Twenty four ounce cans

Got out on a bit of a bike ride last night. Had offers to join up with two different groups. One involved driving south. The other involved riding my bike less than a mile from my house to meet some guys rolling up this way. Guess which one I went with? That’s right, the one that came within a mile of my house.

Met up under a highway overpass and my man Gordon immediately handed me a 24 ounce Modelo. Cold beer? Out here? Under a bridge? Fantastic. I like this ride so far. I passed around a flask. Then we got to the riding part. They were all on cross bikes, two geared & one fixed with a 42 x 15 or something really, really tall. Me? Single speed mountain bike. Ever seen those shirts that say “spin your tits off”? Well, that was me.

I did what I could to keep up. And then they’d slow down. Good times.

In case you’re wondering, it is not all about the bike. Yeah right.

From: Chris D.
Kill Dogs get 23 months. Vick.
Kill Dude driving Drunk 30 days. Stallworth.
Steal Lance Armstrong’s bike gets 3 fucking years?

Our legal system is a disgrace

Yeah. That is a little screwed up. No idea.

Anyway, a couple of things to file in your upcoming events calender coming at ya. This first one fires off on June 28th.

From: John F.
howdy yous guys. i know it is shart notice, but would you be so kind to notify any and all not wanting to suck that they should converge this weekend? flyer pretty much says it all. thanks in advance.

also, there will be no fixie freestyling at the event.

stay black.


Next up:

From: Mike A.
Hey Jonny,
Think you might be persuaded to stick my race flyer up on your venerable site—for the love of the sport at least or maybe to make amends for the comment you made about me years ago about being a chamois scrubber? I miss two things about los estados chingados: mexican food and cyclocross. So, I’ll encourage the latter to spawn in NZ. I’m a lousy cook anyhow.

Cyclocross race

Viva la verdad.
Mike Anderson

There you go, two good reasons to have fun on a bike.

Remember folks, muffin tops are for breakfast.


Or, so they tell me.

Link dump:
Michael Jackson dead at 50:
Louder to defend Utah title:
Good for her:
No more Shaq in Phoenix:
Jeff Goldblum not dead (potential dead pool trifecta invalid):

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

11 thoughts on “Twenty four ounce cans

  1. Well said, Gordon. You are a man with a can and a plan. I should have said only one potential dead pool trifecta is out with the untimely survival of Jeff Goldblum.

  2. That Binder Lake SS race looks extremely well-organized.

    Out to ride. Keep the rubber side down.

  3. Speaking of do dads….Michael Jackson’s face timeline…holy shit. Guy was a fucking pin cushion. If that shit is happeing on the outside, no telling what is going on inside. Ought to throw his old man in jail for that shit alone…

  4. “our legal system is a disgrace”

    Our legal system is designed to protect property and property owners above all else.

  5. …uhhh, dave…if you’ll notice, the cyclo-cross poster is for a race in new zealand…rather than trying to explain how the phenomena works wherein their seasons are the “polar opposite” of ours because they’re in the southern hemisphere, just think of ‘bizarro world’ from superman comics, dave…got it now ???…cool…i wanted to use a frame of reference you’d understand & that’s right, everything seems bizarro…

    …that being said, cyclo-cross bikes are under no government regulations or even etiquette restrictions ,dave…you can ride one any time of the year w/ the only repercussion being a whole lotta fun gets had…i do it, i’ve heard mikey does it & plenty of other people do it…to really get bizarro about it, occasionally some “out of the box” funsters here in america actually do hold a summertime cross race…why, you ask ???…i hope you can handle this but, “just to be different” !!!…

    …just sayin’…

  6. bgw, I must have missed the part about it being in N.Z. Yes, I am familiar with the phenomenon of which you speak. Hell, in my career as a land surveyor I performed geodetic calculations that I’ll wager would have you searching out an adult for help. Not that I could do them today. I’ll bet it’s been fifteen years and those skills atrophy pretty quickly. Kinda cool that “dahn unner” they celebrate Chrismas by going to the beach. I could get used to that. Ken oath I could, mate. Fair dinkum.

    And don’t get all preachy with me about the appropriate time to ride a cross bike. Especially that “government regulation” horseshit. I’m a conservative, or had you forgotten? Government regulators can all go hang themselves and I’d probably throw a party.

    And anyway, the bike I almost always ride happens to be a Surly Crosscheck. Four different builds I’ve had on that frame and it’s never done me wrong. Currently fixed gear with rack, fenders, one old Shimano canti upfront and a flatbar with an old Dirty Harry lever that happened to by lying around. Why? To be different, duh.

  7. Guilty as charged; been on the ‘cross bike each of the last three days, piling up about 100 miles in the process. The thing is heavy and the knobbies are dog-slow on asphalt but she eats up the miles out on the scenic rail trails and green belts of Pugetropolis.