A clear and convincing display of marginal adequacy

Ah shit, it’s the weekend. I got nothing to show for it. I’ll be putting in the hours (again) down at the library. That’s pretty much where I live now. At one time, it was the saddle. Not it’s the cubicle. The constant between both? A clear and convincing display of marginal adequacy. Hey, I’m a mid-pack kinda guy. I’m here for the laughs. And the cheeseburgers.

What’d ya mean there isn’t any cheeseburgers?

It’s crazy how you can go from being Joe Blow
To everybody on your dick, no homo
I bought my whole family whips, no Volvos
Next time I’m in church, please no photos
Police escorts
Everybody passports
This the life that everybody ask for
This a fast life
We are on a crash course
What you think I rap for
To push a fucking Rav 4?
But I know that if I stay stun-ting
All these girls only gonna want one thing
I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon’ come is as good when I’m cumming
She got a ass that’ll swallow up a g-string
…Kanye West.

Kanye West may well be a jackass. But I pretty much don’t care.

The SSCXWC Portland cometh. Hide your sheep. Dude’s so zooted he’s rocking goggles on the regular. Space cadet style, son. Space Man Spiff. Ensemble from the soon to be released “Welcome to Hooter’s” collection. Available at finer retailers and Kona dealers this fall. Mention that one at the Kona booth and get stared as sideways. We’re here to make friends.


You have been warned.

From: Dude
Subject: Naked Bike ride in Philly From DC…
Dude, I remember from back in the day that your roots are in Philly. So hope to tell cycling’s devolved a bit since you were here: philly.com/philly/photos/The_Philly_Naked_Bike_Rid

I wish I could say I was there, but had to be out of town that day. Also dude, if you ever visit Philly again hit up Devils Den (devilsdenphilly.com) as Monks is closed for a long while as some poor dude died when the building had a little defect.

All your bikes are belong to us,

Tight, son.

Link dump:
Ouch: youtube.com
What price a life? business.timesonline.co.uk
Why we don’t heckle the president: cnn.com
Where were you when the Death Star fell? collegehumor.com/video

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

10 thoughts on “A clear and convincing display of marginal adequacy

  1. In a perfect world the officials will run the last ten seconds off the clock marking his 15 minutes of fame.

  2. big kithen, please don’t bore us with people who don’t know how to ax. Everyone knows to use (an) before a word starting with a vowel.

  3. Husky, I seriously doubt Mr. West’s target audience consists of those who appreciate the work of, say, Leonard Cohen.

  4. Clearly… people from Philly should stay dressed. That was a horror show. How about next time unless it’s a naked bike ride in Miami or LA you don’t post it?

  5. It’s the cheese steaks, Grump. That’s my theory. Ever had a good one? It’s almost worth looking that way. Easy, I said almost.