Reading Week

It’s my reading week. I’m trying to study. I’ve got a memo worth 50% of my grade sitting on my desk. Draft number six, don’t cha know. I’m dancing all over the max word count of 2,500. I’m at 2,499 right now. Right on the line! If I change anything (and I have changed several things already today) I have to figure out where I can trim off a little pork to keep this baby under the weight limit. God damn this is a pain in my ass. It’s early, I’m sober, and I’m angry.

Good time to write something for drunkcyclist.com.

Is this the hat trick of steroid nation emails?

From: G.C.
Subject: Mumbai terrorists on the juice; Lance Armstrong says (yawn) he is in the 2009 Tour de France; Armstrong’s promised doping program not ready for PT

The Mumbai (India) terrorists coughed up illicit street drugs including LSD, cocaine, and apparently anabolic steroids. Roger Clemens did not supply HGH though…
steroid_nation/2008/12/mumbai-terroris

Lance Armstrong says to the 2009 Tour de France “I am in”. Wow, shocking.
steroid_nation/2008/12/news-flash-not

However, LA hasn’t got that innovative personal anti-doping program in place yet. Too busy with endorsements we guess.
steroid_nation/2008/12/lance-armstrong

Smooth like butter.

How’s your day going? Better than this I hope.

Mud contaminated with sheep droppings may have caused 161 mountain bikers to fall ill. Cyclists reported vomiting and diarrhea to health officials after taking part in the Builth Wells Mountain Biking Marathon in Powys…

The report concluded the danger was limited to participants who had accidentally ingested the infected mud. Heavy rain had made the situation worse by increasing the amount of liquid mud on the course.
Source: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales…

Now that sounds fun!

Next up: Darts for Dopers. Good times. Thanks to Bill for the link.

Our man on the street, Pistol Pete sent in this next one: www.bikely.com. WTF is that, you ask? Read on:

What is Bikely?
Put very simply, Bikely helps cyclists share knowledge of good bicycle routes.

It can be quite tricky traversing a car dominated city by bicycle, particularly when you need to travel an unknown route to a new destination.

But the chances are, someone has cycled that way before you. Bikely makes it easy for him or her to show you the best way.

Yeah. Cool. Check out the results from a search for Arizona. It came up with 357.

Seems like a nice number. Strangely comforting. Sorta like 9mm and 12 gauge.

. . . I’d started out liking Pilsners and pale ales, and found myself craving more and more hops. The Theobroma managed to satisfy that taste indirectly. It was a lovely amber-colored beer with a hint of bitter chocolate at the beginning and an afterburn of chilies. But despite its ten per cent alcohol, it seemed almost too fainthearted. It was the Sahtea that I loved. For all Selders’s concern, the tea and spices in it hovered politely in the background, leaving the yeast to run the show. Cloudy and golden, with a lush flowering of bananas and cloves, it tasted like something a trader might have sipped a century ago, standing in a colonial market in Ceylon, with open baskets of tea and spices all around. It wasn’t an extreme beer by any stretch, and it certainly didn’t taste Finnish. But it was a time capsule nonetheless.
Source: www.newyorker.com/A better brew.

“. . .with a lush flowering of bananas and cloves.” Yo, what?

It is actually a good read. I just pulled one of many possible wackjob quotes out of it for shits & giggles. Bananas and cloves… I drink beer to get away from that shit, not closer to it.

Like many beer drinkers, I started out liking Miller, Coors and Pabst… And, yeah, now I drink Tecate out the mother fucking can.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

6 thoughts on “Reading Week

  1. Say what you want about Lance. And I have been a critic. Still am.

    This is good for cycling. It will sell more bikes and bring more money to VS. More Cycling TV time. Too bad the French will never use HD cameras.

    The drug thing has been plyed out by all fans and pundits, including me. Dopers Suck a big one. Lance ROger Tyler, Barry Floyd Trak and Field, XC Skiing etc.

    I dont give a fuck about it any more. I just want to watch bikes go up hill and anything to make that more exciting I am all for. Fuck it. I want to see Low ERA’s back in the game. I want to see That Bolt dude run faster than a chick can pedal a bike. I want it all needles in the ass or not

    War Lance laying the wood to Euros in the peloton.

    The only guy I feel any pitty for here is Levi. WTF is he going to do now? Roll over and collect a check? yup

  2. I picked up a case of giardia riding on a farm road a couple of years ago. Gave me the shits and a fever for two weeks. I lost 15% of my body weight, mostly from dehydration. My doctor said he was required by law to notify the board of health, so I got a call from some apathetic old bat at city hall. Note to self, keep your hydration tube tucked away during rainy season (no, not that one you fucking perverts, the one attached to the camelback)

  3. I always end-up being a high-octane beer blender in the spirit of using as much of the shit beer that people give you around the holidays because they think that you actually enjoy all beers. Give me a break, if it’s thick and sweet, laden with beer-polluting flavors or spices, then I proceed to crack open the nearest swilly-gulp and mix accordingly until tolerable. Fuck, most macrobrew beers are blended anyway. No foul there, just using-up all the beer so that I can go get some more of my own design. The predecessor to blending is cooking, but apparently you’re not supposed to boil brats for every meal. Hellbilly