oh my fucking zombie jesus wtf?

This might be an indicator of how bad he needs the dope.

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six:

Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.”

read more.

No, wait… don’t. This goes BEYOND Schadenfreude. This is just plain hysterical. I can’t even explain my emotions this early in the AM about what I just read. Holy hell.

—bikepunk

edited to add this pic of….. this thing.

The Olson Twins

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About bikepunk

“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.” Munich, Germany

29 thoughts on “oh my fucking zombie jesus wtf?

  1. yeah, sesame street did call and they want their muppet back,. holy fucking shit lance. you were the leader of the athletically free world, welcome to your new role as a leader of the alphabetically free world. i think the girl from highschool musical might be 17 now too. have a nice time watching Smurf reruns.
    the real bummer is i was in NYC the past few days( more posting on that later) and was even in the Rose but missed my old teammate.

  2. this gives me hope. that a thirty something bike geek with a little extra cash can still score a 21 year old rich slut with a twin sister
    doping really does pay off

    amen.

  3. Thats just too damn funny. I think that just made my day. In fact, I know that just made my day. Thanks for that.

  4. WTF is wrong with you people? Lance survives cancer, wins the Tour, wins it again another 6 times to prove it wasn’t a fluke, walks away with more money than the rest of the peleton put together and is now, despite only having one bollock, banging a chick 15 years younger than him.

    HE’S LIVING THE DREAM, BABY. LIVING THE DREAM!

  5. Lance is a Man Ho, And doing a good job of it…he fucks Hot Skinny bitches worth big bucks…My Dream….

  6. This is all wrong. It’s going to be at least a couple more years before she starts looking his mother.

  7. I wonder if Lance’s kids have any of the twins’ tweener movies on video.

    “Hey, mommy, which one is daddy boinking?”

  8. Lance thinks she’s a little too fat for him

    but she has good drugs

    rumor has it he’s training her for the ladies le tour

  9. Sheryl was the dream, this is night of the living dead…schadenfreude doesn’t touch this one…

    how much dope would this require?

    lots

  10. If he’s willing to stick his dick in that, imagine what he’s willing to put in his arm.

    Actually, I don’t think I want to use my imagination too much on this one at all.

    What a moron. I would say more if I weren’t so afraid that he’d sue me.

  11. …take me around the world tonite, daddy…

    ..how about just seven hard laps around france, baby girl…

  12. All of the dirtbag cyclists I know (myself included) are really into bitchin’ bikes, drugs, and sleazy little girls. By extension, Lance must be the king of the dirtbag cyclists because he rides the most bitchin’ bike, gets the best drugs money can buy, and is crammin’ the priciest, sleaziest little girl around. He’s all custom-built carbon fiber, EPO, and Ashley, and everyone I know is all Surly CrossCheck, pot, and the girl that works the morning shift at circle K. I don’t necessarily agree with his choice of bikes, drugs, or women, but seriously, hats off to Lance. He’s doing shit his way, and who don’t fucking like it? What good is fame and fortune if you can’t use it to satisfy some freaky yen to bang a superstar death princess?
    Good for you Lance. Conscience makes cowards of us all.