I used to work with this guy back in the day. Loony as a bird. But once in a while something would come out of his mouth that was pure genius. One day he tells me “Don’t stop till the blood on your sword is the blood of the king”. The way that I interpreted this was dont ever stop fighting till you own the place.
How about you? What have you heard that stuck with you?
Snake
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Ain’t nothing that can’t be solved with a little conversation and lubrication.
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Yeah: “Where are the White Women at…?!?”
Cleavon Little, 1974.
Godspeed, brother.
Thanks,
Burt
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:17 pm
“If your going through hell , keep going ”
Winston Churchill
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:20 pm
In response to a question (the specifics of which I’ve long forgotton), my chemistry teacher, who was a member of a Nobel prize winning chemistry team, replied: “Yes…but probably not.”. I’ve since come to understand this explains almost everything in life.
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:24 pm
“less talkie. More doie.”
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:30 pm
“is there any beer in this pit, and when do I get paid?”
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:38 pm
FUCK YOU PAY ME
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:55 pm
“You almost always never seem to get the things you least expect the most”
“I may be going to hell in a bucket, but at least i’m enjoying the ride”.
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
“You can’t live your life walking on broken glass. Sometimes you have to be the one who breaks the glass.”
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Words to a song by perhaps the best Cheese metal of all time….Manowar…blood of the kings
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:13 pm
“Shit fire, save matches”
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
“better eat that banana from the side boy.”
at my first construction laborer job i worked w/ this leather skinned pissed off ex armed forces guy who cracked me up with every swing of the hammer. i think that’s when i learned out to squirl hunt w/ a nail gun.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:41 pm
When in doubt, use a bigger hammer…
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:45 pm
“Efficiency is the minimization of excess movement.” -C Gray. Told to me while hanging in trees working for the city of Missoula.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
If you going to be dumb, you better be tough.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I’ve had several coworkers that had the same description and talent. I guess that goes with working in bike shops. A couple of my favorites…
“There is nothing erotic about corporate fascism”
“They thought it was cooler than Jesus on roller skates.”
And of course, wisdom from Spam email…
“Update your penis.”
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:28 pm
“That aint no crow. That’s a soul chicken”.
Ex co-worker in response to me pointing out a crow sitting on top of a pole.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 pm
“That dog won’t hunt.” My uncle Doug.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 pm
This is from someone I don’t personally know, and I’m sure most of you have heard it already. Regardless, I’ve been trying to live by it for several years.
From Ace of Spades (Motorhead): “You win some, you lose some, it’s all the same to me.”
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
grandfather once told me that:
“there are some women in this world you should only know by the back of their head”
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
“The best of men choose one thing in preference to all else, immortal glory in preference to mortal goods; Whereas the masses simply glut themselves like cattle”.
-Heraclitus
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 am
If you have time to chatter. Read books. If you have time to read. Walk into the mountains, desert, and ocean. If you have time to walk. Sing songs and dance. If you have time to dance. Sit quietly, you happy lucky idiot. – Nanao Sakaki
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:06 am
“I feel a whole lot more like I do now than I did a while ago”
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:08 am
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” -George Carlin
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:20 am
“fuck with em” from fellow assembly line worker in late 70s.
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:07 am
“This things as useless as my sister’s tits!” my Uncle Tom, a former NYC cop
Also “Balls on toast!”
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:35 am
“Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.” Can’t remember who or when.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:04 am
An old man I was sitting next to on a park bench told me, “A woman has a piehole, a sh*thole and a f*ckhole. The smart man will make all three a f*ckhole.”
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:08 am
No man is an island, but when you piss u-r-ination.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:30 am
http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:51 am
yeah sessa!
“Don’t listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son.”
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:20 am
“If you’re gonna kick authority in the teeth, use both feet.” – Keith Richards
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:23 am
“… did you try forcing it?”
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:29 am
“If can’t be handsome, you better be handy.”
” wish in one hand , shit in the other and see witch one fill up first”
“that dog won’t hunt”. ( use to refer to anything that doesn’t work.
“working hard or hardly working?”
All heard from old people in Kansas.
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:32 am
“More than a mouthful is a waste”
-My grandfather on breast.
“There’s only one thing worse than cold coffee….cold pussy.”
-Ex’s dad while I was in high school
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:09 am
A piece of ass and a whiskey glass will make a horses-ass of me.
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:11 am
A favorite from college muttered after at least 16 beers by Troii “Remember….a friend is a friend, but sometimes they aren’t”. Shortly thereafter he passed out and bailed out of a lawnchair. Goodtimes………..
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:30 am
“Whoa! That pigs gonna need a lot of lipstick”
“The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.” Mark Twain
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:32 am
“That dog is worth the cost of the bullet”
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:39 am
“Lead follow or get out of my way”
This one is from the 80′s when I worked in a bike shop. Anytime we could not get something to go together we would say.
“Put a hair and some lube on it”
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
You are nothing more than a skid mark in the underwear of life
Mine
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:02 am
“Everything that elevates an individual above the herd and intimidates the neighbor, is henceforth called evil.” Friedrich Nietzsche
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:23 am
“Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”
“If not us, who?
If not now, when?”
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:54 am
“You are a man, the world is your bathroom.” – mine
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:13 am
“There are women hotter than you fucking dogs on the Internet right now.”
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:22 am
Best pieces of knowledge (that i can currently recall) gleaned from working in a bike shop:
(in response to a customer with a flat tire) “I don’t see what the big deal is, it’s only flat on the bottom.”
“if you love it, lube it.”
and the winner: “Rings don’t plug holes”
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:28 am
In life there are going to be things you don’t want to do but have to. So just do them. – My Mom
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am
“Nothing is ever brought out on to the stage without a purpose.”
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:43 am
“‘s hot coffee in the car” -buck
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:18 am
“that ditch aint going to dig itself”
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:28 am
For all the drama and BS that gets thrown at people; it is a motivator or an excuse, you decide.
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:34 am
It’s all fun and games until yer roomate goes hoggin’ and breaks a leg off the couch. – anyone at 1429 Roberts Road (across from the Fratersons) circa 2000′s
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
“cogito ergo sum”
“I think therefor I am”
- Rene Descartes
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
You can’t argue with crazy…
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:34 pm
From “The Shawshank Redemption”: Get busy living or get busy dying.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:50 pm
A true man will always face the music, even when he doesn’t like the tune.
-Unknown
Be the change you want to see in the world.
-Ghandi
Drink more, eat less.
-Personal Motto
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
“Digging up an old turd is only gonna make it stink again.”
from my older next door neighbor.
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Don’t reinvent the wheel; just ROLL the motherfucker!
Yee-haw.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:58 pm
“If we can’t sit at the table of Democracy, then we’ll knock the fucking legs off.” James Forman
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Keep bobbin’ on the knobin’
Pete Shaw
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:03 pm
“I’ve been married a long time, but it only seems like 5 minutes…………underwater.”
Unknown old man who’d been married for 65 years.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:16 pm
” you can pull a freight train with a pussy hair ” Unknown victim………
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:18 pm
“A cross bike is like the taint of a woman. Its right in between two good things, but you can’t do anything with it.” — retired bike shop owner
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.
Size is not grandeur, and territory does not make a nation.
Thomas Huxley
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:49 pm
“shit the bed again”
“quit blowing smoke up my ass”
“well fuck me running”
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:34 pm
somtimes, the customer is always right – Ray Florman owner A-1 bicycles St. louis MO
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:39 pm
“Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking” – Who knows and me.
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy” – Ben Franklin
“You’re the product of a clown-car fuck” – my dad to me and my brother at various times in our lives.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Res firma mitescere nescit. (Latin)
Once you’ve got it up, keep it up.
-From the movie American Flyers
November 4th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
If the shit fits, wear it…..
and….from the greatest movie of all time, ‘Withnail and I’,
‘We want cake, and we want the finest wines known to humanity, and we want them here and we want them NOW…’
November 4th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
“You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a _______” fill in the blank with whatever asshatery is currently pissing you off
November 4th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
who you calling crazy?
November 5th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Livin’ in fear is just another way of dyin’ before your time. – DBT
November 5th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
One from a cyclist:
Life is too short for any man
to hold bitterness in his heart
-Marshall “Major” Taylor
November 6th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
From a brilliant young lady desrcribing her current hangover:
“I feel like a bag of smashed kittens”
The mental picture speaks a thousand words….