Monday is the new Happy Friday

I may not know much, but I know talent when I see it. And this is talent with a capital “T”.

I may have already linked that vid in a link dump a while back. Whatever. Worth doing again.

Just like this shit: dancefloordale.com. Every time I hear that song (and hells yeah I rock that shit) I think of the Husky Midget. He was voted most likely to fuck up Christmas 2005, 2006, 2007, and 2008. Kid is off the hook. And he will fuck up your Christmas.

And will you check my man’s sweater in that video one time? Lucky number slevin or some shit. Man, the 80′s are back! You want dance moves? Man man’s got ‘em by the dozen!

Random Art Link: markraymondmason.com

From: Response
Holy Sheep Shit,
It rains like it means it here in Dongguan. I got caught in a fucking unreal downpour mid coffee shop run. As I’ve mentioned before, the people here seem to have a 6th sense about when its gonna rain, they scatter like ants a few moments before the 1st drop hits. The barometer on my watch constantly fluctuates so wildly, it looks more like a seismograph during an earthquake. I didn’t really think much about the rain till I did a mental inventory of my pockets and realized that my shorts contained a cell phone, a PDA, my passport and a stack of translated documents, directions and business cards. I threw a leg on it and found that I had rapidly diminishing traction. The streets had melted and transformed from dusty trashy and gritty into a slick, grimy sheen that refused to let my tires bite well. I am running 26 x 1.5′s with a cheap street tread. Maybe a fixy would have helped me about now.

Anyhow, I made a fast right turn and found myself going head on with a 3 wheel taxi who was going the wrong way (outlaw taxi driving is common here). Fortunately, I didn’t have enough traction to connect with the taxi, instead I slid wide into oncoming traffic. I panicked and over corrected toward the sidewalk, slipped and lost it then ditched into a deep puddle. I stood and limped quickly back to the curb. I spit out a mouth full of gray street muck and checked for injuries. Well, I was completely drenched beyond that I seemed okay. I didn’t bother to check my pockets contents, they were fucked no doubt. I was a bit worried about having ingested the contents of a Chinese gutter, however, the flavor was mild, sweet, greasy and not surprisingly, a little gritty.

On the sidewalk, I stood over my front wheel and straightened my handle bars. I felt a cool breeze on my balls. I looked down and discovered that my thin tropical shorts had been split from stem to stern. Through the large tear in the fabric, I could see a big angry red mark was swelling high on the inside of my thigh where my top tube had hit my leg. I didn’t have on undies or a rash guard as it is consistently too hot, so this was going to be awkward. Simply being a big white guy is unusual in these parts. Being a big white guy with your above average size junk flopping around on your bike is a show stopper.

I made it back home with not too much trouble. The contents of my pockets are spread out on the floor and my electronics are disassembled to dry. I have an ice cold 600 ml Tsingtao beer resting between my legs to comfort some abused flesh. Life is good. I was originally going to write about how cool public breast feeding is here in China. It’s everywhere and it’s GOOD. Nothing beats seeing some titty from a smiling young mom while you read the news and sip coffee. Its all casual like and the kids are getting bigger stronger and healthier here (yes I see plenty of 6 foot teenage boys and girls here). I think that people that are ANTI-breast feeding should be slowly beaten to death with a fresh canister of Captain Nestlé’s best iron enriched Baby malnutrition powder while they are being forced to watch PTL.

That’s just how I feel…

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

2 thoughts on “Monday is the new Happy Friday

  1. damn. the pole dancing reminds me of cirque du soleil. those ladies are amazing. maybe I can get the wife to go to the strip club now… she likes the circus.

  2. Hell yeah, that is some good talent. Gotta go reserve front row tickets to the 2010 show… :)