So, this thing called the “Tour” started…

Valverde won the opening stage in fine form. On one of the ugliest bicycles I have ever seen in my life. But, he’ll still look damn good in yellow.

I mean, who doesn’t look good in yellow?

In case you require a quick brush up on just what the hell Phil and Paul are talking about, here is a link to the Tour lexicon explained from the fine folks at Cyclingnews. You can thank them later. I know I will.

O’Grady, ahem, foams a rant. And I find my self nodding in agreement. Does that make us gay or just really good friends?

On second thought, don’t answer that. Some things are better left unsaid. Or, in my case, unheard.

Oh my:

For the third consecutive year, the race will start without the man who finished first the year before. Seven-time winner Lance Armstrong retired in 2005, and the former lieutenant who succeeded him, Floyd Landis, had his 2006 title stripped after a doping conviction. The 2007 winner, Alberto Contador of Spain, is absent because his entire Astana team was excluded.
Read more: sports.espn.go.com

A new beginning eh? Good luck with that.

And then you have this:

From: Mark
Subject: Riis is still champ!!?
I’m backing it but it really confuses me on how they’re desision making process works.
cyclingnews.com

Riis = hero and all that, but damn. He was as doped as anyone could ever be. He’s the fucking poster child for doped cyclists.

And his Tour win stands.

I have no idea…
Update: More info including pictures of what really may be the ugliest bike on the planet over at Velonews.com outside of some hipsters shitbag fixie immortalized on Bike Snob NYC.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

9 thoughts on “So, this thing called the “Tour” started…

  1. Re: Riis. At this point we need to assume that everyone in the 90s was doped to the gills. Sure Riis was too, but at least he had the stones to man up to it. Moreover, he’s at least trying to change things now by running a team with an aggressive control system. The other champs from that era (late-90s, early 00s) just tucked tail when they couldn’t make a dime.

  2. When I saw Valverde’s bike, I thought “Ketchup and Mustard Express”. John Kerry should buy one for Theresa, and take her for a ride.

  3. When you’re an intemse mother fucker like Riis you get things done, right or wrong. He’s Machevillian. Another Expresso please….

  4. Mr. 60% was a card carrying bad ass. Doped to the gills, he got out at a good time and played an “I’m dumb” card to carry support. Before governing bodies knew they had to choose sides. Now that he’s in middle management, and particularly good at it, he’s golden just like Bryuneel, Hinault, and all the others who are incorporated. They all play dumb now, but all of them who competed, doped.

    Doping isn’t an issue for the pro peloton. It’s an issue for everyone else.

  5. I for one loved the bike! The Autozone commercial where the kid talks smack about his bike when he gets some shitcan up and running was classic Versus programming.

  6. didn’t pedro delgado dope to win his tour? why do they not exclude him?