Mister Mom

Saturday morning. I awoke at 6:00am with a bit of a headache after six beers and half a pizza last night while watching American Hardcore. (wiki here)

A pretty good little film, but it was all about shit just before my time. I graduated high school in ’88 and the film pretty much wraps it up around ’85-’86 calling “punk dead” and the like. Shit was still going off in ’87 if you ask me. Hell, it still is. I gots to tell you, it may be different, but it’s far from dead.

And they sure did gloss over a whole bunch of shit, didn’t they? No real mention of the Dead Kennedy’s or the Misfits? People still buy there records and rock the logo. Twenty years out and the kids still dig ‘em. Talk about influential…

They barely made mention of the Cro-Mags and the bomb they dropped all over the east coast. Everything changed after them. All the Revelation bands, man, don’t even get me started… Maybe they’ll be an American Hardcore: Part Two that covers ’87 through ’91 when it got all metal and every flannel shirt wearing moron in Seattle got signed to a three record deal. Oh, the memories.

I’ve got a cup of coffee going and unread emails coming out of my ass. Seems I’ve been busy of late. What happened to this week? How is it Saturday again? And why hasn’t anyone raked up the pine needles in my lawn? Too much stuff going on I guess. Go figure.

I may even get out on a bike today. Yes, I’m really aiming to pedal some circles. I’ve been successfully riding my happy fat ass to work most days (all but one this week) and I feel pretty good about it. Fighting traffic in my stupid hippy redneck shitbag mountain town is a real bummer. I’d much rather just cruise through the side streets and feel the wind on my face.

So, today I’ll try to ride some. If I can just find a bike that works in the pile of shit I call a garage…

I haven’t posted much this week, just a few short ones. But there are plenty of tankhead drunks who can (and do) fire at will, splashing text all over the site. And thank god for ‘em, ’cause I’d be lost otherwise.

One of the best things I’ve read of late (and I’ve been reading a lot) is this little piece from Flick Lives.

Teaser below:

This was Trent Klasna’s last year. He had been a professional since 1998 when he took up cycling to help straighten himself after a few troubled years of partying around the beaches of Southern California. One addiction for another. However good he may have been at rolling joints and drinking Bud pounders, he was much better at this bicycle racing thing. Almost immediately he rose through the ranks of amateur cycling and into a job with Saturn, the most dominant team in North America. In 2001 he was the US Time Trail Champion and the Overall Champion of the National Series. But then came a series of injuries, bad luck, and the demised of the big budget Team Saturn. When 2003 ended Klasna found himself a forgotten hero and out of work . Like I said, cycling doesn’t mourn its dead.

With a new house, newly married, and the hopes that he still had one more good year left in him, Klasna took up the 2004 season with the new and inexperienced Sierra Nevada Cycling Team. For the beer sponsored team, signing Klasna was a boon. His addition brought instant credibility to the team and with that came access to bigger races and some respect in the pecking order of the controlled chaos of the racing peloton. Klasna honored the contract with strong performances in early California races like the Redland Classic and Sea Otter at Laguna Secca. But once he started losing the benefit a mild California winter it started becoming apparent that Trent was no longer the champion who dominate the scene from 1999-2002. As April turned into summer Klasna was having trouble hanging in the field and was being left behind by riders who should have been asking for his autograph.

I’d show you the last three paragraphs of that bit of masterpiece theatre, but shit, that’d just ruin it for ya. Read the fucking thing. You’ll like it.

Where’d the time go? It’s already almost eight… I gots to post this and sort out my daughter. Just call me Mister Mom.

Today’s link dump, have at it:

[reverse graffiti] inhabitat.com
[we're totally gay] whoisioz.blogspot.com
[insane] thedenverchannel.com
[crazy eyes & bald] wwtdd.com
[you gotta be fucking shitting me] bmezine.com

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

18 thoughts on “Mister Mom

  1. Of course the FIRST thing I click is BME. Im a freak like that.
    HOLY FUCK ! I will NEVER be the biggest freak in the room. Sure I have more tattoos and piercings than my circle of friends here, but after THAT… All I know, Is that is betting bookmarked and emailed to everyone I know here.

    Second, I watched most of American Hardcore, and while most of it was interesting, It seemed like a large masturbatory ‘We were there, We were the best and no-one else existed.’ bullshit. I was in LA and graduated in ’88 and to tell the truth, there were many bands still playing and rocking all over the 213, 818 and surrounding areas.

    To say it was dead just because you broke up is as arrogant and short-sighted as Bush and his ‘Mission Accomplished’ foible. It’s just not true. Rollins went on to shout poetry at young boys while wearing biker shorts, Ian from Minor Threat went on to do Fugazi (Still an awesome group) and found and expand Dischord records, Greg Ginn dropped off the map as did Keith Morris…

    The scene didn’t die… you guys left… you quit.

  2. i remember racing with Plasma. He lapped the field 2wice – solo at Killington and the Bermuda crit. In Bermuda, Laura Van Guilder was like, “i wonder what he had for brekfest”
    my guess was cocaine, as he just had some cougar come in the night before.

  3. I was so psyched to see that movie, and it delivered with some awesome bad brains and rollins footage. They were right to make bad brains a centerpiece of the film.

    But seriously there is no coherent order it’s just a collage of some cool shit mixed up with some lame shit. How can you make a movie called american hardcore and not talk about all the awesome shit from the 90′s. How can you talk about a band as lame as circle one but not mention filth, los crudos, antischism, grimple, or death wish kids?

  4. I graduated in ’87, big boy, but was in that scene and film.

    Started hanging at 12 and then a roadie at 13. I was at THE riot at the Olympic where the kid was photoed for an album cover skanking on the cop car. Great flick and so freakin’ true. It was a trip to see my youth relived on film and even to catch a glimpse of me on film.

    Good times.

  5. …jonny linked it, bikepunk tripped on it, so i hadda go to bme first…well, gosh, that looks like wholesome fun for the whole family & gee wilikers, it’s nice to see dizygotic twins coming to an agreement while sharing similar interests…

  6. I would occasionally wonder what happened to Trent Klasna. Good to know.

    Also, those twins. I think that extra arm pretty much ruins the sex life, don;t you think?

    All they have now is each other. I guess.

  7. Am.Hardcore – seen it around over 1 year ago at the premiere in los nuttyland. Approached filmmaker after and asked about a fist full of bands I remember from 83,4,5 etc that he left out and he was all ‘yeah they weren’t really part of it’ – right, even though you showed their flyers throughout the flick (and I remember bein’ in the pit for shows where said groups shared the bill with bands in the film). those kinda films are more interesting for who doesn’t talk or appear on camera. like DK wasn’t around then or somethin’. ‘least he included effigies and those great brains interviews. made me think how a lot of the stuff I thought was weak shit back then really was weak shit. at least the t-shirts were always cool. reminds me how in the Dogtown documentary, none of the true second gen Dogtowners are in it (Jesse The Mess, Fingers Murray, Dressen, etc – wtf) and Jim Muir says like five words. documentaries are opinions, you get what the editor wanted you to get. love’m just the same, just helps to be honest about it. ain’t no unbiased documentaries. really looking forward to the new joe strummer doc, ’cause the last one was kind of a turd.

    klasna was showing up at cross races and schoolin’ masters a few years back, haven’t been to a race since to see if he still kicks it.

  8. “Also, those twins. I think that extra arm pretty much ruins the sex life, don;t you think?

    All they have now is each other. I guess.”

    Oh man. I sent that link to everyone on the planet and never thought of that.

    Thanks. I won’t sleep again till next Thursday.

  9. If the bad photo didn’t give it away, the publishing date, April 1 1999 should give away just how real Ryan and Dave are. It’s almost as big a joke as Hank Rollins getting credit for Black Flag.

  10. …i did say dizygotic, but dammit, i may be wrong…now i think they’re monozygotic…

    …i’m not convinced that’s an authentic 246 dino either…could be fiberglass knockoff look-a-like…

    …& bert o, if they were really gonna do the finger extension, wouldn’t they do the middle finger ???…i sure would…so ya prob’ly made a good catch…

    …anybody @ queens university in kingston wanna confirm these freaks, one way or the other???…

  11. I picked up AH a few months back. Sat down with a bottle of Maker’s Mark and proceeded to show my 16 y.o. son what a scene is all about. His quote afterwards? “Man, we’re a bunch of posers!”.

    Good shit there. That DVD was immediately followed by The Subhumans “All Gone Live”. He’s still playing those bass lines back in his room.

  12. Big Jonny for the most part I agree with you that punk rock is not dead or wasn’t until very recently. However, with the introduction of scenesters, hipsters, and Hot Topic at every mall in the nation it may have come to pass that punk rock has finally commite suicide in shame. HIPSTERS KILLED PUNK ROCK! I say we march on hot topic and exact our revenge on the shlocks that did this to the genre

  13. I liked the interview with whats-his-face from TSOL wearing peach colored terry-cloth pants..
    Good man.
    ..and the other whats-his-face from SST, sipping wine, swimming in his Scrooge Mc Duck vault of gold coins.
    Homeless deryl done good.
    ..and the footage of Bad Brains…
    Never slowed down.
    Other then that, the movie had both my boys in its mouth.

  14. Haven’t seen the movie but the trailer made me feel like an old fart. I graduated HS in ’85 in OC. Used to go to the olympic and fenders ballroom in LB and rage the hardcore scene starting in about 82′ 83′ or so. It really did feel like we were at the begining of something special.
    One of my co-workers’ 15 year old kid wears Minor Threat and Misfits T shirts and has their jeans all pegged with creepers annd shit. I talk to ‘em about seeing Minor Threat live and they look at me like Im from the frickin’ moon. Yeah, yeah granpa whatever…

    How long do you think it will be before Madison Ave. Starts using Dead Kennedy songs to advertise SUVs? That is when punk will be officially dead.

    I’ll netflix the movie and watch it on my 27″ flat screen in surround sound. Punk fuckin’ rock baby.