Ahhhhhh. Wednesday.

i got so damned extreme yesterday raking leaves that i broke two rakes. many people already know this, but mother of fuck, if you throw I-N-G at the end of a word, i will take that word to thence forth mean “world championship of the universe.” that said, i set to task my competitive and diligent work ethic upon rakING. when i snapped the first handle clean from the rake proper, my misses and i had such a great laugh together! “ahhhh hahahah you’re so extreme, baby! you’re so extreme raking leaves and being all kamikaze and shit! hahaha i love you so much baby! you’re so striking and handsome! i’m so glad to be having your child!!!,” she bellowed.

with one rake left and square yard upon yard of yard left to rake, i got back to it. i in all my extremeness managed to snap yet another rake handle in two, at which point her reaction was not so affectionate. she turned suddenly to me and said, “what the fuck is your problem? you’re such a fucking dipshit. it’s like i’m taking care of a 5 year old.” in so many ways, she’s right.

alas- i managed to pick up a spare rake handle at my local branch of The Ace Hardware, as the plywood splint that i had fashioned did finally give up the ghost, and the yard got finished while my exhausted dearest Allison whiled away the rest of the task by napping. Bless her, that sweet girl. She knows just what a mess she has on her hands, and manages to love me anyhow. as a matter of fact, despite my spastic antics we’re getting married this may.

this great life must be a thing of fiction.


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About Snake Hawk

good, bad, funny, sad, stupid, rad, has, had. non-joining funhaver from coast to coast(er brake). buster of the chops, drawer of the logos. North Carolina, USA

8 thoughts on “Ahhhhhh. Wednesday.

  1. from: captain Ralph
    subject: Rakes

    When I broke two rakes this fall I got the second response both times.
    enjoy the site.
    link us up in the link dump if you don’t mind:

    it used to be a blog about kayaking until the 7 year drought hit the
    southeast and we all had to start riding bikes again.

    Consider yourself linkdumped Ralph.

  2. That is good new Snakums.

    In contrast, my baby’s moma came over yesterday and nearly got me arrested. I spent the rest of the day drinking, puking and sobbing.

    No big deal. Just a different kind of fiction.

    Oh, and my boy uses your plastic T.V. piece as a place mat. He digs it. So do I. Thanks.

    a little sunshine goes a long way.

  3. Howking the hellking can you rake leaves when they’re frozen solid under a layer of snow? I went riding this morning and froze my fucking hands solid while dodging patches of black ice and piles of frozen slush.

    I’m going skiing.

  4. Raking Leaves. Last winter i broke three ax handles chopping wood, now i just have wood, at least you’re raking something.

  5. It musta been a wierd day yesterdee, my princess wunt too kisited with my behavior asswell.

  6. Consider the delicacy of life. The sheer impermanence of health, and youth. My wife is being stolen from me by cancer. She was my riding partner, and my soul mate. She called me a silly ass more than a few times, and I now cherish every one of them. Go give that woman a smooch, say something nice, wait for the smile. And then start figuring out how you are going to get away with buying that new frame you’ve been eyefucking for the last week even though there are 6 bikes in the garage already.