. . . here comes Masters Cycling magazine, your guide to the world of sand-bagging, treachery and egomania. Every issue will have a mirror on the cover and contain a number of cutting-edge features vital to the gray panthers of the peloton, including:
The Mercedes-Benz GL550: Six Bikes That Look Fast On the Roof!
‘Watch Your Line, Pencil Dick!’ And Other Witty Phrases for Clearing Your Path of Junior Racers
Entry Fees: Outrageous Expense Or Critical Tax Deduction?
The Bike Mechanic: Cheaper to Rent or Own?
Explaining That DNF: Top 10 Reasons You Shoulda Won
This thing is gonna earn like a no-bid reconstruction contract in the Green Zone. It’s a zero-overhead plan if ever I saw one. All a guy needs is a strip-mall storefront containing an accountant to tally the cash from hot-car, designer-booze and wiener-drug ads, an IT guy to field all the incoming training logs from CTS pootbutts and a custodian to keep those cover mirrors polished.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Oh fuck!
You cracked me up!
November 14th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Freakin hilarious.
November 14th, 2007 at 9:24 am
We used to call the guy grandpa on that front cover.. LOL
that was like 10years ago.. he he..
Joe
Team Ol’ fuck. :)
November 14th, 2007 at 9:28 am
that shit is funny. a mirror on the cover – do you pay for material like that?
November 14th, 2007 at 10:24 am
How ’bout:
Product Review: TOP 10 Antiinflamatories
November 14th, 2007 at 11:01 am
…shades of bikesnob nyc’s friday column (11/9/07) but for real…now that IS surreal….
…i laughed til my catheter fell out, but nice to see that somebody cares about us old cycling fucks…(read as: figured out how to make more money from)…
…well, time for my meds, thanks for the chuckle…
November 14th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Seeing as we’re the only ones who can afford the trick stuff…
Hell, it’d probably work…
November 14th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
I just found what my grandfather’s getting for Christmas! A gift that keeps on giving…
November 14th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
You need the IT maintained for it, I am the man.
Payment in cash only please.
November 14th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
As a charter member of the Old Guys Who Get Fat In Winter Cycling Team, I resemble that remark.
Funny. Fucking hilarious!!! And sad…somehow. I’m going for doughnuts. That always cheers me up. These pants stretch, right?
November 14th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Ehh! Type louder I cant hear you sonny.
November 14th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
old people are funny…
November 15th, 2007 at 6:46 am
more articles:
“Mail Order EPO – the Viagra of Masters”
“CPR 101 – when thinking you’re still 20 crosses the line”
“How to Not say Hello to Newbies”
…and so on.
cheers DC