I’ve yet to leave this chair

A brother could get used to this “winter break” concept. Damn glad I’m not down in Tucson trying to find some kind of fitness before the Two Four in February. First up, this little gem:

That and way more fun at: seveload

No idea how that sells washing machines… But I really want to buy one or two of ‘em right now.

From: Ben T.
Subject: 4000 holes
So my buddy and I were driving to the skate park and I was taking random shots out of the window and I got this one – I dig the rowdy chick next to the 4000 hole sign, she just might have that many… your looking at a spokane chick and yes she probably has a kid or three and a std’s. There are more women in the bar scene here with kids than without. This might be a good caption this or not. My caption would be- it only cost a buck to stick it in one of those 4000 holes.

4000_holes

I’m afraid to caption it without two condoms and bread bag up over my nuts and tied with a string. God damn. Spokompton lives. Gimmie a minute.

Ok, all set. Damn string was too tight. I hope my wife doesn’t get upset I dumped half a loaf of bread out on the counter. I needed the bag, honey. Well, at least it’s better that the half loaf I floated in the pool the other day. What? Nothing. Can I put the bread back in this bag when I’m done? What the kids don’t know won’t hurt ‘em.

My caption is: “She’s got summer teeth – Some’r here, some’r there.”

Link dump:

The Doping Dilemma – sciam.com
Dilemma – emmagardner.com
Photobombers of the Day – listoftheday.blogspot.com
Snow Jammin – azcentral.com
Husky Midget Theme Song – dancefloordale.com

That jam, in case you’re interested, is Flying Lotus – Los Angeles. The meat is all Husky.

Ever wonder why those yellow bike programs seem to go nowhere?

yellow_bike_program

I think that explains it. On several levels.

Whatever. Swing that hammer.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

15 thoughts on “I’ve yet to leave this chair

  1. “Spokompton,” ha! I spend a lot of time over there. The kids here “on the coast” (Seattle) like to call it “Spokangeles,” derisively, of course. What I like about Spokane is I stay downtown and hop on the Trophy Bike after work and ride up to Idaho and back, fifty miles along the Spokane River. It’s an awesome ride.

  2. another awesome ride is starting out from Ione WA (on the Pend Orielle River), climb up to Sullivan Lake, around, bomb the descent to Metaline Falls (The molybdenum capital of the North Panhandle area, yo), cruise up to the border and harass the Canadian immigration guys (smartass wanted to “inspect my vehicle for prohibited agricultural products”) and back to Ione. About sixty miles, you’ll see more deer than cars.

    Mikey

  3. There should be a charity help the hammer kids get some disposable lighters to add to the mix. Are you listening, Sally Struthers?

  4. I like European commercials so much better than our domestic variety.

    Not sure if sex sells but it definitely gets my attention.

  5. @Mikey

    +1 on the Customs fucktards in Newport. They tossed my car down to the door panels several years ago when I was headed up for a ski trip. I’m pretty sure that B.C. is still a net exporter of “prohibited agricultural products” anyhow.

  6. Ben T you are so fucking cool and tough. Your brilliant insights into the women of Spokane are amazing. How did you manage to get these skills to talk shit about someone you don’t know at all. Seriously, I’d have to say you are a rare piece of shit to throw these attitudes around. Another big tough guy dissing women he doesn’t know, fucking pathetic. Let me guess, it’s been months or years since you’ve seen any action right? Typical dumbfuck boy. Johnny, why you posting this shit, you must owe this POS a big favor. The world needs less of these kind of dumbasses spouting off garbage.

  7. Real gentlemanly comment on her teeth Johnny. I didn’t think you were such a real man. Have another drink and talk more shit to bolster your ego.

  8. As an experienced world traveler who’s seen some pretty shitty places I’d have to agree that downtown Spokane is right up there among the sleaziest places I’ve ever been. The aggressive glue-huffing panhandlers are an especially nice touch, as is the white supremacist gutter punk subculture. Lots of above-average road riding opportunities, but getting shanked for spare change just isn’t my thing.

  9. The Mexican dude flying after the kickback from the sledgehammer is so awesome.

  10. LOL…WTF is up with that hammer vid? And where do I get one, I almost choked my gin and tonic up watching that sheeiiitt.