Open letter of sorts

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This one goes out to all you straight baller cats. I don’t even know what that means. Bensy says it a lot, so it’s got to be on the leading edge of cool.

From: Mackey
Subject: open letter

right on.

now-mag

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

16 Replies to “Open letter of sorts”

  1. OK good point, but….perhaps some medication. JD or long necks, call me in the morning. Or afternoon.

  2. Good on ya ! Submit that to all the news papers in the world . Fuckers !!!!!!!! Learn how to ride !!!!!!

  3. …i ride bikes a lot & i definitely drive a car but that “open letter” makes perfect sense to me…

    …it oughta be published in “all the newspapers in the world” like ‘singletrack maestro’ suggests…in bold print, every monday morning, every fucking week, ad infinitum…

  4. …zen…as an ex-pat canuck i can tell you that mr callandra obviously composed his diatribe during the summer month(s)..

    …the winter months & months & months are all about snowmobiles & dogsled teams…just as bad really…ever get dogsled harness caught up in yer wheels when an irresponsible inuit cuts hard right on ya ???…not pretty…

  5. Statement gets to the point nice and quick.

    I’ll pass on 200$ oil though. Might be nice to cut down on gas usage but all those other nice petroleum based products would get expensive too.

    And the liquor doesn’t walk to the liquor store either. Of course we could all go back to the brewing our own…or maybe the distillers could use ethanol powered vehicles.

  6. and the assholes driving the 53 footer death traps… fix your fuckin trucks and drive like you actually gives a shit about other human beings. i hope the railways make a big come back.

  7. Sorry, it’s kinda long:

    The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and donations are being accepted.

    The Library will include:

    The Hurricane Katrina Room
    – still under construction

    The Alberto Gonzales Room*
    – where you can’t remember anything.

    The Texas Air National Guard Room
    – where you don’t have to show up.

    The Walter Reed Hospital Room
    – where they don’t let you in.

    The Guantanamo Bay Room
    – where they don’t let you out.

    The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room
    – which no one has been able to find.

    The National Debt Room
    – huge, with no ceiling.

    The Tax Cut Room
    – with entry only to the wealthy.

    The Economy Room
    – located in the toilet.

    The Iraq War Room
    – After you your first visit, you are required to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.

    The Dick Cheney Room
    – in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.

    The Environmental Conservation Room
    – still empty.

    The Supreme Court Gift Shop
    – where you can buy an election.

    The Airport Men’s Room
    – where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.

    The Decider Room
    – equipped with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.

    Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President’s accomplishments.

    The library will also include many quotes by George W. Bush:

    “The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.”

    “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”

    “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”

    “No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.”

    “I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change.”

    “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.'”

    “Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.”

    “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”

    “The future will be better tomorrow.”

    “We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.”

    “One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” (during an education photo-op)

    “Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.”

    “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”

    “I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”…George W.Bush to Sam Donaldson