If being a local Flagstaffian requires some sort of douchebag attitude, count me out. I’ve been here for 12 years, and the best it gets is some lonely dude, sitting in a bar on a Monday night, so worried that I don’t say hello, that he has to run home 30 minutes after I offend his sensitivity, and post up an anonymous comment on this blog about it.
That only does two things. First, it makes you & flagstaff look like a loser, to many more than just those at the bar that you are staring back at, and it makes you the Flagstaff version of Uncle Ricco… setting up the camera, and throwing yourself passes outside your van.
I got into the hater trip pretty good for a bit when I worked at Absolute so I can understand the superiority issues. Even now, I still get mah hate on at times when I see stupid comments and other elements of ignorance like retarded fixie kids that are more worried about matching their belt color, with their rim color, than riding. Call me lame as needed. But when someone tries to call me out because I didn’t say hello, and for being short, and wearing glasses, and looking like some form of “local” after a decade plus of residing here, and brings up an ex-girlfriend from 12 years ago, what does that say about being a local or a wannabe mutant? You know so much about me, that you sound like a fan. I can’t even compare to that kind of loser hate, or a lamer way to apply it.
So, on that note you, of your Mutanto coolness, way to go. You’re clearly better, and you should stay here. Keep in mind that I’ve forgotten more mutants than you try to remember. The only one that hasn’t bounced from this too-awesome-town, is Garro. If you’re trying to compare to that, good luck. Garro is tough as nails and always has been as long as I’ve known him. He was the first guy to ride with me and KR back in 96 and he’s got more important things to do than call out anyone on assumptions, or swill his misery with the likes of you. And that motherfucker isn’t from here either.
Next time I’m in the bar, you should drum up some confidence of your own, and buy me a beer. I’ll let you. But, if you don’t have the balls to say hey, or buy a beer for a fellow cyclist, I guess it’s your prob.
November 25th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Very cool blog there at Cococino. Gorgeous work.
I still don’t “get” singlespeed MTB, though. Lightweight and bulletproof, I suppose, but what if the trail goes up 1500-2000 feet?
Mikey
November 25th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I don’t get what “local” is.
I know who most (or some, or several) of the “mutants” were back in the day, and I don’t know that even one of them was born in Flagstaff. I think they were (are) all from somewhere else.
And, I have to ask, why does it matter? It was a bunch of guys racing mountain bikes twenty years ago.
November 25th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
…that mutant boy all wrapped up in hisself, is kind of a bitch, huh ???…
…damn, i’m going ridin’…that is what this is all about, no ???…
November 25th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
“Local?” A fucking stupid premise for any argument. The only “locals” are buried deep beneath the cinders out by Sunset Crater. If your only claims to being substantial as a human being are that you were born in Flagstaff and associated with Mutants, then it can be assumed that you have seriously disappointed your parents and have accomplished nil since graduation. From high school. Please do the rest of us a favor and refrain from procreating while you waste the precious thin air we breathe at 7000 ft.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Yeah, the mutants haven’t really mutated in order to stay relevant in today’s hyper-cool, hipster, unobtainium bike days. Resting on past patterns and accomplishments (however grand) doesn’t exactly help one or many retain place. But here’s the critical point: today’s default leaders of flagtown’s bike scene don’t know or have forgotten about their history. Going back to Elson’s days at Cosmic. The early days of Brad, Yod, Garro. Rex tossing Martans on what became lost burrito. The “scene” many think they now own has always been a scene. Ancestors, whether they be ancient or contemporary, did indeed come before what is in place today. Respect. Reverence. Sense of place. Knowledge. But to have a posting on this semi-hallowed site entitled “Flagstaff Local Hater Fest” is downright wrong and self-defeating. Know your history and appreciate the foundations laid by others. And sorry, but the locals buried under cinders were transients too. Athabascan most likely. The term is inheriently relevate yet holds meaning in particular temporal scales. So, for those out there who can remember what downtown flagstafftown looked like in 1980, you know how solid of a premise this is for all our arguments.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I bought my first bike from Yod.
November 25th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I don’t know how calling out the “Flagstaff Local Hater Fest” is “wrong and self-defeating”. I ain’t hating on anyone here, yet I get called out when I mind my own business, by a dude sitting on a bar stool, in a bar that wasn’t here in the 80’s, claiming to be a “local” who knows my background from 1996 and is chump enough to be anonymous about it on a blog.
From now on, when I’m in the Take, I’ll be sure to make eye contact with all you fuck’n locals no problem. You know who I am.
November 25th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
What is your argument Hostile and why is “local” a solid premise? You forgot about Louis and John that worked at Cosmic Cycles too. Remember how all of them hated working for Elson, you left out that tidbit of respect, reverence, and sense of place. The history may be important to you and your buddies but that’s about it. Yeah, I remember the shitty downtowm dirt lot that is now Heritage square, and I remember the night Gov. Symington toasted the new Babbitt building and guess what? You’re still irrelevant to me.
November 25th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I remember throwing up in the alley behind Alpine Pizza…
In fact, I wish I was doing that right now.
November 25th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
and just who the fuck are you going to be making eye contact with? the old walls in flagstafftown project many eyes. nobody in particular called you out the other night. it was rather a collective call out that’s been brewing for some time. check your shit straight before pointing fingers at anyone or anywall. and history is never irrelevant to the poser-poster “localssuck”. whatever. so how was the “misfits” show? last time Glenn Danizig played a small navajo show in AZ he got knocked the fuck out. and eat my shit bricycle.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Mr. LocalsSuck, you say “history may be important to you and your buddies, but that’s about it”. This is exactly the miopic tripe we locals so repulse. And you daringly call out Garro… yeah, he grew up in Winslow (don’t expect you to understand) and that’s fucking close enough. Yahtahhee and bishnehe chaunch. Not an understatement, feathers have been ruffled tonight…check your back, watch the walls, and bring a wrench. fire been lit.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
“This is exactly the miopic tripe we locals so repulse.”
Dear Mr. Shrub-
Perhaps you mean ‘myopic?’ How does being un-local makes one near-sighted? Too much perspective, perhaps? I’m having trouble following you. Perhaps you’re referring to ‘menudo,’ a regional cuisine based on cow’s stomach, and postulating an effect on one’s vision? That would be odd, but then, I’m not local to Flagstaff. And lastly, by ‘repulse,’ do you refer to the disgorging of one’s just-eaten menudo in the alley behind the pizza parlor? Perhaps ‘regurgitate’ is the word you seek?
Moron.
Helpful as always,
Mikey
PS- I just cut the shit out of my finger on a chain ring, knocking a frozen pedal off the ‘cross bike. Fuck. Remember to apply a dab of lithium grease to that spindle next time.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
dear sir, my callous misspelling of‘myopic’ is the jist of your reply. deep man. what are you, an english teacher? and by the way, i’ve experienced legit menudo on many of trips along baja south and north. sometimes i’ve paid dearly with some GI bug, but it’s all part of the experience. and dear sir, myopic connotes far more than an eye prescription. you’re soooo deep and introspective yet so shallow and bland. and sorry dude, i do not formulate my posts in word and then copy and paste into here. spellcheck, smellcheck. you suck.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
“i’ve experienced legit menudo on many of trips along baja south and north. sometimes i’ve paid dearly with some GI bug, but it’s all part of the experience.”
Dear Mr. Snrub-
Awesome! So YOU’RE the moist butt, with menudo-smelling diarrhea? It all comes clear! Thanks.
“sorry dude, i do not formulate my posts in word and then copy and paste into here. spellcheck, smellcheck. you suck.”
Ooh, scathing. Perhaps you should give spell check [sic] and punctuation a try, you’d sound less like a moron when you spew hateful drivel. But please, don’t use Word [sic], it’s the worst bloatware available.
I’M HELPING!!
Mikey
November 25th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
still the tight-assed “spell checker” … oohhh, hurts so bad. and there’s no hate here, just honesty.
November 25th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Mikey –
I clearly believe I have been chosen as the “moist butt”.
I have been looking for a new nickname and thought this one quite unique, and prefer not to share.
After thinking about it a second, I am willing to pass it along without argument, if someone wishes to take it.
November 25th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Maybe we should rename elgruppomutanto Douchey McDouchebag? What say you all?
November 25th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Man, I’ve been to Flag and even spent some time alone on a bar stool in P n’T . I gotta say as far as locals go I didn’t see many. Flag has more transient peeps than a the wagon train to CA. Unfortunately, the south rim balls em all up and rolls em right back through town once they realize they can’t jump across.
Hell even I left after a year… a lonely year at pay and take.
So what? so, I’ve felt the sting of new folk rolling into my comfy midwestern sanctuary but the reality is you can’t keep anything anywhere a secrete, much less anything on route 66. and if they respect the place you love then by all means let em stay.
Appears what we have here deals less with ‘locals’ and more of a pissing contest. So piss it all out and lets get back to to what DC is all about.
a. bikes b. beer c. old dc porn
November 25th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Dear Mr.Pirata-
Bravo! I defer to you, sir.
Although, fundamentally, who can be said to have never having had a moist butt? Is not a moist butt a seminal [sic] element of the human experience? Do we not enter this world, as wailing infants, with our butts moist indeed? It is not for me to say.
Keep the rubber side down.
Mikey
November 25th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
i get that Flag locals only bullshit all the time. i just keep riding. silly little boys.
i ride bikes, i live in evil Phoenix, those pricks up the hill give me shit all the time. fuck them.
next time i see you in the bar Gnome, the beer is on me.
look me up after the FOTP. we will terrorize Tempe.
c-
November 26th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Ha ha ha…this is all sooo incredibly gay!
November 26th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
i think d-town flag is due for some territorial tagging…..pick your side, your color, your paint and sharpie and start marking it out so when my no longer local ass visits i will be able to get the feel of Watts, LA. Stay on your corners, maybe P n T will be nuetral ground.
I say Alpine goest to the locals by default. good rooftop there for voting. Bring back the slices and ditch the tablecloth. and by the way, at least two were born in flag. those twins are probly still around.
November 26th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
the franke boys. yes, still here.
November 26th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
hhhmmmmm.such knowledge wise one, tell me of the old girls ranch or 5 bean salad days…….R.N. rocks your liver!
November 28th, 2008 at 7:41 am
The “Local” tag has always been self-serving and self-righteous. Who the fuck really cares? I’ve lived, skied, ridden in Flag for going on some 15 years or so. Grand Canyon is my backyard. I have so much fun around here there aren’t enough hours in the day. Trails are awesome. When the snow flies, it’s even better. Beers at PnT taste good after any ride, good or bad. But you know what sucks? Show up for the sat. morning group ride, (Thanks again Petey and Paul for the shot of coffee! Zillions times better than starting at LftT.) in order to have more fun, practice some more group discipline, to simply ride with bike buddies and try not to die before the 3rd step, and you knw what? There’s some yokel “local” who won’t say hello, who complains about the cold, disses the guy who’s wearing an Iron Horse jersey, and somehow still thinks he’s better than anyone else because he knew someone way back when. It would be easy to say “Fuck you” at this point, but really, who cares? You care more about your self-image and your ego than you do about the ride. I’ve got news for you. It’s all about the ride. Beers and BarB-Q at the finish of P to the M, PBR pitchers on the Agassiz deck after a tree day, the view from joint-point 2 on Little Bear, the middle 30 miles of a tortorous Taylor House. It’s about the ride. I’m going to go out in the rain, beautiful rain, ride some new AZ trail to somewhere and enjoy the fact that I can ride. I’ll say hello to anyone who’s out there with me, and if you see me at the bar enjoying my brew, say hey!, whatever or nothing, it’s your problem if I don’t look local. I’ve had a good ride. Looking forward to the next one.
November 28th, 2008 at 8:15 am
And Gnome, hey, this is not a hater rant. We don’t even know each other, and I’m looking forward to sharing a beer sometime. I’ve just always been down on the whole ‘local” thing. I have nothing against you, man. Cycling isn’t dead. Floyd got screwed. Lance is stronger than I’ll ever be and more power to him if he makes it back to the podium in Paris. Let’s go for a ride sometime.
November 28th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
As of now, there are thirty-six true, hard, strong, and loyal locals who have pledged never to visit this site again. Our goal is to reach one-hundred by Sunday @5pm. It’s always bad form to devour your base. By posting such negativity and disrespect to the local flagstaff community, many of the above comments have gone too far. Granted, bj already has one foot out of the door; he’s retreated to Kleenix and fronts this operation by proxy. But for you others, shame, shame, shame. Why be so lame to your community? Fuck all, nice way to run a website; offending your local base is a strange approach. DC is dead (at least locally).
November 28th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
amen, make it 37
November 29th, 2008 at 4:52 am
Hey Bud, screw you. WE are Jonny’s community. Don’t let the door hit ya where the dog shoulda bit ya.
November 29th, 2008 at 6:42 am
was riding some tacky phoenix singletrack yesterday and couldn’t help think that there seems to be a lot of hate going on up there in utopia just cause gnome didn’t sign and autograph for some kid in a bar. guess that’s one of the downsides of small town livin’
doubt he knows anything about the local flag bike politics but dc should call their political analyst matt damon to get his expert opinion on the matter. put a camera and a mic in front of him and I’m sure he’ll put his ivy league acting degree to use and make up some crap that sounds informed and concerned. while at it maybe he can pontificate on the economy and enlighten us dumb, overdrawn, gas-guzzlers big jonny is forced to live while he goes to school here
was going to follow with a snide “like we need another lawyer” comment here until I read bj’s thanksgiving post. best of luck bj, don’t agree with you on much other than loving beer and bikes (ain’t that still enough?) but i’m sure you’ll be a helluva a lawyer and it’s good to know you’ll have all our backs out here
November 29th, 2008 at 8:38 am
The best part of this convo is the ip addys on the backend. One dude is full on talking to himself by posting under different names from the same computer… Seriously.
Then you have a guy writing “amen, make it 37″ in response to a comment stating “there are thirty-six true, hard, strong, and loyal [Flagstaff] locals who have pledged never to visit this site again…”
And he writes that response from Mesa…. What’s 160 miles between friends?
View Larger Map
(link to same.)
Nothing like being so loyal to the scene that you don’t even live there.
Man, you cats are too funny. Thanks for the yuks…
November 29th, 2008 at 9:03 am
…nice…a daisy chain of 36+1, striving to reach one hundred by sunday @ 5:00pm…is that because there’s safety in numbers & when ya gotta point fingers, it is all about who else is causing yer problems ???…but let’s put that aside for a minute…
…so lemme see if i’ve got this straight…jonny’s working long hard hours w/ the purpose & intent of not only making life better for his family but helping others within the cycling community who may benefit from legal expertise…
…jonny has a successful blogsite that extends beyond the myopic borders of any “local” scene…ergo, said site just might be utilized for sharing helpful information…but now it’s dead, cuz you say so ???…
…bye-bye…do you clueless fucks really think yer gonna be missed ???…break it down right here on drunkcyclist.com before your self-imposed deadline, mr green…gimme some facts…just what the fuck have you been contributing to jonny’s site that means you deserve to be treated better than anyone else here or is it just about “you” being local & therefore “you” deserve to get some kinda “tribute” because of your personal little coolness factor…
…just fucking wondering, so please clue me in…
…i don’t pretend to speak for big jonny or anyone else on this site so feel free to direct your vitriol at me if you’re not pleased w/ my attitude…the truth is, i don’t give a fuck…
…& any time you wanna bring your pissant, whiny little show to nor-cal & put it on the “local” trails, i doubt you’d find anybody would raise an eyebrow as long as you rode w/ a modicum of civility…
November 29th, 2008 at 9:27 am
whatever dude. me thinks you need to check your science cause it don’t add up. and what the fuck would you call out some guy in Mesa, AZ (complete with address, etc). what’s the point in that? this thing’s got way too personal and out of control. i’d expect a bit more discretion on your behalf, bj. seriously.
November 29th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Wow, Bud. Speaking as an outsider, if your goal is to make the “local’s only” royalty seem like a bunch of petulant crybabies, you are succeeding. Self labeling yourself “true, hard, strong, and loyal locals…” You and elgruppo are the ones making Flagstaff look bad. Way to go copping the Marin/Boulder attitude! At least they’re often friendly in Marin. Actually, I’m sure there are a bunch of cool people in Flagstaff, you and your ilk just aren’t them, and you’ve made Flagstaff look like a very unwelcoming place. Take your football and go home.
November 29th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Bud ~
Yo man, take a look at what’s there before you start typing, ok? I didn’t put up anyone’s street address. The google map is for “Mesa, AZ.” As in the entire city of Mesa.
Mesa is a city of nearly half a million people. Come on, man. I didn’t put anyone’s home address on the site. We’re nowhere near that.
And you’re the dude using five different names! You’re killing me! But, seriously, I’m keeping it in perspective and laughing at it. I hope you are too. We’re a bunch of guys typing on some pill party website. It’s supposed to be funny. And I think it is.
November 29th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Fuckin’ hilarious from where I’m sitting, big guy. Beer?
November 29th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Hi BJ,
I respectfully submit an amicus brief in reference to the locals’ boycott of dcdotcom. Enough is enough.
Audi 5000.
November 29th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
ha ha…i just cracked my first beer and Im not even out of bed yet. To all you fighting flagstaff motha f-ers. I love you all and miss you more. May there be air in your tires and most of all CHEERS!!!
November 29th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
“True, hard, strong, and loyal locals…” Makes me think…
What’s the difference Bud’s mouth and Sarah Palin’s vagina? Retarded things come out of Palin’s vagina only occasionally.
Just a little joke.
November 29th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
you know, i really enjoyed vaccuum man’s nov 28th post. I lived in Flag for 4 years, where i was a total fucking interloper, and was always made to feel so. i think i had one good ride the whole 4 years. and no, i’m not pouting. but that really was the vibe i got. quite frankly, i didn’t enjoy riding there, partially because of the vibe. back here, we’re (and i say we because there is no “locals” bullshit, it’s everyone’s party) about two years from having 100= miles of connected SINGLETRACK, all built to IMBA standard. Some rad, some wicked, some sick, but all of it just fucking fun. i work at a local shop, and get sick of rich fuckers coming up and thinking they deserve blowjob-level service for the pleasure of me working on thier bike that their skills will never approach warranting. But, the thing is, I’m willing to ride with anyone- and that’s just how folks around here are. I’ll take ‘em to my favorite spot and then feed ‘em beers at the local brewhouse when all’s said an done. but, you never know which of those guys you thought was a total jackhole the first time around, actually turns out to be a decent fucking human being. and such it with us humans. and we aren’t cooler up here than you are there. or anyone else anywhere. we don’t have a “scene” and don’t want one. anyone riding bikes, and smilin while they’re doin it, and maybe but not neccesarily having a beer afterward, are livin DC. maybe like being into eminem’s music without feeling like you need to pack heat….
November 29th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Where is this magical “here” of which you speak?
November 30th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Yeah, seriously, sounds like a place I want to check out.
I promise to bring no (bad) attitude but a stocked cooler.
Show me the shining paths and I’ll buy the first round!
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:10 am
I’m from the heart of the Chequamegon (SHA-WA-MA-GUN)National Forest. Think nudie bars with PBR on tap, lots and lots of fishing, colder ‘n hell in winter, and THE Fat Tire Fest. Also think ATV’s, lotsa rednecks, LOTSA fried bar food (chicken strip baskets, cheese curds, breaded mushrooms, FRIDAY NITE FISH FRY). It’s a damn fine place. C’mon by.
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:24 am
Yeah SS! Been there done that! I loves me some cheese curds.
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:51 am
Dayam! Boobies, beer, cheese, and bikes. I don’t know about the cold. Winter hates me. I’ve been in Texas for so long that my blood has gotten thin. Heat? Now we’re talking.