About Snake Hawk

good, bad, funny, sad, stupid, rad, has, had. non-joining funhaver from coast to coast(er brake). buster of the chops, drawer of the logos. North Carolina, USA

21 thoughts on “I’m Just Sayin’…

  1. american as fuck. while all you schoolgirls were in the locker room after wrestling practice with your face in a jock’s pimply ass crack playing Crocodile Hunter (against your will), people like Gnome, and Hawk, and Snake, and SnakeHawk, and Mountain Ham, and BGR, and the HUsky Midget, (wait, no. he was in the locker room), were out clocking metric 10 milers on the bikes in the freezing Indiana Snow before school, godblessing America and preparing for the armageddon, and not giving a fuck about mini-trucks, class rings, or a stupid job at DataBlank. We were out laying the lines for Al Gore’s internet system, chasing the dragon and saying “fuck a weight bench. My salami weighs a ton, and Chuck Chisolm’s gonna stuff me in a locker no matter if I miss wrestling practice or not, so i might as well be out here on the bianchi profiling my way through rows of corn with al gore’s hot new setup. fuck some weights. fuck chuck chisom. fuck homecoming.”

    hawk, out.

    p.s. i hope my boss don’t find out i’m drunk. DataBlank’s on a hiring freeze.

  2. “American as fuck” is perhas one of this sites greatest lines ever

    fuck you snake that should have been my line

  3. there are lots of famous made it on their own tards out there. Lux Interior for example
    I have all the cramps albums

  4. American as fuck…I like that too. maybe make a good masthead…waving flag in the background…maybe a few gay retarded midgets in spandex chasing each other around?

  5. Some dickwad objected to my post on the original post in this trainwreck, cluster fuck, series of posts. Said maybe I don’t belong here. I’ve been a part of this forum 4-6 years long enough to say “Fuck You” for that “beeen here longer than you” pile of shit. Unless you ride over 6000 miles a year I wouldn’t let you lick my…let’s say rear tire. I’m sure you drink a lot more than I do. You could have only been drunk when you posted that poser pile of shit.

    That post was more obscene than any link this site ever had.
    All I can say is I’d love to ride with anyone on this website other than you.

  6. I come here to commune with a bunch of outcast bike riders that Bicycling/forums.com would be never be comfortable with. Looking around this world (NY Times, CNN or Fox news I’m happy to be considered a retard, insulted if I wasn’t, tried all my life to offend people like that. I’ll be damed if anyone here thinks I’m wrong on this. 29ers, favorite lube or beer I expect. But I hope Bowl Of Dick, BS or jimmy, never has a child who’s ever needing even a little extra help or loving…. Well…I won’t say what I’m thinking. It’s something we have no control over. It happens to the best and worst of us, even Jenny McCarthy and Sarah Palin. I don’t think there is a member of this site who would run from a son like that in the first post if they got the devestating news after their child wasn’t perfect.
    Let’s all let this go away, after 12 beers I’d try to kick your ass, and you mine, and the next day not know why.

    LIfe sucks and then you die. For every creature on this planet. especialy those who ride, then enjoys a brew or 2

  7. If you can tell someone you are drunk, you ain’t

    How can anyone belive the humanistic intent of a post with more than 25 personal pronouns in it

    jesus christ

    reminds me of that joke How do you get a Fred to kill himself? give him a knife and ask him whos rides 6000 miles a year

    retards are funny end of story

  8. I just won’t stand for some Lycra clad, lane blocking, poser saying I might not belong here.

    Long before I throw a leg over a top tube, I’m a retarded fool, thinking climbing some dirt or paved wall is going to make me a better whatever I was when I appeared kicking and screaming in a hospital delivery room.

    I’m just some accidental bit of protoplasm, teeth and bone, created as some huge cosmic joke.

    If I have a good day on one of my fancy ti or steel bikes or drinking myself silly here in front of my computer it’s just payback and “fuck you” for every time from when I was 6 through today for every time was regularly kicked in the teeth.

    My dog thinks I’m some sort of a god, poor thing. My kids, both in college, think I’m a pain in the ass, as long as the checks keep coming. I think I’m a fool having fun, riding on a few pounds of titanium, waiting to be ground to a pulp by all the logging trucks speeding on the road I live on.

    It’s all a cosmic accident and after 3 billion years a cosmic joke.

    If my wife was still alive and here to calm me down, just by putting her hand on my shoulder or head, or moan softly when I clumsily jump on top of her I wouldn’t be the maniac fool that is all I have left. But now you can ride my draft or cut me off, I’ve had worse on my best day.