Right Wing Mythbusters

This one came in via our man on the street, Vance P. You can thank him later. It’s not exactly the most current thing happening around these parts, but it’s about the only thing that actually typed up at the moment.

It’s not terribly hot out today, wouldn’t be a bad day for a ride. But I’ll probably just take a nap instead. Seems like it’d do me more good at the moment. I’d hate to lose weight or get, you know, tired and stuff. Fat, drunk and stupid is the only way to go through life, son.

Right Wing Mythbusters
Posted by Milt Shook, March 02, 2009

How in the HELL did so many incredibly stupid people get to be in such a position of power in this country? I’d really like to know.

More importantly, why do so many people not only VOTE against their own personal interests, and the interests of their neighbors, but also advocate for positions that apparently run counter to their stated belief system. And why are people whose lives are obviously more messed up than those whom they are lecturing, constantly hawk their self-righteous bullshit to the rest of us with regard to ethics and morals? I’ve always believed you clean out your own barn, before you start talking about someone else’s barn stinking.

And here’s the ultimate question; why do they always seem to get a forum that is equal to everyone else, and why doesn’t anyone call them on their rhetoric?

Now, if you listen to a right winger, wherever they live is a goddamn paradise, where everyone lives a chaste, moral, Biblical life, and everyone who lives in a “liberal” state might as well be living in a jungle. Right wingers, of course, are all moral, peaceful and God-fearing, while we liberals are all heathenous retches who kill babies and coddle terrorists.

Another note; in the statistics below, I left Washington, DC out of the mix on purpose. It’s not a state, the city is largely run by Congress, and its population for most of the day is mostly transient, which tends to skew per capita figures to a very great degree. Plus, some measurements included them others didn’t.

Let’s start this with some basic economics.

Here’s a list of the top ten states by median income: 1. Maryland, 2. New Jersey, 3. Connecticut, 4. Alaska, 5. Hawaii, 6. New Hampshire, 7. Massachusetts, 8. California, 9. Virginia, 10. Minnesota.But more interesting are the BOTTOM ten states; 50. Mississippi, 49. West Virginia, 48. Arkansas, 47. Kentucky, 46. Alabama, 45. Louisiana, 44. New Mexico, 43. Oklahoma, 42. Tennessee, 41. South Carolina.

Those above statistics have been pretty much static for at least 30 years; the groupings haven’t changed much. The only reliably Republican state in the top ten is Alaska, and they almost don’t even count, because they’re largely socialist. They pay no state taxes, and the state cuts them a check every year, courtesy of the oil companies. I had to laugh during the campaign, when Caribou Barbie bragged on the fact that she “negotiated” a higher welfare payment for Alaskans from the oil companies. They got more money because everyone was paying $4 a gallon for gas, and the oil companies were making record profits. But all of the other nine are either solidly blue or very purple. Meanwhile, ALL of the bottom ten are quite reliably red, especially after the Republicans made sure they stayed that way post-Katrina.

Now, it is possible to fudge numbers when using medians and averages, but there is no fudging these, because the poverty rate is so widespread. The ten states with the highest number of residents living below the poverty line are: 1. Mississippi, 21.6%, 2. Louisiana, 19.4%, 3. New Mexico, 19.3%, 4. Arkansas, 17.9%, 5. West Virginia, 17.9%, 6. Kentucky, 17.4%, 7. Texas, 16.6%, 8. Alabama, 16.1%, 9. South Carolina, 15.7%, 10. Oklahoma, 15.3%. Roughly the same group of states, and all run by Republicans.

Again; these people are telling us how to put people to work, and increase tax revenues? Seriously? They’re running the poorest states in the country, and they won’t be satisfied until they’ve done the same thing for the rest of the country.

So why is it, no matter how many times the Republican “base” votes for their Republican heroes, and nothing changes, they continue to support them? Oh, wait; the answers are below. I just haven’t gotten to them yet.

By the way. they don’t just occupy the bottom economically. They always talk about how tough they are on crime, mostly because they throw a bunch more people in jail, and they execute far more criminals than blue states. And they’ll swear that such measures make everyone safer. But you can’t prove it based on statistics. The ten states with the highest violent crime rate are, according to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Statistics for 2006. 1. South Carolina, 2. Tennessee, 3. Nevada, 4. Florida, 5. Louisiana, 6. Alaska, 7. Delaware, 8. Maryland, 9. New Mexico, 10. Michigan.

Yes, you read that right. The states with the highest violent crime rate are mostly RED, not blue. Seven of the top ten are mostly run by Republicans. If we dig down to the top 15, the only blue states added would be Illinois and California. That’s right, folks; ten of the 15 states with the highest violent crime rates in the country are mostly run by Republicans. Their violent crime rates are far higher than New York, far higher than New Jersey, and a whole lot higher than that bastion of liberalism, Massachusetts. Nineteen states have crime rates higher than the US average, and only five are largely run by Democrats. As a subset of violent crimes, murder rates follow the same pattern; 1. South Carolina, 2. Florida, 3. Maryland, 4. Tennessee, 5. New Mexico, 6. Louisiana, 7. Alaska, 8. Nevada, 9. Delaware, 10. California.

And they love the gun in those red states, don’t they? They will swear with their dying breath that the gun protects them. But check out the ten states with the highest firearm death rate (by now, you should be able to guess most of them); 1. Alaska, 2. Louisiana, 3. Wyoming, 4. Arizona, 5. Nevada, 6. Mississippi, 7. New Mexico, 8. Arkansas, 9. Alabama, 10. Tennessee. For this one, I’m going to show you the states with the lowest firearm death rate, mainly because some will surprise you. 50. Hawaii, 49. Massachusetts, 48. Connecticut, 47. New Jersey, 46. New York, 45. Rhode Island, 44 New Hampshire, 43. Minnesota, 42. Maine, 41. Iowa.

Yes, you read that right. You have a far greater chance of being shot and killed in Caribou Barbie’s Alaska than in Tony Soprano’s New Jersey. Now, I have nothing against guns, per se, but it seems strange that, in states where so many people have them, and claim increased safety and security because they have one, that the odds of being killed are greater there. Doesn’t there seem to be a logical disconnect there somewhere?

Perhaps it’s their lack of education. I know it’s hard to believe, but you know how they’ve been trying to tell us the best way to run schools, and how they can do it better than anyone? Check out the ten states with the highest graduation rates: 1. New Jersey, 2. North Dakota, 3. Iowa, 4. Vermont, 5. Wisconsin, 6. Connecticut, 7. Pennsylvania, 8. Minnesota, 9. Idaho, 10. Nebraska.

Now, a couple of red ones popped up in there, mostly in red states where there really isn’t anything to do if you drop out of high school. I mean, what does a teenager do in North Dakota, Idaho or Nebraska if they aren’t going to school. Yet, seven of the top ten states are still usually run by Democrats, or an occasional moderate Republican. But check out the bottom ten. Again, you can almost guess who most of them are. 50. South Carolina, 49. Nevada, 48. Georgia, 47. New Mexico, 46. Florida, 45, Louisiana, 44. Delaware, 43. Alabama, 42. Mississippi and 41. Tennessee.

Again, nine out of bottom ten states have been dominated mostly by Republicans over the years. New Mexico’s been kind of purple in recent years, but Bill Richardson apparently has his work cut out for him, after so many years of Republican right wing domination.

Now, these right wingers are always assuring us they have it all going on when it comes to morals, right? I mean, you listen to them, and you’d swear that every Republican was a clean as the driven snow. They scoff at us “lib’rulls” and our so-called “lifestyles,” and they are so keen on making sure gay couples don’t partake in that “sacred tradition” of marriage. But they don’t apparently take that “sacred tradition” very seriously themselves. The ten states with the highest divorce rates are as follows; 1. Nevada, 2. Arkansas, 3. Alaska, 4. Oklahoma, 5. Wyoming, 6. West Virginia, 7. Alabama, 8. Idaho, 9. Florida, 10. Tennessee.

Now, when you think of right wingers and their morality bullshit, you have to look at the teen pregnancy rate. And not surprisingly, there seems to be a problem here, as well. Here are the top ten states with regard to teen pregnancy; 1. Nevada, 2. Arizona, 3. Mississippi, 4. New Mexico, 5. Texas, 6. Florida, 7. California, 8. Georgia, 9. North Carolina, 10. Arkansas. Is that unbelievable or what? Except for California, all of them are Republican states , full of politicians who are heavily into waving their “morality” in our faces every chance they get.

But it gets even better.

You know how the right wing Republicans are always so high and mighty about their alleged independence from the federal government, and how really pissed off they are over the stimulus bill, and all the bank bailouts and all of that? They’ve always claimed to be advocates for states’ rights, and as much autonomy from the government as possible. And you’ve heard them all rail and whine and cry about welfare, and they openly make fun of anyone who depends on the government to get by.

Well, folks, meet the state welfare queens. These are the top ten states — the ones who get the most bang for the buck. Every single one of these states gets more federal tax money than they pay in, which means other states get less than they pay in. Now, if you were a right winger, would it seem fair that some states get more tax money back than they pay in, while others get less than they pay in? Check out this list, and answer that for yourself. Next to each state is how much money they get back for every dollar in federal taxes they pay in; 1. New Mexico, $2.03 2. Mississippi, $2.02, 3. Alaska, $1.84, 4. Louisiana, $1.78, 5. West Virginia, $1.76, 6. North Dakota, $1.68, 7. Alabama, $1.66, 8. South Dakota, $1.53, 9. Kentucky, $1.51, 10. Virginia, $1.51.

Yes, that’s right, folks, the top ten federal welfare cases are all red states, although I probably shouldn’t include Virginia, since the northern part of the state is practically federal territory, with several federal agencies located there, which is where the federal spending goes. But number 11 is Montana, anyway, so it almost doesn’t matter. Right wing red states are the greatest recipients of federal welfare, contrary to what they want you to believe.

Check this out. These are the ten states who receive the LEAST federal money; 50. New Jersey, $0.61, 49. Nevada, $0.65, 48. Connecticut, $0.69, 47. New Hampshire, $0.71, 46. Minnesota, $0.72, 45. Illinois, $0.75, 44. Delaware, $0.77, 43. California, $0.78, 42. New York, $0.79, 41. Colorado, $0.81.

Basically, the blue states are subsidizing many of the red states, which are largely run by Republicans. These assholes, who get apoplectic at the very thought that an undocumented immigrant pregnant woman might have a child in a California hospital, seem to have no problem with the California taxpayers effectively subsidizing their states, because they can’t lift their states out of the economic dark ages.

Put simply, the current incarnation of the Republican Party are hypocrites, their supporters are hypocrites and delusional, and if anyone tries to convince you that neocons are better at doing anything with regard to government, show them these stats. In fact, print this and hand it out to any co-worker who argue that Democrats are screwing things up. It might not shut them up, but it’ll make you feel better.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

36 thoughts on “Right Wing Mythbusters

  1. Problem with shit like that….it can easily be twisted all ways.

    My take on the World is the 80-20 deal I heard at some point.

    That is…20% of people fuck up everything for the other 80%.

    And that 20% is split to both ends. 10% right. 10% left.

    So….now having read a manifesto about Repug bastards stealing your wallet. Let’s see one about Demcrap bastards stealing your soul.

  2. In regards to your classification of North Carolina as a Red state, you might want to check the results of the last election.

    Voted for Obama, Democrat governor, etc.

    NC has made huge strides lately in ousting the party of incompetence.

    Complete morons like representative Virginia Foxx continue to get elected, but those are some backwards districts and are a very small minority these days. Most of us view her and her ilk as an embarrassment to the state.

    Give credit where credit is due.

  3. Sitting here in Toronto, or just about anywhere else in the world (except redneck Alberta), your country is nuts!

  4. I agree with Pfaff on my great state of NC. We’re really purple. We’ve only had one Republican governor in my 37 years, but we elected Jesse Helms repeatedly, then we elected Libby Dole. John Edwards served alongside Helms and then Dole. Parts of the state are very red, and parts are very blue. On the whole, I’d say were purple. (or confused)

  5. hell with the red and blue states, I want to see pink and purple. Cause we all know that the difference between pink and purple is your grip. Now we just need to figure out who jerks it harder.

  6. Oh, and speaking of complete morons, I give you the one that bothers me most of all: NC 10th district’s Patrick McHenry. I’m embarrassed to call him one of our own.

  7. Here’s a little gem I keep on the ready called “Red Light States: Who Buys Online Adult Entertainment?”


    Some snippets:

    “Subscriptions are slightly more prevalent in states that have enacted conservative legislation on sexuality (regression results on file with the author). In the 27 states where “defense of marriage” amendments have been adopted (making same-sex marriage, and/or civil unions unconstitutional), subscriptions to this adult entertainment service are weakly more prevalent than in other states (p 0.096). In such states, there were 0.2 more subscribers to this adult web site per thousand broadband households, 11 percent more than in other states.

    As shown in Table 4, subscriptions are also more prevalent in states where surveys indicate conservative positions on religion, gender roles, and sexuality. In states where more people agree that “Even today miracles are performed by the power of God” and “I never doubt the existence of God,” there are more subscriptions to this service. Subscriptions are also more prevalent in states where more people agree that “I have old-fashioned values about family and marriage” and “AIDS might be God’s punishment for immoral sexual behavior.” Survey results
    come from the Pew Value Surveys (1987–2007 combined dataset).”

    May God now bless these good people with bikes also.


  8. I think the Colonel hit the nail on the head. Calling EITHER party a “party of incompetence” seems to fit rather nicely. Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid???!!! Tom Daschele, Teddy Kennedy, ROLAND BURRIS???? Cmon…you are rational people…and you would cling to these as scions of the Democrat party that are representative of YOU? Good luck with that. Just like you’ll never see me claiming Sarah Palin as an even remotely similar and/or representative POV as far as I’m concerned.

    We’re getting screwed coming and going…it’s just a shame that it’s taken this “recession” to open people’s eyes…it’s been going on for a LOOOONG time.

    So…why is it that a third pary is never considered viable? I think there’s no better time than the present.

  9. These statistics don’t surprise me. The masses are asses. Most sheeple remind me of horses, once freed from the burning barn, will run back in to their deaths unless tied outside.

    The red staters will tell everyone how much better it is in their neck of the woods because they don’t know any better. They’ll listen to Rush or whatever rightwing d-bag is spouting that day tell them that it’s all the fault of the OTHER guy, the homos, the librulls or (pick your favorite minority). They’ll get all lathered up and filled with hate. Rather than change their own miserable lives they’ll just drag everyone down with them.

    I’ve travelled extensively around the US and Canada and I found a place with just the right mix of conservatives, liberals and middle of the roaders. It’s in a pristine natural environment not so pretty it attracts too many tourists. Mountains, lakes and lots of open space. A small vibrant economy with a lot of do it yourselfers. Cost of living is low, work is always available. The corporations haven’t raped it yet. People don’t talk politics much. They talk about the weather or who needs help on a project. Everyone doesn’t know everyone;, you can have privacy. People are curious not nosy.

    Yep this place exists. It’s out there. It may not be Shangri-La but it sure as hell aint West virginia.

    Guess what though? You’ll have to find it for yourself.

  10. Yeah, it is a shame a third party can’t seem to get a foothold to shake things up a bit. I would guess that a viable third party would make the two big parties unhappy and further guess the big two make some pretty good efforts to keep a new kid on the block out of their game. Hard enough trying to convince voters there is only one dark side to avoid.

  11. I’m glad to read push back on partisan politics in general.

    I think that until there is deep and substantial campaign finance reform, and until the political positions of elected officials and political parties are no longer beholden to corporate investments in campaigns and lobbying, both parties, and any party, even a third party, will continue to fail the ideal of representative democracy that our country was founded upon.

    In other words, I think our representative democracy has become a corporate auction to which no party is immune.

    Obama’s campaign began to shake the auction by engaging massive amounts of voters with his grassroots organization, but ultimately this just made it more expensive for the corporados. Mind you I think the Ds are way better than the Rs in terms of serving the country’s needs right now (the Rs couldn’t run a fucking ice cream truck right now) but servicing the public interest is ultimately subservient to servicing those who ultimately broker the power (cash). And that’s not you or I, folks.

    I will judge Obama’s presidency on his capacity to make *change* that places power back in the hands of the people. He knows that’s what needs to be done, and he’s said so. But whether he can or will choose to actually do anything about it is a whole other story. It would threaten his party’s power base.

    An interesting read:


  12. Wait a minute-Maryland has the seventh highest crime rate and the third highest murder rate? But it’s among the bluest of blue states. ‘Splain me that.

  13. …ah, dave…yer doing it again…the finger pointing & criticizing w/out offering any real solutions…

    …you’re once again ridiculing rather offering that intelligent perspective which you proposed to write up & were promised would be addressed as you requested…

    …you may be doing it in a “kinder, gentler” ‘dave voice’ but it’s still nothing but the same old same old…

    …waiting patiently…

  14. sommerfliesby, I actually was mad at myself after writing such a one sided comment because I’m no party whore, honestly.

    Both parties are in fact incompetent.

    Both seem to be inherently corrupt.

    Both take full advantage of their power for personal gain if given the opportunity.

    I guess the big difference is one party at least seems somewhat genuine in their attempt to help the American people where the other talks down to the nation like we’re a bunch of retarded fucking 3rd graders who cant do a simple google search in order to completely disprove their bullshit talking points.

    The latter usually seems to take the brunt of my internet anger.

  15. If dave’s one thing, it’s consistent, but isn’t he supposed to be in timeout until he finishes his treatise? Personally, I think he’s scared to put his “ideas” into words and that he’ll never actually do it.

  16. Tennessee, high in violent crimes and murders?

    And I wonder why they want it to be legal to bring guns to bars other establishments that serve alcohol!! What was I thinking?!

    Having grown up in bum fucked Kentucky, I know all too well that rednecks, guns, and booze don’t mix.

  17. dogmaticdave is so upset right now all his one liners from the radio and tv are useless. he has to formulate an argument now and is asking questions for help. quick google boy deduce a topic sentence with support. we will let it fly with only 3 supporting agents as an aid to your disability and to top it off you dont even need a conclusion. that is a glass half full for the taking for you my friend;. a fresh start if you will….

    oh what is your tax bracket again? we can guess but in fairness and respect I ask before providing this thread with a living example for Mr Milt and Co. article

  18. NC might have had a Republican governor this time if the GOP candidate hadn’t been from Charlotte. Raleigh and points eastward are afraid of anything from Charlotte that isn’t tax revenue.

  19. Party A raised taxes and is anti gay and abortion

    party B raised taxes and is pro gay and abortion

    about the only difference

  20. I don’t think North Dakota is as red as some of you think.


    North Dakota needs subsidization because the farmers don’t get paid very well or very reliably. Most of the profits go to General Mills and Borden or whatever so the government ends up paying the farmers to grow the crops. Minnesota thrives in large part because of the massive amounts of products they produce from crops grown in North Dakota.

    I thought Obama would have restored Habeas Corpus by now. Does that make me a left wing extremest or a staunch conservative? If you pick one or the other I’m guessing you’re quite heavily brainwashed. You need to rinse it off with the film America – Freedom to Fascism. Actually, check these all out: http://torrentchannel.com/top_20 Use your brain for something other than praising Bush or Obama or some other fucking bastard who you think is great.

  21. So I went for a bike ride yesterday, and we were maybe 0.2 miles into the woods and, what the fuck, SNOW? Come on, it was already 54 degrees and raining, why should I have to hike my bike through snow? Isn’t it summer yet??

  22. Hey uglyyeti, Did you notice that McCrory didn’t even carry Mecklenburg county? He just got caught up in the whole Obama thing. I don’t think any republican could have won that race. He ran a great campaign and did better than anyone else could have. I also think it’s interesting that Mike Munger (libertarian) got way more votes that anyone from that party has ever gotten in NC.

  23. So how DOES a blue state like Maryland rack up such impressive crime statistics?

  24. Jack,

    Mayor Pat did indeed get caught by the straight ticket pull. I keep telling myself that’s how slimeball Nick Mackey won state district 99 too.

    The Charlotte connection didn’t help him in the East either though – there weren’t as many straight pulls for the blue team out there. Hopefully Pat will give it another crack – or contest Dole’s senate seat instead. She’s warmed that long enough.

  25. Wow, good to read how great things are here in California… and here I thought I was living in a state with the highest state income taxes and at the same time going bankrupt.

    And here I thought we were fucked. Good to know it’s all great here.

  26. I just hope the weather holds in CA, I’m driving down Thursday. Gonna do the Rex Ride metric century in Folsom on Sunday then go down to the Bay Area and do some climbing on the roads of the Santa Cruz Mtns. (That’s why I put a 27 on the Trophy Bike, I hear that Pescadero Road, etc. will put you in the pain cave.) Awoo.

  27. Yes, yes it will… and it’s June. The weather will hold. The thing about that area, is that you can tell the weather by the calender.

    If you’ve got your mtb with you, get a Krebs (not the cycle, the riding guide) books. There’s some stellar riding in the area. I think it’s Wilder Ranch on the North end of town. The trails go from the ocean, up for miles.

    If you end up in the North Bay, there’s awesome riding in both Sonoma and Napa counties. Let me know and I’ll suggest some routes…

  28. el jefe-

    Yeah, I’d really like to do a Sonoma/Napa trip, I even have a friend I can stay with. This time, it will be just Folsom and Palo Alto, and just a road bike…

  29. …mikey….bring an assortment of riding gear w/ you when you head down this way…tuesday afternoon at 12:59pm (right now)—overcast, chilly-ish @ 63* w/ the same kinda shit predicted for the rest of the week…

    …prob’ly see some sun, some overcast, partic’ly in the mornings…not gonna be warm balmy california evenings either…

    …the governator is working on a deal w/ the devil right now, “if yo don’d make de economy too bad mister debil, we let cho fuck wit de weedder for a while, ya ???”

  30. …mikey, forgot to mention…i’m in marin, just north of the bridge & only a few miles from the coast…

    …might be a little warmer inland…but be a boy scout…

  31. bgw- ten-four, I hear ya. Being a Pugetropolis rider, I ALWAYS have a poly top, full-finger gloves and tights in my duffel… don’t plan to wear ’em, but as you say… be prepared. Hey, if you’re anywhere near Sacto this weekend c’mon out for the Rex ride http://www.arpf.org/rex.shtml I’ll be the dude on the black Scott CR1, should be easy to spot among the several thousand bibs they issue. I’m out to ride. :)