I can’t believe the “re-name big gay randy” thing was back in 2001.
Man, we’re getting old.
It seems Randy is sick and tired of being called “big gay randy”. He wants a better nickname. I think he believes the “big gay” thing is driving potential dates away. I’m pretty sure that has absolutely nothing to do with it, but I’ll humor the poor bastard.
From now on Randy is to be known as, or by, one of the following “I’m a pussy and don’t like my nickname” new and improved aliases:
1) Incredibly Masculine Randy – Speaks for itself really. Like a Viking God, he is.
2) Big Dick Randy – Another crowd favorite for sure. But, it still leaves the door open on the whole gay thing. Does he have a big dick, or does he crave big dick. Could pose problems.
3) Irresistible Bottle of Pure Unadulterated Machismo Randy – As good as that may sound, there is no way in hell I’m going to get into the habit of typing that on a regular basis. Sorry.
4) Never Been Ass-Banged Randy – Maybe the funniest of the bunch, but I don’t think he’s gonna like this one so much.
5) All Man Randy – I like this one, simple, concise and to the point. However, if used commonly All-MANdy is a much better alternative.
6) Irresistible Lady Killer Randy – Tell it like it is, buddy. Or, tell it like you’d like it to be. Whatever.
See it in the archives: drunkcyclist.com/archive/2001_may.htm
And be warned – the archives are a fucking trainwreck.by