Welcome to Flagstaff

The Floyd Landis Dope Show lands in Flagstaff today.

Totally. Worth. It.

Seems the local cycling populace wants to welcome him with open arms:

From: Hellbelly
Subject: Floyd’s Ride – 4 Words
I couldn’t help myself. Top o’ steps – Lake Mary Road – Friday 4:30 pm. He’s a douchebag.

Have fun on that group ride, Mr. Landis. And thanks for $upporting FBO.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

35 thoughts on “Welcome to Flagstaff

  1. Almost wish i was there to see how he’d react. Almost, but not quite.

    instead i’m working in my office staying away.

    why is it that “douchebag” is the first word that comes to mind? i agree.

  2. Yea, is there anyway that drunkcyclist can claim no association with that shit? I don’t need my house firebombed by A-town and all his repugy friends.

  3. He’s innocent. Think about who the guy actually is. If you did some homework about who is then you might not rush to judgement. Why would someone spend the time and money to clear himself with less to gain? The sport is skeptical from all angles. That doesn’t mean that he is guilty. Call him what you will, I don’t think the evidence is obvious.

  4. Howdy Lou. Welcome to Drunkcyclist.com where nobody walks away with a free prize:

    Landis can be as innocent as Mother Theresa(sp?), and that’s not going to change the fact that the entire sport of professional cycling is tainted with lies and corruption and he was a prime mover within that system.

    Drunkcyclist.com has no sympathy for any convicted doper who has received more money than we will make in our lifetime, from riding a bicycle… regardless of whether they lose it all on strippers, cocaine, anti-depressants, or legal fees.

    Landis must have been avalanched by a massively well coordinated conspiracy theory involving USADA, WADA, the UCI – and USA Cycling – in order for him to lose multiple petitions/appeals to clear his name.

    And if he is innocent, and when it is exposed, we’ll write a savvy apology, and stick it in the mail.

    Until then, he is as corruptible as I am, and therefore guilty either by himself, or by his associations during his cycling career.

  5. Anyways, is low class a bad thing? Cause I kinda like it. Its easier to make a stand for what you believe when your not worried about what class your in. What Class are you Paula? Yeah, flag sucks. The people suck. The riding sucks. Your better off in Phoenix.

  6. Hi Gnome, great response. However, you can’t ignore the fact that the court (WADA and UCI) that convicted him is a bit suspect. In addition, just because he is a pro cyclist doesn’t mean that he’s guilty either. Are you saying that since many others are doping then he must be as well?

  7. He is innocent. Look it up, TrustButVerify.com.
    He is getting seriously fucked by bad labwork and worse politics.
    Don’t confuse an actual innocent man with an actual pervasive problem in the sport. Hate the doping and fear the labs!
    If this happened to you, all presumably clean, what would you do?
    Floyd is getting screwed.

  8. Hey Flagstaff and DC !! Glasgow and Scotland supports your anti doping stance and sentiments. Nice work, but who touched the paint/smoked it or/used it as a suppository or lotion ? Is it tainted/doped/from a bionic goat ? The samples are worthless, out of date, not mine/I drank a couple of beers(we all know French beer contains EPO)/had sex/haven’t had sex in three weeks and I normally dump my mess six times a day/ my balls are like mill-stones here……..? God gave me it ? Does Floyd need a new lawyer ?

  9. What a fucking hypocrite, Johnny. Nice to see you have an Amazon referral link to the Landis book. Even you, the offended and butt-hurt moral prima donna, are looking to profit, no matter how small the amount, from the Landis ordeal. Nice integrity, or lack thereof.

    Now that is class; bash then cash.

  10. Lou: Being “suspect” is not a viable fact unless you want me to be a hypocrite like Andre. I understand your sentiments otherwise.

    Paul: TrustButVerify.com leads me to a domain placeholder site by godaddy. Lend a hand.

    And If it happened to me, I’d fess up first of all, and if I believed I was innocent, I would not direct attention to a faulty media, as the Landis defense has done, as if that is more important than the substance of the issue.

    His entire defense over the years is based on spin management, and no factual evidence to support him.

    And Andre: Your very astute except for the fact that I am the Gnome. Call me a hypocrite, not Jonny (whose name does not contain an “h”) as I am the one with the sweet markieting skills, and to clarify:

    We will indeed make 4% on every sale of the Landis Book. And while we roll around in that pile of cash, we will have provided a very visible location on the web, from which Landis’ book can be promoted. We thought it was only fair to publicize a way for you, and anyone else, to read up on Landis’ side of the issue since all we provide, is the evidence as reported by the media. It only seemed fair.

    yes, Floyd needs a new lawyer like I need a new job.

    Thanks for the props Grumskikorsakov.

    The rest of all ya’ll sound like a bunch of haters.

  11. “no factual evidence to support him” – huh? You must truly be a Gnome, shielded from the real world, open-source information, hampered by small hands and general congnitive ability. Need a job? If turly a Gnome and handicapped like the above, you should have no problem getting good work. There are quotas for that.

    Read up on FL’s federal filing. Big boy court with big boy law, not some sham “star chamber” with every rule/process/procedure stacked against you. Getting depositions fromm guys like Rich Young, Barnett, Tygart, Rivkin, etc. will be highly revealing.

    Hypocrite you are with your crummy link. Donate the funds to USADA if you feel so righteous. If anything, it makes you look conflicted. If you are truly a “hater”, denounce and profit. Prototypical hypocrisy, not quite marketing genius. Shilling as “fair and balanced” is laughable.

    Jonny/Johnny…either way, it spells douchebag to me.

  12. Lou wrote: “Why would someone spend the time and money to clear himself with less to gain?”

    Hello? The Floyd Fairness Fund, not Floyd, funded his defense and, more than likely, his Appeal and his current notice of motion. A Fund established from public contributions promoted by Floyd at a website and at purpose specific gatherings as he criss crossed the country to promote his defense.

    The Fund was public but secret as to contributors and value. There has been no accounting of this Fund to the contributors as to the funds contributed and the drawings against those contributions.

    Floyd will never issue an apology because the Fund was promoted on his pleadings of innocence, conspiracy et al.

  13. Good thing, this little thread. Really dredged up some interesting characters out of the web cesspool.

    Who here really knows the truth? Nobody is my guess. So quit the bitching, finger pointing, “I’m right your wrong” etc. blah…

    (actually, please keep bitching, finger pointing, bringin up skewed arguments etc., it is just way too entertaining!)

    And yes, Flagstaff is a total hellhole. last time I was there I was robbed, beaten, spit upon, shat upon and then used for a parking block. That town is pure evil. There are even (gasp/shudder) highly opinionated people there. Run, don’t walk.

  14. Hey y’all, thanks for the great time!

    After the visit my testosterone ratio is jacked WAY up, something like 8 or 9:1 is my best guess.

    I think someone slipped me a ruffie in my Jack too, my head was killing me the next morning.

    See you next spring!!!

  15. Andre: Thanks for the Compliments.

    Apparently because you linked to your website in your comment, you obviously want to profit from Landis’ demise as well. Tsk, tsk…

    Unfortunately, Landis doesn’t provide any scientific evidence that would show he can replicate the physiological event, or even come close to it. The best response his team has is this, in regards to sample-B:

    …They have also claimed that his high T:E ratio arose from natural causes, and that the IRMS test, that showed exogenous tesosterone, is “unreliable”. However, anti-doping experts such as Christiane Ayotte, director of the anti-doping lab in Montreal, Canada, have strongly defended their testing methods.

    (more here…)

    It does suck for him, and I wish he wasn’t in the pickle he is, and I can think different at the same time. It’s what makes me a rational being similar to you.

    You don’t have to buy the book. It’s ok.

    And thanks for your input nontheless.

  16. Andre and Lou,

    and you too Floyd… Went to the Floyd Fairness Fund deal in Snottsdale, read the book. To act like it is impossible that Floyd cheated is asanine.

    Although I fully agree with the fact that there are some serious flaws in the testing, and especially the LNDD lab, you can’t argue with the fact that synthetic testosterone was found in Floyd’s body. We can argue all day that the ratios were fucked up, but it was there. If it was not in your body, then there are no fucked up ratios. He rolled the dice, lost.

    I still think that mountain stage Floyd won was the most epic I have seen,I want to believe Floyd more than anyone, but I don’t.

  17. Fellas, Floyd got caught. The purpose of the words in chalk were to let people including Floyd know that he embarrassed US Cycling with his actions and that is not cool. I was one of the first 5000 people with a USCF license. I love the sport and have for a long time. I don’t personally know the guys that run or contribute to this site, but do agree with their stance on doping, which is one of the reasons why I visit the site regularly. I do personally know a former US Postal team member who publicly admitted to doping and confirmed the problem in the sport. Speaking of having balls, he has one more ball than the seven-time champion(?). Hellbelly

  18. Hey Gnome,
    The site Paul was talking about is trustbut.com (The name of the blog is trust but verify)

    If you were going 39 in a 40, and the man clocked you going 90, then you showed in court that he had no idea how to use the radar gun, but the court said “sorry bro, he’s a cop, so he must know what he’s doing. We trust him more because ‘everybody speeds'”… would you be a little pissed when they took your license away for two years and told you you had to pay a hundred grand because you were a pain in the ass?

  19. …word, c-fiddy…truth is, if people are willing to believe ol’ floyd might not have been on the up & up, then i daresay they’d be fucking naive to not believe that there may have been a few “behind the scenes” characters willing to manipulate results…

    …french labs were continually fucking up, one way or another…we’ve all seen that info…was it always a mistake or were there a few payoffs as well ???…

    …it does not have to be some big “conspiracy theory” that involves all these different organizations…it could involve a core number of people “at the source” & then any manipulated information passed on “from the source” to wada, uci, aso, usada et al, would be enough to convince them that something was questionable enough to act on…

    …i hear more self righteous bullshit on this site about integrity & blood values & “i know a guy” & “she said this” & “he did that”…every bit of it might be true but until you fucking people admit to yourselves that the serious money, the long green, the euros, the big fucking dollars that are up for grabs in world wide pro-cycling have a serious affect on the actions of every involved organization, it’s like trying to find the result of an X x Y = ??? equation & leaving out the fucking X factor

    …wake the fuck up…cyclists, like any other professional athletes are fodder in the sports entertainment business…they might be “stars” in your eyes, bucko, when you’re standing on the side of the road cheering them on, but they’re just numbers on somebody’s spread sheet & bank account…

    …& ol’ floyd ???…whether he did or didn’t is between him & his god…

  20. Andre~
    Why you gotta call me a butt-hurt moral prima donna?

    Do you think there is a connection between what I write in an opinion piece and advertising income?


    The advertisers don’t matter. The site takes porn dollars. What does that exclude from commentary? Everything?

    What out there in print, online or on television can you read with such a high standard? Any newspaper with a global warming article that ever ran an automobile ad is out. Any television news program about the dangers of drunk driving is out if that same station ever accepted a .30 second spot from Budweiser.

    What the fuck are you talking about? Substance! Content! Issues!

  21. Sausage, I need to correct you – The advertising does matter. We just made .24 cents on our first Landis Book sale.

    Proof positive.

  22. yep, theres the proof, you bastards are now raking in the cash on my book sales while bashing me…where’s the love? But thanks for the promo.

    Little secret – truth is I really didn’t mean to dope, I thought that stuff was aloe gel, maybe it was something else?

  23. Pingback: Leave the dopers alone « bicykel

  24. Why hate-on Hellbelly for calling out a doper? He has every right to and every right not to be one of the homers that think that you have to wave your figgin’ little American flag every time one of “ours” gets popped. O.K., O.K. so Floyd was at the tail-end of the “everybody does it” era so therefore he’s good – that’s Bullshit. O.K., O.K. so proof of his innocence because Floyd spends his own cash defending himself like Tyler Hamilton, Lance and every other American that ever has tested positive – Bullshit. So we need to believe it when a rider pulls-off a “too improbable to believe performance” – a la 2008 Ricco – Bullshit.

    So just like the little kid that keeps believing in the Tooth Fairy, we need to keep the faith that all of “our guys” are innocent and it’s those bad French people that keep doing this them – Bullshit.

    People like Hellbelly have conviction for the sport and those of you who don’t ‘get it’ should maybe re-think those words – conviction for the sport. And that’s why dopers get called-out. It’s the defiant A-holes, their doctors and their lawyers that disrespect the sport, its fans and its future.

    And for all of the pussies that that can’t believe the balls of a guy like Hellbelly, just stand-by and eat the crap you’re fed, waive your little American flags and keep looking under your pillow – the Tooth Fairy may just show-up.