Thursday’s Poem – This cow eats cash

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This cow eats cash

We couldn’t figure out our phone bill.
long distance calls remained unclaimed every month.
No one would say, “That was mine.”
And just pay for it,
like a man

So one night
when we were all sitting around
arguing about how to pay the fucking phone bill,
I picked up the phone,
looked up one of the numbers that showed up three or four times last month
and dialed it.

I asked the woman who answered if she knew anyone in Flagstaff.

She said yes, her nephew lived there.

I handed him the phone and told him someone wanted to talk to him.

I don’t think he much liked me after that.

When he shot his elk he made sure I never got a taste. I heard him say something to that effect once, some game he was playing. But when I walked in the room and asked him about it he brushed it off like I had been mistaken.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that was ok. I needed him to pay his bills, not feed me elk meat.

This cow eats cash.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

4 Replies to “Thursday’s Poem – This cow eats cash”

  1. Brilliant! I had a roomie like that once…ONCE! I lived by myself for the next 10 years. No arguing about bills…noise…whose dog shit in the front yard…

  2. …not only funny but a double “touche'” even…

    …& most of us have been there, on one side or the other when we were younger…