This is Your Nation on White Privilege

Get wise like Tim.

This is Your Nation on White Privilege

For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you’ll “kick their fuckin’ ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office–since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s–while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you’re black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do–like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor–and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college–you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a “light” burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

25 thoughts on “This is Your Nation on White Privilege

  1. Black privilege: Attend a racist fuck church for 20 years, and take a pass on it b/c you’re the next coming of Tiny Baby Jesus, and everyone will get a brand new pony if you’re elected.

    Fuck this McBama shit, no matter what happens, everyone loses on Super Tuesday.

  2. White privilege: Being able to say the words “black privilege” and not getting laughed out of the room.

  3. white privilege means I get to ride bikes drunk at night through parks and pee behind trees and nobody sees anything but a goofy boy on a lifelong lark.

  4. mxracer652~
    You nailed that one, kid. Work the black church angle to you get to the point where it’s no longer opening doors, it is now closing doors. Then distance yourself. Truth be told, same shit happens with folks like Falwell.

    Happy Friday.

  5. Actually, Obama DID distance himself from Wright when he went all fucknuts at theat press conference. Guy married him and his wife, baptized his kids, has known him for over 20 years…

    But NO, what one crazy reverend who is given a platform says, is reflective of ALL the shit encased in the meatbag that is Obama.

    Fucking BULLSHIT.

    What about McCain seeking out the endorsment of Pastor Hagee …”As part of his desperate campaign to cozy up to the right wing of the Republican Party, John McCain sought out and said he was “pleased to have the endorsement of Pastor John Hagee.” McCain’s embrace of Hagee comes despite a history of intolerant comments about Catholics, women, African Americans, Muslims, LGBT Americans and even victims of Hurricane Katrina. When confronted with those comments, McCain has repeatedly refused to denounce Hagee, saying only that “It’s simply not accurate to say that because someone endorses me that I therefore embrace their views.”

    So if a white guy can get an endorsement from a bible-thumper who says shit like…
    “So which Hagee positions does John McCain endorse? His position that Hurricane Katrina was punishment from God because “New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that.” [NPR Fresh Air, 9/18/06] Or his “slave sale” where he announced that participants should “make plans to come and go home with a slave.” [San Antonio Express-News, 3/7/96]”

    or maybe…

    “The San Antonio Express-News reported that Hagee was going to “meet with black religious leaders privately at an unspecified future date to discuss comments he made in his newsletter about a ‘slave sale,’ an East Side minister said Wednesday.” The Express-News reported: “Hagee, pastor of the 16,000-member Cornerstone Church, last week had announced a ‘slave sale’ to raise funds for high school seniors in his church bulletin, ‘The Cluster.’ “The item was introduced with the sentence ‘Slavery in America is returning to Cornerstone” and ended with “Make plans to come and go home with a slave.” [San Antonio Express-News, 3/7/96]”

    Yeah, that isn’t offensive to anyone, right?

    So grab a cupful of STFU and take that inter-tbe-reading thingy a bit farther than Fox News and Freeper Republic.

    White privelege is what we as a nation have been trying to get beyond, and this may well be the last gate. We do this, and he proves himself to be an incredible leader; one who we NEED right now, not someone who could keel over after his VP sneaks out from behind the Oval Office chair and shouts BOO ! Then we are left with a foreign policy based on looking across some water.

    Fucking bullshit.

    Jesus I need a fucking beer.

  6. How i meant to end that was, he does well, and we can finally say “Shit, we are as civilised as we purport ourselves to be.” instead of “Fuckin blow them camel-jockeys to hell and beyond, bubba.”

    If the off chance he does not well… then he has some ‘splainin to do; although never discount the republicans whining the entire time.

    (See mx’s and bullshit posts about how its always the Dem’s fault instead of coming clean and seeing that thr R has been in absolute control since a long while.)

  7. bj-
    I have no reason to keep doors open for white trash rednecks or black liberation theologists. Plus there’s the whole fact that god is santa for adults.

    The fire’s burning and there ain’t shit McBama is going to do about it.

  8. bp-
    You don’t need to remind me that the republicans suck, but do try to keep this focused on Obama. Pen up a “why McBush sucks” post & I’ll be more than happy to contribute to that one too.

    Obama had the opportunity for Change with the farm bill. He voted to hand out $300 billion to big agribusiness. So much for not being in the pocket of special interests, eh? He’s backpedaling immediate Iraq withdrawal. I just don’t get all the enthusiasm. Otherwise rational people just can’t see how crazy the snake handling tent revival is from the outside.

  9. The difference between one 17yo and another having a baby is that if I have to pay for that baby, it’s my business. I don’t think I’m paying for baby Palin.

    You want me to pay for someone’s baby, it’s my business. It’s not black or white, it’s who’s paying.


    Probably not.

  10. It’s far different to be endorsed by someone that to go to someone’s church for 20+ years. The congregation did not act aghast when Rev Wright would go off on one of his psycho rants, then cheered right along with him. The majority of the congregation was right there with Wright, and that was the church Obama went to. It was not one person, it was the whole church.

    20 years > 20 endorsements

  11. “White” privilege is easily replaced with “evangelical” or “conservative Republican” privilege without much loss in meaning…

  12. This whole country is on the slippery slope to Shitsville. Our “leaders” are following the same economic model as Fanny, Freddy, Enron, etc, etc. They are bankrupting the populous while making themselves and their friends filthy rich. They are going to drive this country into the ground and walk away.

    What is the deal with the $700 Billion hand-out to the banks? That money does not exist. It is being tacked on to our already massive national debt. That doesn’t fix the economy, it further devalues the dollar and makes you and I responsible for other peoples poor economic decisions. If the Gov’t really wanted to solve the problem, that money would be used to pay off peoples mortgages. People would get to keep their homes and the banks would still get their money. I don’t support any of it, but if they wanted to “fix” things with that money that’s how they would do it. This a a huge fucking hand out to corrupt banking officials who were already pocketing 100’s of millions a year as CEOs of these organizations. If their companies were doing so poorly why didn’t they take a pay cut to keep them afloat. That’s a what real leaders do.

    This country is fucked and there is nothing that you or I can do about it. It’s part of a greater plan that is out of our hands and it doesn’t fucking matter who’s in office. Obama or McCain? You call that a democracy? Gimme a fuckin’ break….

  13. White benefits also include…getting pulled over intoxicated on a bicycle…searched…only a can of spray paint in my bag…(on my fingers too)…and let go because I wasn’t who they were looking for? Got lucky?

  14. Oh yeah…also…I did fuck up though. I am gay so I did create the hurricane in new orleans. Sorry about that. And sorry about all the f-ing natural disasters everywhere. I am just addicted to boobies like the rest of you. But when I obsess over them It creates this huge global whirl wind made by gods angry hand that destroys cities. My bad…

    If McWeirdo wins this is how we have to think from now on. Start practicing.

  15. Barack Obama is the only intelligent choice. He’s the only one who cares about getting our kids out of Iraq (which we should never have gone to in the first place) before another Vietnam happens. He’s also the only one who really understands how to stop us from mainlining Arabian oil and sending all our money to China. If you want a better America, there’s only one choice. If you vote by the color of a man’s skin rather than the color of his brains, we all will end up with more of this hell we’re living in right now. Vote with your head.