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That tooth was rotting in my mouth for so long and I hung on to it. I finally paid to have it removed, through pain and stress. Now, that space in my jaw is healing, and my life is more joyous.
I cannot believe the difference it is. My cravings for alcohol are diminished considerably. I have better sleep. There is a slight difference in how I pronounce my words (and I like the way I sound) It was a birth, of sorts.
I’m coming to the realization that I live in a shit hole. I gotta get out of it and soon. I am alone, in every sense of the word, but i see on the horizon new friends coming my way. I need to be healthy and love myself, be sober, and open to happiness.
I’m telling the people who call me a friend that are drains on my existence that I don’t want to hang out with them. These are the two older men who are drunkards, who have started buzzing around me. I want them out, just like the rotting tooth. I’d rather be alone, with my little dog friend. And I’d rather be sober, too.
I noticed this after this guy who had worked his whole life in construction, and had skills, help me fuck up my bike frame but then when sober 11 year old Skyler helped me, I got it right. Hmmm… alcohol is the ruination of greatness. An unskilled child was more help than a 48 year old Craftsman, who was drunk.
It dawned on me how we delude ourselves into addiction – and how that addiction then mocks us. Since this tooth has come out, this, the largest tooth in my mouth, through an agonizing birthing process, I have found an old me under that, someone who is better.
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Amen to that… Trying to get myself away from drinking right now. Damn girls, not being able to get a job with the degree I just received, along with the financial struggles of being a recently graduated person in a mountain load of student loan debt puts the hurt on ya. I have drinking, riding my ass off and working on bikes all day just about every day to help cope. Seems the riding and working on bikes isn’t enough. The drinking fills in and I go overboard. Not so good. Fuck… Anyway, props to you dude.
There are people on the other side of the world who support you and acknowledge your courage. It takes guts to do what you’re doing.
I’ve been there, hell, I’m right there now. As fun as it is, there is a time to severely curtail one’s intake of the blessed alcohol. While I have taken a month off from drinking at least once a year for the last five years, it’s still amazing how much money I hemorrhage through my liver when I’m on it. More power to you for sure. However, I leave with this: “Everything in moderation. Even moderation.” Keep the rubber side down and stay between the ditches.
Holy shit.
Minus the tooth deal you just described my life in detail.
Freaky.
Good luck to ya.
The sauce, like all things in life, can cross the line from fun to drudgery. And it turns quickly. So quick, in fact, that you find yourself sitting at a table in Vegas at four in the morning pushing that last beer away saying I am done. Just. Like. That.
Good on ya, it takes a big man to say it as you have.
Drudgery? Fuck, Jonny, you don’t know dick. You’re fixin’ to be a high dollar attorney. I’m an electrician and I’m lucky to have that. You have two little ‘uns that think their daddy is the bees’ knees. I’ve got a 19 year old I’m putting through college that thinks I’m an idiot. Fuck her; if she thinks it’s so easy she can break her ass awhile and I’ll sit here and put up some smartmouth. Did I mention my wife, who doesn’t work, always takes the kid’s side? Fuck, I’d leave, but The Man (whom you will work with hand in glove when you become the rock star you are studying to be) would find me and bleed me dry. Much cheaper just to stay here and be bled dry by those who, at least, are family.
How old R U?
Define “in age”.
Older’n dirt. But I bet I’ll still piss on many a grave.
A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5, and ends giving $5 worth for $500.
-Benjamin H. Brewster
In BJ’s defense, in the beginning….after that, he’s on his own.
Hopefully you were drunk when you put on that camo coat…buzzkill.
…being aware & going for what you actually “need” in life, as opposed to just going for what you “want” is a sign of real maturity, especially when you know you gotta give up a lifestyle…so props…
…big jonny’s doing it w/ his family in mind, so props again…
…keeping it simple & just sayin’…
littlejar,
I myself, am a 40+, aging craftsman who has had things ruined many times by excessive consumption of the sauce. Currently turning things around, happy to say, and finding true happiness. I don’t know where you are in life but you are realizing something many don’t. Kudos…
It’s different for everyone. I have close friends who can wake’n’bake everyday, drink a handle a week, and continue to be creative, productive, members of society. I can’t. Some days I am jealous…
Don’t give Johnny shit dave, he’s got it right.
kevin— word.
Easy on Big J, dave – not all lowyers are hi-dolla. Those that choose to be great agents of good often work for free. The costs involved in maintaining a law practice are huge these days. Few dare not carry malpractice insurance, which, like in medicine, is through the fucking roof. That’s a starter. A good lawyer will choose justice over wealth. A shit fuck lawyer will work patent infringement on behalf of Monsanto for $500 an hour. Judge not unless you know how that shit works. I know a lawyer who charges $200 an hour from paying clients and he volunteers; front-running a free legal clinic for people who have NO money. He wears pants that aren’t as fancy as mine, and I’m a damn student…
Not a law student, a paralegal student. We are the folks who write the documents. Lawyers are the ones that sign them.
“It is a truly wealthy man that works to achieve tears of joy in the eyes of a client, and walks away with no check in his pocket.”
This should be the benchmark of success for a lawyer on the side of good.
We’re grooming Big Jonny for this, cause his heart is in the RIGHT place.
Dang; I don’t check out your blog for a few years and the tits/ass is gone along with the sauce. Good on you, man. Your words about going dry could have come out of my mouth over the last 6 weeks. I started hitting it hard a few years ago after grad school when I was burnt out and dealing with a cancer wife. Though I certainly wasn’t shy about getting tanked throughout my 20’s, north of 35, I was going downhill fast. Everything sucked. I even stopped turning the pedals. I went cold turkey after finally finding clarity during 1500 miles on my moto. I haven’t felt this great since I was a sober high schooler. My passion, creativity, and humor are back. My wife, now fully in remission, and I are starting our first attempt at breeding next spring: that alone is a perfect reason to retire the liver abuse thing. It’s being born-again without all the holy geebus mumbojumbo. Major fistbump, Jonny.
I started again in the spring. At least i haven’t been driving home -just walking home. I’ve broken 3 ribs and sustained a mild concussion when attacked by some robots. There is one thing i’ve learned during this 5 decade-long love-hate, on again-off again relationship with alcohol: there is nothing that gets you a good stare into the abyss than 6 pints of stout, followed by a red bull and jagermeister.
14 months living in Port Jervis, NY and I finally realized waking up in this town without a hangover is even worse then waking up with one. Day 6 and I actually rode my bike around the block today. 1st ride in almost 2 years. Felt like I was living again.
Time to move from this here shit-hole.
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