Bran Muffins

Bran Muffins

She made bran muffins
a whole tray
they looked delicious.
Wouldn’t let us have even one.
She ate the whole tray herself.

Then
later
as expected
she was struggling
in the hall bath
just her
a plunger
and her shame
as she attempted
to force down
what those bran muffins
forced out.

We stood in the hallway
and laughed
Barry and I
as she raged
against a mountain of shit.

Served her right.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

12 thoughts on “Bran Muffins

  1. Double espresso and an unfiltered Lucky Strike does the same for me. Or did, since I no longer smoke.

    I still have moments when I look back or down and think, “There’s GOT to be more in there…”

  2. Pingback: POEMS, POETS, RHYMES AND POETRY » Blog Archive » Bran Muffins

  3. Eh….fiber is over rated.

    All I need is the hotcakes and sausage from McDonalds and I’m shitting out stuff I ate 3 years earlier.

    Good too clean out the pipes now and then.

  4. My wife clogs up the damned toilet with her monster bran shits too. Last time the whole fucking shit load came up the fucking drain pipe, still in the shape of the fucking drain pipe. I had a fucking shit tube in my toilet that wouldn’t be dominated except by a wooden spoon and some elbow grease. That spoon went immediately to the land fill.
    Fuck that’s gross.

  5. PS… How do you get your wife to plunge her own shit? I’m a sucka.

  6. I am laughing so hard at scaredformmykids whose wide makes him plunge her shit out of the toilet, OMG, I would never ask my partner to do that. I’d be too embarressed.