Merry Christmas

Today, I have a mustache. Tip of the cup towards Pineapple, where ever you may be, my friend. I bagged on shaving this thing I call a face since about last week Wednesday when I penned my last final. Just a little off the sides, my good man. Leave it alone up top.

When my daughter gets up from her post-present-insanity I shall scare her good with this thing. She usually just points and laughs at Daddy.

As it should be.

Update: She took one look at me, laughed, pointed & said, “Dirty!”

My two favorite Christmas tunes of all time are 2000 Miles by the Pretenders and Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses.

Available for you listening pleasure (and download) here:

Pretenders – 2000 Miles mp3

The Waitresses – Christmas Wrapping

My Mother gave me a bottle of 12 year Glenlivet on Saturday past after dinner at her place. I cracked the label and got three glasses for my father and brother-in-law. The bottle didn’t make it to kick off of Monday Night Football.

My wife gave me a bottle of Laphroaig this morning. Good Lord. Uncorked by nine am. It will be the death of me. And I welcome it.

And they say in Flagstaff that “drunkcyclist is neither.” Yeah. I do not miss you jokers or your buddy-bro-brah sniggy gnar gnar weed stop rides. Not. At. All.

Back to the bikes. I spend yesterday (finally) unpacking the remainder of my bikes after the move down from Flagstaff. Bars, pedal, inflate tires, ride ’round the block. Repeat. Good times. I put up hooks for each and every one. Then I cracked a beer and sat looking at them. It has been a while, hasn’t it, ladies? I miss them. Gorgeous, the whole lot. Counting the kids bikes, of which there are four, we’ve got twenty four completes in the garage. Awesome. Simply outstanding.

I think there are parts for another two. I guess I have something to do next week after all?

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

8 thoughts on “Merry Christmas

  1. Laphroaig? The Glen? 24 bikes in the shed?

    Yea Jonny, you ain’t no drunkcyclist.

    Merry Christmas motherfucker. Give the girls a hug for me.


  2. You’re an inspiration. Had to crack open the Glenn Fiddich 21yr……. I feel your pain. Enjoy the holiday


  3. My first X-mas with no fams. Cheap beer is disappearing fast here.

    You, Sir, have it made.

    Lose the ‘stache and make it 26 bikes asap.

    And take the kiddies to KFC tomorrow.

    Make them, and the Colonel, happy. ha ha

  4. juan grande,

    plz don’t dish the flagtown bro brathers this time of year. know your history. we still kinda love you. merry x-mas. anyway, doing our best this year to take the christ out of CHRISTmas. Grrrrrr.

  5. My folks handed me a bottle of Knob Creek this morning and a gift card for Bush’s Last Day. Those are two gifts worthy of a raised glass.

    24 bikes? Nice. I’ve recently crested the 20 mark around here, and it was a good feeling. Onward towards 30.

  6. “Not riding enough, nor not drinking enough is no way to go through life, son.”
    Dean Wormer, misquoted from National Lampoon’s Animal House, 1978.

  7. megan just made me rid the upper lip of my best mustache to date, i was waxing it into curls and everything. i looked like the caller from ringling brothers.
    merry holidays and stuff, hug your family for me, and punch yourself in the dick.