Happy New Year everyone. I hope 2007 treated you well, and 2008 treats you even better.

One in from Uncle Pistol:
From: Pistol Pete
Subject: Got a fixed gear habit…
…And a Mexican tan,
So, doing research on Steamroller durability. Got to Mazatlan three days ago, and it´s cold. Gonna spend New Years here with old amigos then bolting off down around Manzanillo way. It´s good to be back and dodging [...]

Funny how the people who stand to be the most impacted by global warming are the same folks who fail to see any truth to it.
The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean—and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats—are the American southeast, including the most populated [...]

From: Vape
Subject: Flying the DC colors
Hey Jonny,
Just wanted to let you know that we be keepin the faith over here in
Indiana. This is from the Hilly Hundred back in October:
richardlebeau.com
Good looking out. Indiana also appears to be the land of giant s’mores. And this kid ain’t scared.
Never done that event. [...]

File this on under “public service announcement”.
From: Patrick
Subject: Martha’s eggnog
She might be the definition of the word douche, but the lady is boozer.
Happy holidays.
12 eggs, separated
1 1/2 cups superfine sugar
1 quart whole milk
1 1/2 quarts heavy cream
3 cups bourbon
1/2 cup dark rum
2 cups cognac
freshly grated nutmeg
In a very large bowl, beat egg yolks until [...]

This just in…
hey y’all
Registration for the Single Speed World Championships 2008 in Napa, CA, USA, will open on January 1, 2008, at 12:00 a.m. PST. We will post an on-line form for people to fill out and email to us soon. Again, registration does not open until January 1, 2008 at 12:00 a.m. Any emailed [...]

we were walking through
his garlic fields
outside truth or consequences.
Bill told me
the kids weren’t coming over.
The kids never come over
anymore.

This, to my best recollection, is the first “write a caption” deal on drunkcyclist.com. The New Yorker does the same thing, undoubtedly better than we every will. But, you get the idea.

Leave your best lines below in the comment section.

Great tag line. Gotta love it.
What’s smug and deserves to be decapitated?
Matthew Parris: My Week
A festive custom we could do worse than foster would be stringing piano wire across country lanes to decapitate cyclists. It’s not just the Lycra, though Heaven knows this atrocity alone should be a capital offence; nor the helmets, though [...]

6 in the morning
I read somewhere
once
about a writer
who
as he got older
no longer
stayed up late
at night
chasing his demons
instead
he’d get up early
and grab the bitch
by the throat.
I guess that’s why
I’m writing this
at 6
in the morning.

One day little Jonny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to check it out. He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going at it behind her.
Jonny’s dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Jonny closed the door. After business was finished [...]

First I’d like to say I got 2 things for Christmas. Jack and shit.
This would be nice though.

Considering how infuriating the news is, and how much I really want to punch the TV/Monitor/kittens, this would come in handy. Yes it would.
Next up on the list is the snark required and focus demanded of me to [...]

Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy the day.

From: the mostly reverend grandpa kim
Subject: snowy bike rides
i did my daily ride yesterday, here in des moines, and i didn’t see anyone
else. i don’t get it; bunch of fucking sissies around here, i guess.
theorphanageandyou.blogspot.com
happy holidays and shit.
Just in case you somehow miss the photo on that link up there, here it [...]

Those kids across the pond know what it’s all about:
A scheme to build a national network of cycle and walking routes has won a £50m lottery grant by topping a public vote.
Source: news.bbc.co.uk
A national network of cycle and walking routes. Can you imagine?
Sustrans: Connect2, which aims to improve travel in 79 communities, beat three [...]

I’ll just start with insult and degrade further from there.
The auction for Karl Rove’s memoir drags on a month after the Republican strategist made the rounds of publishers with Washington power lawyer Robert Barnett at his side.
And here I thought the pig fuckers in the flyover states would shag, shimmy and shuffle right up [...]

Here is one pic from the family Christmas get together for ya:

I’ve got to admit, my old man’s got style.

Ok, I know perhaps some of you thought that last post about Expedia was a bit whiney. But if you check out the customer service representative video.yahoo.com/video/play?… you’ll understand.

I type this on a borrowed laptop as my family is together in Sedona this weekend doing Christmas a few days early.
I haven’t much time, so I’ll keep this short and sweet: You know you’re old when you open all your Christmas presents and they consist of five sweaters, a chia pet [...]