open thread

There are times where I am floating along with everything, understanding and comprehending. Then there are times when I am but a rock in the stream and the water cascades over and around me and I have no idea what is happening… Life is like that sometimes.

Got this one via email from my wife earlier today.

The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS
SAFER
SAFEST
ULTRA SAFE

What’s for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?
You sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here’s my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
I’ve always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one:
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh… and men who need a warning.

And, have some wine.

Awesome. I’m doomed. Would you like some wine, sweetheart?

0615091455

See, I’ve been stocking up. Like I learned long ago in the Boy Scouts: Be Prepared!

I went out for a road ride yesterday morning up around Cave Creek. Took me two and a half hours. Went out, again, today on the road bike. Went around Mummy Mountain. Took me two and a half hours.

First back to back days of riding in a long, long time. Maybe since last summer. Certainly since January.

I’ve got to rectify that in the future. Can’t let the commonplace remain common. It just ain’t good cricket.

Link dump
Guide to tattoo locations. cracked.com
How can I tell if my son is gay? img190.imageshack.us
Fox News is “an alternate reality”: nypost.com
Tour top ten odds: unibet.com
Flagstaff trail map: singletrack.us
Greg Herbold cut the course? site.hbcutthecoursein1990.com

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

12 thoughts on “open thread

  1. had a similar thought sitting on a rock w/ a pbr in the middle of fossil creek yesterday. that’s a mighty thirsty pic there j.

  2. boo! that dale wiggin’s trail map is a TURD! non-local renames several key trails and you give him a link-boost?!? take it back big jon, make it go away.

  3. …sheesh…i’ve never met gnomer but even i know he’s dave herbold…

    …my question is, “are you two related, gnomer ???”

  4. …oh, n’ btw, juan grande…

    …thank the “little woman” (whoa…did i just say that ???) for that valuable info…

    …i’m off to buy some wine…

  5. +1 for Coppala wine. I have a high school friend that’s one of the head winemakers there…got a behind-the-scenes tour and got to stay in Francis Ford’s guest house for free when we hit Napa a couple years ago. Wine makes me smile like an idiot. Wine makes the wife horny. Wine makes me smile, again, like an idiot. I got to go buy me some wine.

  6. How come they call pms, pms?
    ‘Cause mad cow disease was already being used.
    Bitches!

  7. I think you’ll find several of them on this site… Including the dude who started the whole thing… Probably not Dave though. Just guessing..