About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

38 thoughts on “Caption This

  1. 1.Now where did I leave my red cruiser?

    2.Honey clifford needs more water. Ah you see I have kids.

  2. I’m tak’n all their bikes, and all of their pools, and their swing sets too. Nobody in this town is going to have ANY fun. NOBODY.

    Moo Haa Haa HA! Moo Hoo HAA ha Haaaa!
    Moo hoo haa haa ha! Ha! HA! HOO, He! oh…


  3. …well, he was a nice quiet guy that kept to himself. We had no idea he was a cannibalistic pedophile…

  4. The sign out front said: “Welcome to Big Jonny’s moving sale!”

    PS: Who stole Pee Wee Herman’s bike and painted it red?

  5. Same old complaint , there’s never enough parking at waynes house for the post ride party.

  6. In the future……….

    April 2016, Phoenix AZ – Here is a photo of the backyard of Big Johnny’s house where police have been receiving complaints. The complaints allege Johnny gets naked, grabs a bike and swims around his pool fondling the bike. Police also note that several bikes in the neighborhood have gone missing. Big Johnny has been in law school for 8 years now and still not graduated, neighbors speculate that law school has pushed him over the edge. His wife was quoted as saying “Yea, before law school he had several bikes and actually rode them on occasion, but after he started law school he developed a strange bike obsession, he collects bikes and does unspeakable things with them, I think the intense pressure of law school is causing his bizarre behavior, I wish he never went back to school, we had a normal life.”

  7. Why all the bikes? Well, they keep breaking. That one there got a stiff link after a week…and that one had a brake cable start to fray…and this one here had the tires go flat…there’s the one with the uncomfortable seat…and I really liked this one. That is, until I found out it was made in China. I mean, really… Nobody makes ’em like they used to…buncha JUNK I tell ya!

  8. “hmmm, should I get to some of those repairs I’ve been meaning to do or, practice my flips from the trampoline into the pool…?”

  9. “What yo lookin’ at mofo? Bikes be my life an shit. Don’t be hatin’ on my bikes, you hear?! Bike hatin aint cool. Sheet!”

  10. 1) Honey! We got a letter from the home owner’s association today.
    2) I think this guy should get to know the guy with the bike grave yard on the side of the highway at Rye.

  11. Dude, check this photo I took of my neighbor’s yard. Further evidence that vindicates my recent purchase of my 29th bike to my wife. That dude has issues!

  12. As much as I like new bikes, the bikes that I have a strange attachment to are the ones that I have owned for years but no longer really ride that much

  13. “We are catholic, married when we were 12, start with hormonal therapy after our third set of quintuplets, and here we are 35 year later… life is good”

  14. Deputies arrested Jennel Gehrke for the crime. She’s accused of driving drunk and leaving the scene. Police found her at her home