Eight the hard way

One time out on the road, a few years ago, when I actually rode a bike more than once every two weeks (yeah, it’s that bad), my man Philly told me “Take it easy on me. I’m an old man” or some shit like that.

I looked at him and said something along the lines of – you aren’t that much older than me.

He said, “You ain’t eight the hard way.”

And he was right. So I shifted up a gear.

I thought that might be a fitting little story for today, the eighth day of the eighth month in the year two thousand and eight.

Watch out for boys born today at 8:08am. They’ll only grow up to be blues players.

I’m not yet 44, but at I do have an eight in there somewhere. And it ain’t 28. Whatever. You’ll figure it out. Bottom line, this year is full of big changes. I’ve relocated to Phoenix, a town I never really thought I’d move back to.

That’s what I get for thinking.

We sold our house in Flagstaff, that lovely little hippy dippy mountain town where it snowed in May. And then we bought a house down in Phoenix, that massive metropolis where it is currently well over one hundred degrees.

Good thing I got a pool.

My wife and I quit our jobs, said goodbye to our friends and just did it. She starts her new gig in another week or so. Me? I’m going back to school. I start in a week or so. I’m going to study law.

Go figure.

Funny thing about getting the living shit knocked out of you by a car – it gives you a lot of time to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling, and take an inventory of your life. Why haven’t I gone back to school? Maybe a desk job isn’t so bad after all? Sit there and move paper around? Paper doesn’t weigh very much.

And so it goes.

Gnome is taking over the administrative duties for Drunkcyclist as I’m soon to be so busy I won’t know up from down. I hope to be able to contribute to the site, write funny stories and piss people off. Basically what I’ve been doing for much of the last eight years.

What’d ya know, another eight. Shit’ll freak you out if you let it.

Link Dump:

[succinct] aon-kjt.blogspot.com
[freaks my shit out] bostondynamics.com
[represent] cw2.trb.com
[karma] thingunderthebed.blogspot.com
[ghost and rae] pitchfork.tv/live/pitchfork-music-festival

And now, the email:

From: mitch
Subject: [from DC]
Seriously, what is this shit? Is there even such a thing as “too fit” to be anything?

Maybe we, as a country, would feel less ashamed of our individual selves if we had a sloth for pres. Or just maybe, we as a country, would be empowered by somebody who gives a shit. What are they getting at?

Or maybe, we shouldn’t ask too much of a prospective leader. Am I the only one that contemplates this crap? Should I even need to? Is it that tough of a concept?

Modern media outlets can lick my balls. And not because it’s Obama they are scrutinizing – because it’s time they start empowering the general public. Whose fucking team is the media on anyway? Who are they trying to impress? They’re like the new kid in town that will talk shit about anybody they can to gain notoriety.
online.wsj.com

You gotta love it when someone asks, in all seriousness, “could Sen. Obama’s skinniness be a liability?”

Yeah. He doesn’t eat enough fucking cheese balls.

I ran both these as links in a post a year ago. But they’re so tight, I just gotta link ‘em again for your listening pleasure.

My Favourite Dj Premier Beats (Part I)

My Favourite Dj Premier Beats (Part II)

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

15 thoughts on “Eight the hard way

  1. (sob…) i have a daughter. the only daughter that i have…as far as i know. talk about auspicious dates? today…on a friday.. she turned thirteen. on 8/8/08. in the last 12 months we have seen the arrival of earrings, a cell phone, and the boob fairy. “boyfriends” showed up shortly thereafter.

    dear god… help me….

    as far as your law gig goes? and your recent relocation?

    i say good on ya. change is fun and while i am a scofflaw, a derelict, and a slacker by nature, something about the profession of law always appealed to me. maybe it’s my obstinate, argumentative nature. so good on ya big man.

    cheers…. and welcome to hell…

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  3. Jonny,

    I too left Flagstaff about a month ago in the hopes of starting anew in Portland, Maine…As it turns out, I am going to Mexico for four months before returning to Flagtard to also do the grad school thing…and I, too, pondered law. Let me know how it goes…you never know, I might still do it.

    Funny, I kinda miss that hippy dippy town.

    Good luck in Satan’s asshole–I mean, Phoenix. Sounds like you’ve got yourself a decent plan there.

    D2

  4. Hey jonny! Guys who have lived their lives and then go back to law school makes the best lawyers. They know what life is about. Of course getting the holy crap knocked out of you will teach a few things too. Good luck!

  5. Best of luck to you Jonny! I don’t quite know how you could leave Flagstaff for Phoenix, but it sounds like you have a plan. I also went back to school after getting my life readjusted by a 72 Olds. Best decision I’ve made in a long time. Stay on the critical path. School’s actually a lot easier coming back older, IMO. Alcohol is now a tool, not a distraction….

  6. Let’s see: Bike shop life, then law school . . . sounds very familiar — I did the same thing about 14 years ago. So welcome to the dark side, Juan Grande. You may find that in some ways lawyering is a lot like wrenching. Especially if you choose a client-counseling practice rather than a litigation practice. Anyway, if the stars align you may hook up with an outfit that encourages or at least tolerates lawyers who ride their bikes to work. Maybe they’ll even provide showers.

    Good luck down there in the heat. Brave move.

  7. Juan-Taco,

    Well I have been a reader of yours for probably about as long as you’ve been putting out the porno-bike drivel and stories of drunken antics. I’ve also learned a shitload from your blog. I even wrote to you a few times in the early days of this two-wheeled techno-juggernaut.

    I learned about Jim Kunstler, over at Clusterfuck nation, from you & this site.

    With that understanding, I cannot fathom, for the life of me, how you would choose to move to PHX, the bowels of oil-dependent hell. The only possible scenario that seems reasonable to me is that you think that the oil-based economy has got at least a 2 year window of sustainability, allowing you time to slip into PHX, get the law degree, and get the fuck out. I hope you are right. Good luck to you, Big Jonny, and bes wishes. If you are wrong, and the whole shithouse goes up in flames before then, I hope you’ve got an alternative plan… a set of ‘other arrangements,’ as Kunstler says. Either way, thanks for the years of hilaritude, and just general ‘tude.’ It has brightened my day on many, many occasions.

    Adios, Vaia Con Dios

  8. all the best jonny boy

    now considering the fact that we ride the same frame size, how about that yellow Fondriest?

  9. Law is an adversarial profession, law school will be fun but I gotta think its practice will be a shit way to earn a living… but its always good to have a plan… plan on a few beers with that LSAT review book..

  10. I had the displeasure of spending 3 days in PHX for business last week. Coming down from Flagstaff, the best weather in the country in August, I was relieved to find a bar that could help me drown the pain of my stay. Papago Brewery on Scottsdale Rd. / Mcdowell. It’s a combination of Pay N’ Take and the old Mogollon Brewery. 28 gracious beers on tap. Pinch me, I wasn’t in PHX anymore.