I don’t heart Huckabee

Hasn’t this country learned anything from the last time we elected some pious buffoon spittin’ country grammar? Is it really as simple as “I believe in Jesus, he believes in Jesus, together, we both believe in Jesus.”

Is that all it takes to get the reins in this place?

If so, I gotta get a new shtick. This one’s played out like Roger Clemens and the Hall of Fame.

Read David Corn’s new one over at motherjones.com

At the last Republican presidential debate, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, who had surged into the lead in the Iowa polls, pitched himself as the potential president who could unite a nation divided. “I think the first priority of the next president is to be a president of all the United States,” he said. “We are right now a very polarized country, and that polarized country has led to a paralyzed government. We’ve got Democrats who fight Republicans, liberals fighting conservatives, the left fights the right. Who’s fighting for this country again?…We’ve got to be the united people of the United States.”

In the days before this debate, Huckabee, a former Baptist minister, was hit with questions regarding his past remarks and positions on religion (in 1998 he said, “I hope we…take this nation back for Christ”), on AIDS (in 1992 he proposed that people with the disease be quarantined), and on the role of women in society (in 1998 he endorsed an ad affirming the Baptist teaching that a “wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband”). And Huckabee was obviously trying to come across as a friendly and reasonable fundamentalist who eschewed the politics of division. But not too long ago, Huckabee was quite willing to be divisive. In a 1998 book decrying American culture, Huckabee was no seeker of common ground. He drew stark lines, equating environmentalists with pornographers and homosexuality with pedophilia and necrophilia. He also declared that people who do not believe in God tend to be immoral and to engage in “destructive behavior.” He drew a rather harsh picture of an American society starkly split between people of faith and those of a secular bent, with the latter being a direct and immediate threat to the nation.

It really is quite good. I won’t bother trying to dissect the article or offer much in the way of blinding insight to his arguments. It needs nothing this fat fuck can offer.

Nod to talkingpointsmemo.com for turning me on to this piece. If you don’t already read TPM, I recommend it whole heartedly.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

20 thoughts on “I don’t heart Huckabee

  1. I swear on the highest quality case of German beer that If this numbnuts gets elected, I will offer my services as a relocation ‘helper’ to any and all who decide to come to Munich.

    I will help you adjust, get you to learn german, show you the good spots for drinking (and maybe riding…) and in general, help you adjust to a whole ‘nother way of life, where tits on the TV are OK, but most Tarantino films are cut beyond recognition. where people say ‘Arschloch” and ‘Scheiße’ and even the occasional ‘Fick dich’ on TV and nude sunbathing is allowed. (and for the ladies… encouraged.)

    I will show you the English Garden, with it’s beer garden of immense proportions; where you will likely meet American tourists travelling, and maybe even a few of us ‘Expats.’
    I will show you where to get some confort foods, (the ones that are available anyhow.) and how to make a passable burrito from local fix’ns.

    I will do everything in my power to make sure you don’t feel like a compete outsider in this country because if that fuckface gets elected, you sure as shit will be feeling that way at home.

    Or maybe I should convert to fundamental christianity, so I can get my wife to properly ‘submit’ to me. That would be nice for once.

  2. Hell, I’m even thinking of renouncing some of my more conservative views if he is elected. I cringe at the “God in the White House” thing when Bush does it…looks like he’s gonna be about 100X worse. You can still be a good person and not believe in Christianity…unfortunately most Christians don’t seem to believe that.

  3. I try to not judge Christianity by the fucktards on the Far Right, much as I try to not judge Islam by the terrorists. But dang… it’s getting hard to not judge when nobody steps up to say “This (these) idiot(s) do not speak for the majority of my group.”

    Opus

  4. Huckabee and his ilk are spouting a dangerous form of rhetoric that is part of a lock step march that the chirstian right is on towards facisim in America. It is dangerous and should be decryed at every chance. If you dont believe me google the word “dominionsim”.
    His beliefs and hate speak are unpatriotic and unamerican. I say this with all due respect to free thinking christians. Thanks for speaking up Speedy and Opus and Sx…

  5. AJ today called huckaboob a “doe eyed,chicken necked shill for the establishment to help get hillary elected”…haha. the game is rigged, and except for Ron Paul, anyone the cons nominate to run against billary will result in the victory for the new world order.

  6. I’m voting for Ron Paul. Period. Huckabee is a nutjob, Giuliani is the devil, Romney is a soulless automaton, Hillary is a powermad communist, Obama is an empty shell, McCain is a warmonger. Ron is the way.

  7. “I’m voting for Ron Paul. Period. Huckabee is a nutjob, Giuliani is the devil, Romney is a soulless automaton, Hillary is a powermad communist, Obama is an empty shell, McCain is a warmonger. Ron is the way.”

    And Edwards?

    Hillary is a communist? Puh-leeeze. Are you like 90 or some shit? She is unpalatable and power-hungry, yes. (IMHO) But a commie??? Do you live in your own personal ‘Red Dawn’ ?

    I’ll take Obama or Edwards, but Edwards get my first vote. Obama is too ready to ‘Reach across the aisle’ where some douche will be ready to knife him in the back.

    Fuck Ron Paul. He’s Huck-lite.

  8. Ahmen Bike Punk. Ron Paul is an effing wacko. If these nice DC fans want to vote for him in the primary the only good news is that it will take votes away from the other Republican shit heals. Think Ross Perot.
    Edwards is electable has a brain and is tough enough to stand up to the BS on the right.

  9. OH yeah. Trust Edwards. GIMME a BREAK. The man is a LAWYER. A lawyer sporting TONS of money that I’m SURE he worked his butt off for….slaving to the grind like those of his ilk are like to do..you know…just like the common man he “represents.” His campaign towards the poor and downtrodden is a freakin’ JOKE. If you can’t see through how fake this guy is, you can’t see the hands in front of your face.

  10. Lets be real they are all as “real” as Jenna Jamesons Tits. It is a matter of voting for the one that is least fake AND has a chance of winning and getting anything done. I dont know about you but like looking at fake tits.

    I’ll grant the only “real” candidates are Paul and Kucinich. Paul is dangerous and Kucinich is not viable.

    Yes Edwards is a lawyer one but he came from a poor working class family and got rich sueing corporations that were fucking over poor people. Name another name other than Kucinich that has made a living out of speaking up for the common man rather than shilling for corporate interests.

    You dont like my guy… Who do you like and I’ll tell you what’s wrong with him/ her? And I’ll be sure to do it spouting whatever opinion the mainstream media gives me.

  11. If God wanted us to vote She would have given us real candidates… Can I vote for None Of The Above? So far I wouldn’t trust any of the candidates with anything more dangerous than a Nerf ball, much less the means to destroy the world… There has to be a better way to coose the leader of the Free World than this.

  12. As for Edwards being a lawyer, yeah… OK.

    What did Bush ever do? Ruin every business opportunity set up for him by Daddy and his pals.

    Aside from being an anti-income tax nut and OG-GYN, what does Ron have to offer?

    Bad argument, since everyone has to have a profession. At least he did something with his life, unlike Shrub, who had everything handed to him, only to run it into the ground. That includes the presidency and the good ole’ us of a™.

  13. Yeah. Name all the actual jobs Clinton had, as opposed to being “annointed.” Bush was the corporate version of what Clinton was politically. And I finished defending him quite some time ago, so your point is well taken.

    I love to give you my choice of candidate, if only I had one. I’m pretty sure they all suck…I’m with Opus’ view, actually.

    As for the fake tits…not a big fan. Hell, my wife want’s em and I won’t buy them!

  14. …unsavory business, this ‘politics’ thing…

    …but at least in this format, no one sinks to the level of the actual campaigners rhetoric…ooh, wait, i’ve just been handed a note…

    …truth be told, despite the “snide-isms” used here occasionally, drunkcyclist posters have a better grassroots grasp on the situation than i’ve seen on a lot of “professional” sites…

    …here, it ain’t a profession, it’s a passion…

    …just observin’…

  15. Nice BGW… and well said. Sommer, I guess I am an optomist. I want to feel like I’m doin’ what miniscule bit of sputating I can to keep the world in the right direction. Just complainin aint gonna get anything done.
    Edwards is a weevile Obama is a weevil when faced with the choice… Always choose the lesser of two weevils.