And so I rode…

I rode a bicycle on Sunday. For an hour. I choose the Surly Steamroller to be the first bike I built up out of the box. And boxes there are several.

I went with the Surly a) I like her a great deal and b) because fixed gear bikes are pretty god damn simple. Put the front wheel on. Install the stem. Insert the seat post. Air up the tires.

The harder part was finding a water bottle, my road shoes, a helmet, sunglasses, repair kit (pump was already mounted under top tube), cycling jersey and shorts that still fit. I am festively plump after all.

One hour.

It was fun.

I think for the next ride (most likely in another week’s time) I’ll dig out the Fondriest. Or, as I like to call her, the Italian Stallion.

How can a stallion be female, you ask? I’ll answer that with another question: How can a bicycle be a horse in the first place? Once we start talking nonsense, don’t expect any of it to start making sense.

I mean, that’d be just crazy.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

18 thoughts on “And so I rode…

  1. If it makes you feel better about riding “her”, that’s all that matters. I don’t know how you feel about ridin’ an “Italian Stallion” though, I guess if your more endowed than the “Stallion”, then what the fuck ever, I won’t judge.

  2. …ya know, big jonny…i think gnome just may have made a point there, if you will…

    …hard to deny irrefutable proof like that…

    …but then again, a name is just a name…

  3. …non sequitur…but consider this non-micheal phelps olympic news…

    “For the second straight Olympics, American Matt Emmons (50 meter rifle) lost the gold on the final shot. Emmons’ gun went off before he focused on the target.

    …god, i hate when that happens…especially when i’m tryin’ to impress a chick…

  4. One of the (weird – sick – evil) joys of working your ass off, disappearing behind the moon, and generally not riding, loosing one’s strong legs, is the green glow of joy that comes from returning to the saddle.
    (fuck where is the lock, and can’t I at least get a pair of gloves that match? half my kit is enuf..go)
    You don’t quite start all over again, but almost.
    And slowly, miles, cadence, skill, and maybe some speed come back.
    And Pain.
    Started back into some some shit after work had become Kafka in a spreadsheet…
    Toxins seem to flush out through my hands and feet, blisters appear in my sleep.

    Mr Johnny Gigante, consult your local specialist, but you may have..
    too many bikes disease.

  5. There is no such disease. Don’t listen to him.

    What you have is ‘Too Little Time Syndrome’. TLTS isn’t usually fatal, but it can be deadly irritating and ungodly annoying.

  6. And ain’t life sweet when you’re on a bike……

    BTW – Who won all the cycling medals ? (Well nearly all of them……)Oh yeah, that would be us, whom George Smiley used to call, ‘the other side of the special relationship……’

    Don’t mean to brag or anything……;-)

    Chris Hoy for God Status !!!!

    A really nice guy, but I wouldn’t want to be between him and the line…..

  7. one time i was riding an italian stallion named husky. he saw what a great time i was having and asked me for 5 bucks. i said to myself, “man, that’s cool. i’ve got 6, i’m having a blast, and husky is rad. win-win-win sitcho.”

    anyways. i need to find something to do until this hangover goes away. right now i’d be hard-pressed to believe you if you told me that there is not a saltwater aquarium in my skull.

    My Dumb Blog

  8. Since butthead mentioned him I gotta ask…whats the general consensus on Phelps? Doper or no?

  9. god i hope not. same for usain bolt. the 100m was the sickest thing i’ve ever seen on a track…dude just waved at the crowd and still set the world record.

  10. Haha Gnome…fueled by Rotten Ronnies…I read somewhere that guy pretty much eats a grocery store worth of food every day.

  11. …re: the italian stallion…well, it IS a “fixed gear” bike…

    …just sayin’…

  12. Who the hell is this Phelps character? What event did he ride? I assume he made the break or something? I don’t see a word about him on

    I actually SOLD a bike today… that $500 will go straight into the kitty for my new mountain bike… soon as I can ‘splain to the wife why I need a low-mass hardtail around here. But dear, it’s for CROSS COUNTRY!