A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler.
The little boy asked, “Grandpa, can I have a beer?
Grandpa replied “Can your pecker touch your ass?
The little boy answered, “No Grandpa, It’s just a little pecker!”
Grandpa said, Then you’re not man enough to have a beer.
A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar. The little boy asked, “Grandpa, can I have a cigar?”
Once again, Grandpa asked, “Can your pecker touch your ass?” The little boy answered “no,”again.
Grandpa said, “Then your not man enough to have a cigar.” A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and milk. Grandpa asked, “Can I have a cookie?”
The boy asked, “Can your pecker touch your ass?” Grandpa replied, Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!”
The boy replied, Then go fuck yourself! Grandma made these for me.”