South of the Border

From: Pistol Pete
Subject: Wildlife
So, I’m back in the saddle. Fucking bus rides always give me some kind of contagion.

Went out yesterday heading for a rollaround. Out looking for a better hotel room but brought a big bottle of water just in case. Holy Moroni! I sweat down here like a fat man washin’ down pork cracklins with a case of Cobra 40s. So I get bored almost instantly looking at worse rooms and head out an old two-track I know. White hardpack sand through jungle with the occasional small Ranchito tucked in all nice and pretty. You forget, looking at the squalor of the destitute Colonias, how gracefully some of the locals live. You know, Po’ but proud! Even the dogs look pretty good.

Anyway, it’s all green and good smelling and eventually I end up out on the highway. ¡Fuck It! I lay on the steam and roll! Past another small town, past a military roadblock (just like a mean dog, don’t look at’em) and through the hills. Fuck me these hills don’t LOOK that tough! Just as I’m dreaming of finding a small creek or something There is a bridge (sign says Arroyo Seco) with the prettiest little stream I eve saw-bushes, butterflies, all that shit. Also the hill starts to level out and I’m still feeling OK so the weeds will have to wait. I keep pullin’ and of course it’s a false crest so just keep humpin’ those 63 inches. I finally get to the top and it’s coco palms as for as the eye can see. With the humidity visibility is not that great but it sure looks good. I feel like I’m SOMEWHERE! Off in the distance I see a small group of buildings and I’m hoping one of ‘em is a tienda, I want somethin’ to DRINK! I gets to the bottom and yeah, it’s a store, but also it’s siesta so everything is closed. Come back “mas tarde”. Well, I got water and over there there’s a sandy little two-track for a rest. Dropping down in there is an explosion of white squawking as a million egrets take to wing. I’m looking around, trying not to get shit on or go over the handlebars when peeping over the edge of the bridge on the canal there’s a HUGE crocodile tail! Don’t fuck up Hippie! quiet, quiet, quiet… Park the Coyotero all ninja sneaky like and no shit, there he is. Twenty feet long! OK,get a grip, They aren’t THAT big. He’s an honest 5 feet from his rear axle to the tip of his tail. Makes him a good 3 meters overall. A large lizard for sure. So, I’m watching him and thinking “how will I get to see him better?” when he starts to go into reverse. His eyes swivel around to kind of reproach me for interfering with his siesta. He drops down in a cloud of bubbles and turns downstream. I watch as he cruises, not very far, to a quieter patch of shade. Fuck Me! My trip is worth it!

I continue, in the shade, to drink water and smoke some refreshment before heading back the way I have come. I’m a good twenty five K down the highway, with all the hassles that entails to return to some supper. Back up and over the hills, with a quick stop for a splash in the creek, then it’s hammer down! Rolling past the Army Checkpoint I’m hoping they ignore me as I’ve brought no ID. Roll right past using the tricks they taught me in Japan and I’m home free!

Back in Melaque, kind of a shithole, but friendly, and time for a 50 peso fish fillet, including a beer. Life is good and Surly Steamrollers are good cross bikes!

Pistol out!

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

3 thoughts on “South of the Border

  1. Yeah,I gots me a phoney baloney job at the gubmint.Work seasonal and live poor.I save my paychecks for what’s important.I ain’t got no Hummer or Del Web bullshit palace.I got a bitchin’ van and a LIFE!Kill your TV and go outside…Love,yer Uncle,Pistol!