One: The motorists here are all insane. Assume that they wish you dead, because many of them do, if only because they believe your soul will flit directly to the loving arms of the baby JeezWhiz. Thus, never enter an intersection on the green without a couple really big vehicles flanking you. Let the SUV take the hit.

Two: Red lights are strictly advisory here, so much so that many traffic signals have built-in delays of a few seconds, which means, yes, major intersections often have simultaneous reds to accommodate the iPod-wearing, cell-phone-chatting, latte-sipping, ciggy-smoking, chemically impaired, cousin-humping, Bible-thumping fucktards who blow through the red five seconds late in their Ford Excretions while steering with their six-toed feet and spitting over one shoulder at the sixpack of screeching crotch-droppings watching “Touched by an Angel” DVDs in the back seat.

Two-B: Also advisory are speed limits, sirens atop ambulances and fire trucks, concealed-carry laws, the federal tax code and the Ten Commandments. And bike lanes are for passing on the right when the left lane is occupied.

Three: Never believe any “news” you read in the paper, hear on the radio or see on TV. They all steal shamelessly from one another. It is a closed system, free of contamination from the outside world; think of having your pee delivered from the toilet to your kitchen faucet and you’ll get the idea. The bit about “the cyclist was not wearing a helmet” is stored in the F4 key on these nitwits’ keyboards. And as to dredging up evil tales about the deceased, this is acceptable as the dead cannot be libeled.

Four: We have a bazillion churches but no sanctuary. A buddy of mine was hit by a truck on a bike path.

Why the fuck is that in the story ??!!??

That’s messed up big time.

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_5724637,00.html

This story is way fishy.