Another not really a poem post. Sue me.

A few thoughts that occurred to me as I was throwing up this evening regarding former President Bill Clinton: If Bill Clinton had only somehow been able to keep his backwater hand’s off every piece of desperate ass that crossed his path while he was in Washington, he could have been stumping for Al Gore eight years ago like he’s stumping for his wife now. Back then, he was damaged goods. Poor Al couldn’t stand to share the stage with ‘em. Might be photographed together. Or worse – give the appearance that Bill what actually endorsing Al Gore. And as such, he helped George Bush into the Presidency, the man who promised to restore honor and dignity to the White House (read: I won’t fuck any fat interns). I believe he is as responsible for the current abomination which is BushCo every bit as much as that ticket splitting retard Ralph Nader is.

And both the son’s a bitches are incapable of admitting the truth. Even to themselves. I hope it keeps them up at night when they think of all the damage Bush / Cheney / Rumsfeld / Roberts / et al have borne unto us. They fucked us. And hard too. Thanks for that, appreciate it, really.

So now, instead of sitting in his Harlem office trolling for college coeds like the spooky aging hill billy Lothario he is at heart, he’s knocking the likes of Barrack Obama around and talking about how he’ll help his wife out when she’s President.

Bill, baby, you get two shots at the Presidency in this country. You had your two. Move to France. Get fat. Grow a beard. Win the Nobel Peace Prize. Get over your fucking self. Seriously. I want you back at the helm as much as I want full blown AIDS.

Or, coincidentally, as much as I want to throw up again. Man, this alternating between sitting and standing, giving the porcelain both ends of my own personal Chuck Norris is really something. You should try it sometime. I think I just found God…

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

14 thoughts on “Another not really a poem post. Sue me.

  1. “that ticket splitting retard Ralph Nader is.”

    Big Jonny, et al-

    Hey, I voted for Ralph, and was glad to see my vote split, just like I voted for the mad billionaire that came before him. The dempublicans and repmocrats just don’t do much for me, except get my ass into jury duty every two years for being registered. (I report on 2/19; I plan to ride my bike.)

    “talking about how he’ll help his wife out when she’s President.”

    Man, I would. Hillary is really pretty hott. I need to write her mash letter. Do you suppose she has any free time when she gets up this a way?

    Mikey

  2. This one is for Sorelegs ;). With as fucked up as this country is both internally (sub-prime fun) and externally (Iran/Iraq/Afghanistan et.al), I really doubt you are going to see much of W or Cheney on the campaign path.

    And yeah BJ, they both fucked us…Bill was just better at the reach-around.

  3. “Bill was just better at the reach-around.”

    Clintons success was all timing.

    The way the economy grew back in the 90′s with all the dot.com/Y2K craziness…..a poorly trained seal could have sat in the oval office and it would have turned out the same.

    Well….except the seal would have fucked better looking interns.

  4. I’m not so much mad at Nader, as I am at the many more Democrats that voted for Bush. I recall hearing that it was about 12% according to the exit polls. Nader got 2-3% of the vote. Fuck them!

  5. Great Rant big jonny. I am right there with ya. I want hillary in the whtiehouse like I want a hole in the head. That said, I’ll vote for her over any of the Republicans. Nader should stick to activisim.

    Sommer– I heard that W has been buying up land in Urugay. I think he is planning on spending the rest of his life (post whitehouse) avoiding war crimes trials. Cheney will be checking in to the secure-undisclosed hilton. Remember Rummy almost got picked up in France last fall on a warrant for war crimes. He had to leave the country real quick like.
    Time wounds all heals.

  6. It’s always made me a little crazy that Nader and followers make a lot of the fact that Nader was more the straw that broke the camel’s back in the 2000 election, than the source of most of the Democrats’ problems. Sometimes circumstances work out so that the actions of one individual have huge consequences, even if that individual had little to do with creating the underlying situation. Bottom line where I’m concerned: whether or not he “should” have had the power, Nader did have the power to change the outcome of the 2000 election, and abused that power. And, he continues to be dishonest about that.

    That said, Clinton’s civil liberties record was godawful, with legislation like the ‘Antiterrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act’, “welfare reform”, etc. Clinton was unprincipled, and Bush has the principles of a dictator. So, I get Nader’s point about there not being much difference between Dems and Reps. Still, if you’re one of the thousands killed or maimed in Bush’s war(s)– or someone getting royally screwed by a right-wing Federal judge — you might think even a small difference is worth supporting.

    Maybe its because I kind of like girls on the chubby side, but I’ve never gotten why anyone cares what Clinton was doing with Monica, and always thought it reflected worse on the people who made it front-page news than it did on the president. Monica’s all right, and Clinton was guilty of far worse stuff than having a fling with her. Just my opinion.

  7. Speaking of Bill and Monica, every Euro acquaintance who I have discussed US politics with has had the same two common conclusions:

    1) what’s the big deal about the President getting a blowjob
    and
    2) How could Americans re-elect Bush? This one left them incredulous in general.

  8. Fuck anybody who doesn’t like the USA. It’s the the only country in the world that you get what you work for. If your pissed off, it’s likely because of your own laziness. Truth is, you get what your worth. Be it a specialty, job, company… and so on. And if you actually listen to the current democrat candidates and like them, your likely not in touch with the current economy. Talking about no plan, other than getting elected… The country (economy) will remain strong. With or without you. There is nothing evil about the US. The world revolves around it. And will for some time (you can call me on that). There is right and wrong. Cut and dry. Some have more than others. Some have worked harder than others. GW is really not evil. SH was. You read your crazy websites that most people (they have normal jobs) do not have time for and write on what used to be a semi cool cycling website and now has turned into a bitching liberal website. Get over yourself… meaning get a job (I meant good job… Yes there are still many available). You fuckers act like you are philosophers. (I would love to know what most of you do for a living) Fuck. You chose the simple life and can’t take it… As much as you worry about this shit, you should have made a career out of it.
    Signed,
    FC
    P.S. Fuck you for talking shit. You can be as successful as you want. It isn’t anyones fault for your shortcomings … I do not know what field your in. But if your in the medical field, you know as do I, that there are people lined up to accept positions in the US and pleading to get positions (via citizenship) in the US. So, fuck any of you w/out constructive criticism. It is so easy to talk shit about what others say.
    P.P.S. Your vote for hillary, you obviously haven’t read much about her. Enough said…
    P.P.P.S. The less you tax, the more that is pumped into the economy. Read about it.

  9. EK,
    You’ve never been outside the US have you?

    If you tax less you have to spend less, something the spend and run Republicans of the past 6 years have yet to learn. The communist Chinese now own 40% of US federal bonds. Think about that.

    The only thing that you remotely make sense about are Americans too lazy/stupid to educate themselves in a field that pays well. I’m a mechanical engineer, I see it every day at work and once a week in grad school.

  10. “…are Americans too lazy/stupid to educate themselves in a field that pays well”

    Well. I’m not sure alcoholism falls in either the lazy or stupid category.

    10 years ago I made 30 bucks an hour wandering around various corporations fixing the problem know as Windows.

    Now I make 8 bucks an hour frying chicken for the Colonel.

    I haven’t given up yet so there’s still a chance I can get my tax rate up to 35%.

    But with most of that old career heading to India, I’m not betting the rent.

    That said….I’ll figure it out or die trying.

    PS: EK…..your an asshole.

  11. EKs rant was perfect. Talk about making assumptions. Or sweeping generalizations maybe.

    “You read your crazy websites that most people (they have normal jobs) do not have time for and write on what used to be a semi cool cycling website and now has turned into a bitching liberal website. Get over yourself… ” Look who is bitching.

    So which category exactly do you fall into EK? Guess you have time to read the crazy websites if you know their content. I personally can’t say I do. or does DC count?

    “Fuck anybody that doesn’t like the USA”? So its ok for you to dislike other people/countries but not for them to dislike the US? As said previously, have you had a chance to see much of the rest of the world outside US borders?

    “So, fuck any of you w/out constructive criticism. It is so easy to talk shit about what others say.”

    What was your constructive criticism exactly? I did not really jump out at me.

    You think I am voting for Hillary? You think I am unsuccessful?
    Uneducated? Whining, super left, liberal? Wrong on all of the above. I refuse to belong to any category. I like to keep a wide open mind. So I presume the “fuck you” statements don’t include me, although I do enjoy this site…so does that make me guilty by association?

    EK – you are right, the US is a GREAT country. That is why people are literally dying to get in. But we need to take care of it, and it is far from perfect. Drunkenbiker pointed out, there are a lot of “good” high tech jobs disappearing. EK, I would be curious to know how hard you really had to work to get to where you are. I don’t mean hard work like getting good grades/doing a good job either. Where you born with a head start like I was? Good family, good income, good schools etc?

    Good response drunkenbiker.

  12. EK – Since you’ve asked, I’ll tell you: I have worked in and around the cycling industry for the better part of the last seventeen years. You bemoan the loss of “what used to be a semi cool cycling website” and then speak of working harder and laziness in regards to one’s income.

    Newsflash – the cycling industry pays dick. We ain’t in this for the money.

    I have enjoyed a few forays out into the paying end of the job spectrum, and I can tell you this much – hard work has little to do with it. It’s all about right time, right place, who you know, etc, etc. Sure, a degree can’t hurt, but it does not equal income.

    And, neither does hard work. Take a drive through central Pennsylvania and the rest of the former coal and steel producing parts of Appalachia. Drive through Detroit. And then tell me those people got what they deserved because they were lazy.

    A lot of what affects a man and his family are well out of his control. You can bust your ass for years and end up with nothing. Or, as the case may be, end up with a lot less than you thought. I know people that took a couple hundred thousand dollar dive in their retirement earnings because the stock market went south on ‘em. People that worked hard for years and saved on their own. People that were compensated with stock options that evaporated.

    Is that because they are lazy?

    And, I have to ask, what wasn’t Liberal about porn? What did you think this website was seven years ago? What the fuck were you reading? Because it wasn’t anything I wrote…