Wide Fucking Open

I’ll not be in attendance at this Friday’s summit in Flagstaff as we’re taking the kids to Sea World over the weekend. It will be interesting to see what transpires. I am hoping that cooler heads will prevail and kick ass bike racing will continue to prosper in and around Flagstaff. I have not said much about the recent blow up in Flagstaff other than a few comment posts here and there. I don’t have much to add other than what has already been said. Well, that may not be entirely true: I do have things to say (as I’m prone to), and I have no idea if anyone else has already articulated it for me.

I thought about writing an “open letter” to all parties involved. Then I thought about directing the open letters to certain gentlemen in particular. And by “thought” I mean “wrote”. After sleeping on it, and reading them again in the light of day (er, in my kitchen), I realize it won’t to anyone any good to say such things.

Look, you guys may not realize it yet, or ever, but you fucked up. Nothing good will come of such idiocy. You are all racers, former, current or both (save one in alleged attendance I’m not sure has ever competed). But the rest of you have raced, and at the highest levels. And you all know better. You were all raised better than that. And I expect more from you.

Do I sound like Dad? Good. So be it. If that is what it takes. There are a lot of cool things happening in and around Flagstaff, whether it’s skiing, running, cycling, or rock climbing. Public lands belong to all of the public. They are not yours alone. The folks at MBAA are real people. They are friends of mine. They work hard to put on mountain bike events across the state. People in Flagstaff worked hard to put on that race. Many of them are friends of mine as well. None of them deserve to be treated like that.

I’ve forgone the personal letter to each of you; at least I’ve decided not to post them on a public forum like drunkcyclist. I’ve said what I need to say. Some of you I will be seeing in the next few weeks. Some of you I may never see again.

And now for something completely different.

From: Jim
Saw this on my ride today and had to chase him down to get a photo because I couldn’t believe my eyes and I didn’t think anyone would believe me if I attempted to describe it. I’m without speech. Unreal.
img00140-20090519-1304

Two words: Minnesota Vikings.

From: nate
Subject: the american astronaut; BNS
So, this is the coolest movie I’ve seen in a while. Here’s the trailer: www.youtube.com

It’s kind of a musical, with really hip music. here’s a scene: www.youtube.com

So, Corey Mcabee, writer director star of the movie, is the front man for The Billy Nayer Show which is the band that did the music for the movie and also is pretty frickin cool.

here’s a Mcabee bit:www.youtube.com

and another: www.youtube.com

and some live BNS: www.youtube.com

anyways, good stuff.

That was some of the weirdest shit I’ve ever watched. And I’ve seen some weird shit!

From: Stevil
Subject: Have you seen this?
Between sips of bourbon, and tending to the meth lab, I’m sure you all have seen this, but if not here’s an item sent to me from Ghostship Matt.
Truth truly is stranger than fiction.
www.bicycling.com

Same article, same website, text layout that is a little easier to read here: bicycling.com

Big man. Little Taser.

That shit is getting completely out of control. Just because it is classified at “less-lethal” force, it does not mean you can use it indiscriminately. Someone is going to get killed. For what? Riding two abreast?

Straight up link dump’n like old times:
Will the real Dick Cheney please stand up? tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com
More awesomeness from Cheney & Friends. tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com
Even more Dick: nytimes.com/…dowd
Look at this fucking hipster. www.latfh.com
Goodbye Kornheiser, hello Gruden. sports.espn.go.com
How long till Steele is fired? tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com
Disbar them all. talkingpointsmemo.com

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

26 thoughts on “Wide Fucking Open

  1. …well, juan grande…if you ever wonder just why you spend those long hard hours studying the law (beyond better supporting your family), that mionske/bicycling mag story is a damn fine indicator of the need for knowledge & competency within the legal system…

  2. Conspiracy , protectionism , and ego . The people responsible for this , I have another word for you . Kharma . Front wheel blow out at 40 .Say it isnt so Joe . Ultimatly there is only one decider of the fact . Man up !!!!!!!!!!

  3. not sure about all this…but I knew Dan along time ago
    and I bet this is just a case of Dan D being Dan D…
    at any rate…Dan stop acting like a twelve year old, time to grow up!

    I know Me first
    Billy

  4. Well BJ, this is your site and you thus have license to say/do what you please. But – your words, condemnation, etc about the recent event come across as ‘holier than thou’. Is the universe supposed to be groovy again with your condemnation and subsequent forgiveness?

    Personal letters… WTF?!

  5. Thats it , I’m notifying the national press ! Anderson Cooper or Olberman . I cant decide . Who will be todays worst person in the universe ?

  6. as an utterly lame kleenix’er…. who loves to ride in Flag, do i have to attend this “summit” to justify my worthiness for the elitist local anointment?

    i suppose walmart is there because of phx… you probably got starbucks because of phx as well… or maybe you could look to your civic leaders for the “phx’ing of flg” instead of pointing the finger at those who appreciate your town more than you do.

    Jon is a good man and far from “holier than thou”. those who are dragging his name thru the mud over this, just because he started DC, need to grow up. Jon hasn’t sheilded anyone. and nobody here can say they’ve never had an irresponsible-at-times friend or acquaintance.

  7. Hey I finally hooked up this DTV box and I get the Giro on free TV, right out of the ether like magick!

    GO TYLER!!

  8. “holier than thou”…now there’s a cliche’ that’s lost a little panache over the last few years w/ all the revelations going on in the church…

    …& hehehe…i just used “cliche’” & “panache” in the same sentence…

  9. ” You said it man…. Nobody fucks with the Jesus!”……
    ” Eight year olds, Dude.”

  10. First off, Mitch: we hate your city as much as you do!

    And BGW and ‘Flounders’ – is the baby jesus 8 years old? Or is one or both of you?

    And an affirmative yes, that would be calling you out.

  11. It’s a movie quote… If you have to ask, you’ll never know!

    And calling who out, for what?

  12. Is fatbitch done flappin his lips?
    ‘Flounders’ oooohhh That really hurt man!!!! I’m gonna be cryin about that one ALL weekend!
    Punk Bitch!

  13. …did i read that right, fatbob ???…you say yer coming out ???…

    …good for you & thanks for sharing…

    …i may be straight as a fucking arrow, fatbob, but hey, i’m a sensitive guy & i’ve been thinkin’ about how to help ya come all the way out of the closet…

    …whisper “i like walks on the beach, cute puppies & milkshakes w/ two scoops of vanilla & fresh strawberries” in the ear of any of the men you find yerself attracted to…

    …i’ll bet you’ll be “taking it like a man” before the night is out…

    …& hey, enjoy…just sayin’…

  14. The bad cop article was straight terrifying. Such as that slob should not be allowed to drive; nevermind having a gun and a badge.

  15. Flounders and BGW:

    Any time, any place. And way to keep with the homophob theme – very articulate and mature.

    Fuck you.

  16. …owww, wow…it’s like elvis sang, fatbob, “i’m all shook up”

    …nothing homophobic about my comment, bud…you were slingin’ shit & i slung some back at ya…it had a particular “theme” but there ain’t nothing “phobic” about it…

    …if yer concerned about articulation & maturity, then keep an eye on yer own finger pointing…

    …hope ya showed up at the “summit” & had something worthwhile & positive to add to the discussion…quite honestly, we all “flash” w/ anger, that’s just human nature but are ya cool enough to find common ground & an attitude that might work & prevail for all concerned…

    …just remember…that little petri dish of funky ass cycling emotions down there in az can carry a long way, what w/ the inter-net…in general, all of us have “trail & land use” issues wherever we are around the country…let’s not anybody set any stupid precedents…

  17. “Flounders and BGW:

    Any time, any place.”

    Hey Bigaybob,

    What does this mean, exactly? Is this an offer for a free blow job?…
    Be more specific! If it’s a threat, I’m really shaking! Nothing more scary than someone blowing shit out of their pie hole on the internet!!!

    “And an affirmative yes, that would be calling you out.”

    You go ahead and let me know, next time you’re in the bay area! My friends have a clubhouse with a boxing ring. They will be plenty happy to watch, and ref a good clean boxing match. I check this website regularly during the week. Just let me know, and I’ll make the arrangements. Good, clean fun! Loser shuts the fuck up!

  18. …jeesus, flanders…if ol’ fatbob takes ya up on that, i gotta be there…i’ll buy the winner his brews…whataya drink ???…

    …i’m prob’ly only a bike ride away up here in marin…

    …btw, gnomer said…“And Fatbob never introduced himself. Just sat in the corner or so, and reasoned why his hater is better.”

    …so “FATBOB”…speaking of “calling out”, what the fuck up, dude ???…you called out pretty much everybody, including the pay n’ take, then you show up & don’t even fucking bother to add something worthwhile ???…don’t really believe in the shit you speak over the internet ???…you afraid of public speaking or introducing yerself???…or do ya just not have the balls, excuse me, the courage of yer convictions ???…

    …let’s hear the fucking WORD, dude…so far, yer pretty disappointing but prob’ly more so to yerself than anyone else, huh ???…

  19. Col. Flanders,

    Next time I’m in the bay area … be sure to look you up. You can suck my cock in your boxing (read felching) ring. And yer friends can watch…

  20. and whomever that poor schmuck was “sitting in the corner” at self-absorbed summit … it wasn’t fatbob. nope. sorry. wrong dude. did any of you hipsters engage said ‘corner sitter’? if not, were you merely admiring him from afar, gnomer? how gay. how lame.

    the real fatbob was out of the state racing his BIKE (IHBC).

    peace out. this site sucks.