All you Flagstiffs will be pleased to know that my hometown, the concrete clusterplex of Bibleburg, Colorado, sprawls like a fat late-term-abortion baby atop Outside magazine’s list of “America’s Best Cities.”
What lesson should we learn from this? Primarily, that if you’re into good weed, you should move not to Bibleburg, but to Santa Fe, where Outside is headquartered. ‘Cause those dudes must be smokin’ the good shit to be writing this shit.
Here in Bibleburg we can only hope that this brings us platoons, nay, battalions, of youthful, adventure-seeking body Nazis who otherwise would have moved to Flagstiff, Portland, Moab, Salida or Boulder. We can’t afford to feed the lions at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo and could do with a little organic long pig.
July 29th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Lotta good ditches to skate.. I gotta give the Springs that.
July 29th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
10. Charlotte, North Carolina
9. Cincinnati, Ohio
8. Minneapolis, Minnesota
7. Portland, Oregon
6. Albuquerque, New Mexico
5. Boston, Massachusetts
4. Austin, Texas
3. Atlanta, Georgia
2. Seattle, Washington
1. Colorado Springs, Colorado
If these are the best cities in America, then I think it might be time to move to Detroit, and make it good. These are the best places to live only if you are rich, young, white, and have a roof rack for your kayak.
FUCK YOU, OUTSIDE magazine, you fucks.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:09 am
For some unknown reason I did not see Fresno on the Outside list. Good thing I’m moving to Santa Fe in the next couple of months. Bring on the j’s, the mtbing from town, the afternoon thunderstorms, and an escape from this wretched, polluted, relentless heat.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Tons of great mountain bike trails in the Springs. KILO used to be pretty rocking too.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:04 am
How the hell did Charlotte make it on this list? I live here (actually in Gastonia) and WTF? There’s got to be lots better places.
July 30th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Housing has got to be cheap in Cincy… and you’re mere miles from the Bourbon Trail… but no thanks.
July 30th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I live in Atlanta and I like a lot of things about the area within metro ATL that I live in (and there are quite a few things I dislike), but I’m honestly shocked to see Atlanta anywhere near the top of this list. I’ll admit that I haven’t read the article (yet), so perhaps there is some very strange criteria that ruled out several other cities that I would have put way above ATL.
July 30th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I’m content that Flagstiff has no river. If it did, dam bra.
July 31st, 2009 at 9:03 am
They forgot Bakersfield. Glad Flag was spared.