If you always get up late…

…you’ll never be on time.

We baptized our daughter yesterday. Being an Atheist, I’m not entirely sure where I stand on it. Raised Catholic, I can’t see much harm in it. Family pressure being family pressure, I guess I cannot resist. The reed which does not bend to the wind will be broken.

And I hate to even call it “pressure”. More like it “made my mother really happy”.

And sometimes that’s just enough in the end, isn’t it?

First up, someone sent me a like to sexypolitics.com. I haven’t spent the time to get farther than her glasses coming off. So exciting.

As if that wasn’t uplifting enough, try the FAIL blog on for size. Now you’ll be looking to stick your head in a gas oven for sure.

And lewdness now taught by porn-loving caretakers in Pima County.

Domenic’s has a myspace page. Really. I’m not kidding. -> myspace.com/domenicscycling. Will wonders ever cease? Not fucking likely.

Bill O’Reilly meltdown remix:

And one with Angry Producer dialogue added. I only wish this was how it went down.

At least I don’t have this guys job:

I wonder, sometimes, at the conclusion of a course, when I fail nine out of 15 students, whether the college will send me a note either (1) informing me of a serious bottleneck in the march toward commencement and demanding that I pass more students, or (2) commending me on my fiscal ingenuity—my high failure rate forces students to pay for classes two or three times over.

What actually happens is that nothing happens. I feel no pressure from the colleges in either direction. My department chairpersons, on those rare occasions when I see them, are friendly, even warm. They don’t mention all those students who have failed my courses, and I don’t bring them up. There seems, as is often the case in colleges, to be a huge gulf between academia and reality. No one is thinking about the larger implications, let alone the morality, of admitting so many students to classes they cannot possibly pass. Read more: theatlantic.com

I’ve thought about this one I bit since I first read the article. The question is not whether your students were ready for college level courses when they enrolled in English 101 – rather, the question is, are they ready now that you have been their instructor for a semester.

And that, sir, is on you.

The fact that you commonly, and unapologetically, fail half your students (you do not give them a C or D, you give them an F) speaks volumes to this point. What the hell are you doing at the helm for 16 weeks? Aside, of course, from lamenting your students marked lack of schemata.

They are but empty vessels waiting to be filled with knowledge. Turn on the tap. You might surprise yourself.

Not exactly current news (the article is from April 24th) but ya’ll ain’t here for current events: looks like people might be changing the EPO molecule around to avoid detection. And, after what BALCO was up to, I have no problem believing its entirely possible something like this could be happening.

A French medical adviser facing prison time for inciting cyclists to cheat with drugs says efforts to fight doping are a hoax, and that the market for banned products is in full expansion. Bernard Sainz said in an interview published Thursday that he hoped authorities would crack down on the real culprits saying drug labs are now producing new versions of the oxygen booster EPO without facing prosecution. Read more: pr-inside.com

Sainz talking about the “real culprits” is like OJ looking for the real killers of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman – a bunch of horseshit.

If you want to see what doped cycling looked like in the 90′s, watch some videos of Sainz’s boys in action. And then wonder how they ever got beat by supposedly “clean” riders.

I’ll end it with this guy who calls himself Johnny Heartless.

Johnny Heartless needs to check his math. I was coming in at more like two bills, not a buck o’five, back when I got tapped. I got hurt pretty bad, sure, but I lived. They guy that hit me got five years in jail. That’s where he is now. In jail. And his family is here in town without ‘em. Wife, kid, here without him.

Who “lost really bad” on that one, Johnny Heartless? You ready to do five years for knocking somebody up? Is it worth it?

I hope I never meet you.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

16 thoughts on “If you always get up late…

  1. Being an Athiest, you should where you stand, i.e. Non Belief in an imaginary person that rules the world, and now it gonna control youre daughter..And…Dominics shut its doors, last month….its Now Dominics Two wheelers, and its based out old the old Bicycle Wheelers…Last time I was in town to say Hey to Judy, and its a whole new shop…But Donkey Dick is still throwing it around…anyways….

  2. …i’d say for a guy w/ his foot in his mouth & his head up his ass, that ol’ ‘johnny heartless’ articulates his thoughts quite clearly…

    …therefor i certainly hope he meets his cycling counterpart, someone willing to show him just how unfunny that kinda talk really is…

  3. What the hell? Consider it insurance. If there isn’t a God, He doesn’t give a shit whether your daughter is baptized or not. If there is, well, He might just dig it, lay a little rapture on your ass.

    If it makes your mom happy, who cares? She ain’t gonna be around forever and you should cut her some slack as long as it doesn’t involve voting Republicunt. My mom was a Presbyterian and a Donk, dad was a ring-kisser and an Elefink, they spent their lives canceling out each other’s votes, and they’re both dead.

    Neither has come back to give me The Word. Could be because I’m not baptized. Could be because I’m an atheist. Or maybe they just think I’m a dick and figure one lifetime’s worth of annoyance is enough.

  4. College ain’t the place for everybody feel good no child left behind bullshit. You either get it or you don’t. Stupid kids will still be stupid at the end of the day. -mxracer652 the mechanical engineer.

  5. I did the general quiz with Rebecca in the Yari Boutique outfit.

    In real life taking off shoes counts. But not rolling down (but not off!) your brown skirt and unbuttoning a sweatershirt. And the jewelery was quetionable too. 10 questions later when it is time to lose the top some pale douchebag in a black shirt comes in sweeps her away.

    155,374. There were multiple Ron Paul questions.

  6. The fact that Professor X is an adjunct teaching English 101 just shows what kind of dirty business higher ed is turning into. That small private college probably hired him just get their student/faculty ratio down for a fraction of the cost of a tenure track prof, because it’s one of the few numbers that goes into the US News ranking. Someone with an actual career stake in what they’re doing would pull these students aside after the middterm and explain the limits of grading discretion.

  7. Blonde hippiechick for me…thankfully she shaved, tho!

    As for Mr. Heartless…WOW. All ya gotta do is save that one to your computer and make sure you make it available to the authorities when he DOES do as he professes. Can you say “premeditation?”

    And although technically you should turn the other cheek when dealing with assholes like that, a certain part of me feels obligated to let him know that I’m a blackbelt that drives a TWO-and-a-half-ton truck, so he should get his fat, smoking, heart-attack-waiting-to-happen ass out of my way.

  8. Just wait until Johnny Heartless can no longer afford to put gas into his “one and a half ton truck” and tries to turn the pedal on his banana seat bicycle. Yeah all of those years smoking should really help him…and if he can afford to gas up, just keep on smoking…that will cure what ails you.

    assclown

  9. Johnny heartless rocks. Man, I work with guy that says shit just like that. We never say anything to him as we watch him eat is lunch that has been sitting in the fridg’ all day……. unguarded.

    We just try not to snicker.

  10. Let’s not ignore the tremendous amount of personal courage it took for Bill O’Reilly to put his self-loathing out there for the world to see.

  11. I am one of the many that ride 40+ hours a week in the busy streets of Manhattan. There are many daily encounters with clones of Johnny Heartless. They are all tough around their buddies and heavy on the horns, but when faced with U-lock justice, they mouse up and squeak away.

  12. BTW – Good work on the thought provoking post!

    I applaud the adjunct teacher, but feel that he’s not really teaching, only grading. He is quickly assessing that his pupils are not really capable, and instead of leading them in the correct direction, he is merely telling them that they are not, in fact, capable of the direction in which they are headed. He views his role as not of that of a teacher, or instructor, but more of one whose role it is to judge, and his literature reflects his tone, and the highroad that he takes. He feels as though the teaching should already have been done, that these students of his are there more to be refined and graded then to be prepared. Unfortunately, his own schooling was probably at the hands of a private school and not one of the many failing public school systems. His inability to understand for himself the same lessons he wishes upon public servants reflects a lack of appreciation for his own public place. We need college and continuing education not to be above the rest of the world, but only to compete. We are no longer capable of instilling basic educational qualities in most public school systems, and jucos and community colleges are where most students who want to learn go, the rest find themselves in the service industry or in the service of their country. Or better yet, riding a bike in the European peloton. There are plenty of areas in which the un-educated reside. There are few with college degrees that are in the elite level of any athletic field; they are the exception, not the rule. It is a single, silent, solitary war that this professor is fighting, and one where he should be victorious. He is carrying a flag that others refuse to burden. He is not wrong, although his method is unsound. Unsound… remember Apocalypse Now? It wasnt that Kurtz was losing the war, nor were his targets incorrect or his intentions wrong – his methods by which he waged war were unsound. This is the same for our adjunct.

    Johnny Heartless will soon be Johnny with a dick in his ass. Hit one of us and its manslaughter, perhaps even second degree murder (if ever the authorities get their shit together). His utter disregard for human life is evident in his cancer creating habit, and we would be blessed should some would-be thief gun him down while he is waiting to buy his pack of smokes at the stop and rob at the corner. The thief would only be doing him a favor anyway – his life having been shortened to avoid the harsh onset of lung cancer. And if we’re really lucky, perhaps another cyclist (and his/her family) is saved from the damaging experience of a driver of ill-repute and 1 1/2 tons of cold metal. You never know, the taking of his life could actually save half a dozen or even a dozen or two taking into account his second hand smoke.

  13. and even worse are the scumbags who’re still not finished with their PhD, but are given numerous classes to instruct and are so high off the ground up in their ivory fucking tower they can’t even see earth anymore

  14. Is the Johnny Heartless thing like a reflexive art piece, or is that guy really that big of a nut? Shitfucks like that don’t have the stones to step out of the protection of their truck to confront a cyclist face to face.