To all motorists who need a lesson in civility and sharing the road with us. Cyclists.
Local cycling enthusiast and road rage sufferer Tom Tiddnam has gone against his wife’s advice and decided to purchase a handgun to carry while biking.
“I’m so sick and tired of being run off the road and almost killed. I need protection,” summarized Tiddnam. “But I really am not interested in carrying around extra weight. I need something deadly but light.”
It’s the age-old quest for the advanced cyclist, shaving off ounces of equipment weight. This quest has single-handedly supported the cycling industry for years. Serious cyclists and posers alike will pay premium prices for lighter equipment. Having lighter equipment allows an athlete to ride slightly faster and farther than they could when they had money stagnating in the bank. For example, recent advancements in carbon fiber technology have made it possible to get the weight of a $4,000 bicycle frame down to a mere two pounds.
I’m wondering what happened. A follow-up would be nice. Can anyone get a hold of this guy??? We aren’t THAT large of a community, but still. (yes, i know it’s Onion-like, but still… It makes me want to buy some nicely engineered german bust-a-cap action.)
ps: I would have to buy some lycra, and a road bike…etc…etc… Nope. Not anytime soon. I’ll stick to arguing with granola heads about trail use. No need in getting a gun for those guys. Just throw some bacon at then, and they’ll run crying home and post their emo-shit on peta-dot-com’s forum.by