A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr.Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang [...]

Saturday morning. I awoke at 6:00am with a bit of a headache after six beers and half a pizza last night while watching American Hardcore. (wiki here) A pretty good little film, but it was all about shit just before my time. I graduated high school in ’88 and the film pretty much wraps it [...]

The day just got a little longer for a certain Eagles fan we all know. Jonny, this makes Festina look like Sesame Street.

I have been to nearly every major city in the world: LA, San Fran, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Shanghai, Beijing, Milan, Paris, Frankfurt, London…all of them, except up until about a week ago: New York City. Went there for “business”. I like to use the quotes when I talk about some of my trips, because, well, [...]

Due to Jonny’s semi-emo meltdown and subsequent infection of many posters here, I took it upon myself to drink half a bottle of Jonnie Walker black and get over said illness. I’m not sure when (or even IF…) Jonny will return in fighting form. He may in fact, be gone for as long as 3 [...]

Why is it that you can be the cock of the block when you’re single, but celibate when you are with someone? Why is it you seem to get the most when you’re single and playing the field, but when ‘love’ is involved it drops off exponentially? Why is it that some guys have all [...]

Whats my name? Fuck you, that’s my name.

On a board, gasping As his tormenter pours, smiles Dreaming of surfing

Today I arose, well sort of, with a moist brain, a hole in my upper jaw where a molar used to live, and a burning urgency. I got there in time, to the toilet, then the bus. work is killing me, to the point of writing poetry and soothing the pain of extraction with a [...]

Butter or pie We left Portland early. By 8am, at least. On our way out to Hood River we decided that we had no idea where we were going. “The Fruit Loop” was the answer, where it started was the question. The fellow at the Mobile (just off the highway) was real helpful, sent us [...]

Already left She gave him what he wanted because she thought it would keep him from leaving. He took it because it was there. What neither of them knew, is that he had already left.

This might be an indicator of how bad he needs the dope. Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six: Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley [...]