I’ve been riding my bike to work now for a few weeks. Might not seem like much to you hard ass mile eater types, but to me it’s everything. Kinda feeling good about it.
A lot better than when I wasn’t able to ride much at all.
Gnomies been at me to get out there and ride with him. It’ll happen, I’m sure, sooner or later. Him and I both have children now, so our time isn’t as, well, available as it once was. Gone are the glory days when we “borrowed” his redneck brother’s motor home and did every group ride in Tucson for a month and a half one winter.
Oh, the times we had.
Let’s lead in with some email. Nothing says Friday like Email. That and ice cold cans of Tecate. But that comes later.
From: Dr. Jon
Subject: Big Jonny, post this on your blog. Its time to roll with the Dark Lord in Utah
In a world of concept bicycle stores, bicycle manufactures that run their outfits like a mafia
operation…and dental offices with plasma screen tv’s with Wii’s that charge $1400 a crown – This is how we keep it real in Utah…to add balance to the reddest state on the planet.
The Dharma Wheels Cyclery. Give me a shout on your site baby. We’re selling VooDoo…because I like
Johnny and BTI.
complete with the angry owner blog, where you will find a story about my team member puking on his lawn last night after a party. Check out what we’ve been up to. Our dental office/bike shop is meant to be a large middle finger sticking up straight behind the Zion Curtain.
And I still have my Ted Nugent outfit.
Keep it real in AZ for me,
PS, great job on the mustache bash. Here is my entry – sorry it isn’t furry…too much indian.
You did good, even with the Indian in ya. Or in her. Or whatever.
Well, there you have it folks – your one place for bike parts and dentristy when stuck behind the Zion Curtain. If any of you are wondering about the Nuge reference – take a look here.
Bring booze. Dr. Jon likes the sauce.
Subject: H2’s days are numbered
This is from all over the web:
Can’t say I’ll miss that trainwreck of self endulgance, small man syndrome and penis envy out on the roadway. To own it is to shame yourself and your family. I don’t care if it’s 2014 or 15, it’s going bye bye with the dream of $1.07 gallons of regular.
Nice knowing you. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.
Subject: FYI: Incident at PHX Alleycat
Thought y’alls might be interested if ya haven’t seen this yet, whether it
be for support or mockery…
I’ll take mockery for two hundred, Alex.
How come I know a guy who has put on underground mountain bike races for a decade (yeah, ten years) and he has had zero problems? What is it with these fixie kids? Yo, have your checkpoint – meet spot somewhere cool, like a bridge underpass, vacant lot or business that is down. Don’t go anywhere near renta-cops and hospitals. Just steer clear of all that shit, keep it on the down low. Think submarine – way underwater where no one even knows you’re there. That’s what you’re looking for.
Today’s stupid joke:
A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband’s lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop.
One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned the crotchless undies, and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the television, and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm.
“Want some of this?” she purred.
“Are you kidding?” he replied. “Look what it did to your underwear
[oh my] goodnightbush.com
[scottsdale bars] theedge1039.com
[the stitch n’ bitch club] youtube.com
[the first rule of fight club] andiamnotlying.com
[scientific study evaluates penis size of cyclists] youtube.com
[drinking and cycling in Austin shouldn’t mix] statesman.com
That’s about enough for one post. I’m out for the weekend, kids. Keep the rubber side down.by