I would not attempt to become a poet. You’d fail miserably.

    Now people, get your heads out of year rear end and see things clearly. enough of your misinformed nonsense!


  18. David, take a trip to France. Only sad losers stay here and wallow in their misconceptions. The cheering for Lance was NOT in an American bar.
    I repeat- Lance has LOTS of fans in France, Trek sells lots of bikes to Lance wannabees- just like here. In France I got sick of the French defending him against me, because I think he’s a lifetime cheater. In fact, most French cycling fans believe as we do; maybe he cheated but so did the rest and he beat then anyway, so there. Pépin, he’s right- laisse tomber the poetry. And David, repeating a falsehood doesn’t make it true- for you or George Bush.