Thursday’s Poem – John Forest Gump

From: Junebug
Subject:
Hi Big Jonny,
here’s a poem I wrote about one of my customers. I’ve recited it many times but haven’t written it until recently. He’s banned from our bathroom because he shits on the toilet seat. His real name is John Forest, but he’s epileptic and slow, and when he talks it takes three times as long to talk or get anything done. You can use it for your Thursday Poem if you like, if not, thanks for reading it! I wrote a couple of other articles for my team’s website.lakesuperiorcycling.org Including a play in the archives, How to Make Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins starring Jan Ullrich, Henk Vogels and Ashy Larry.
ciao!
June

John Forest Gump by Junebug

John Forest Gump
John Forest Gump
Rode his bike over a hump
It shook him so much he had to go dump
John Forest Gump
John Forest Gump

My loyal customer
Our toilet plumbing it fails sadly
Our toilet seat you leave a streak
Your shit it leaves a stench
My weary hands now must clean

Wearing dark denim you ride in
Dark denim pants, dark denim coat, dark long hair
Upon the ten speed with bolt-on axle wheels you ride
Rear tire always going flat, bike always dirty
Pays in cash pays in cash

John Forest Gump
John Forest Gump
Rode his bike over a hump
It shook him so much he had to go dump
John Forest Gump
John Forest Gump

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

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