I’m back in the bike shop. Maybe I never really left. Maybe it’s better this way.
I woman came in today, one of the rudest short stack Phoenix Princess’s I’ve ever had the bad luck to run across. And I’m the middle of quite a spell of bad luck.
I showed her our cheapest mountain bike, a Giant for $239.99. She asked why we didn’t have any used bikes. I said we did, down in the basement. There was an old red Schwinn for $125.
“No Schwinn. I hate Schwinn. Do you have a Trek?”
“No used Treks.”
“Do you have a Trek?”
“No, we’re not a Trek dealer.”
“Do you have a Trek? I have a Trek in Phoenix.”
“What, like me personally? Do I own a Trek? No. I don’t own a Trek bicycle.”
“So if I want a Trek I have to go somewhere else? But I can get a Specialized here?”
“Yes, we are a Specialized dealer. And we sell Giant.”
“I don’t want a Giant. I want a Trek. My husband has a Specialized in Phoenix. It fits him. So I have to get his bike here and go somewhere else for a Trek?”
Her husband finally shows his face after parking the car in New Mexico for all I know and walks in. She turns to him and says, “All the bikes here are twice as much as they are in Phoenix.”
He says two words: “Let’s go.” And they leave.
I’m pretty sure you can’t get a new Giant mountain bike for $120 bucks anywhere on god’s green earth. But what the hell do I know?
I was home alone all last week with my daughter while my wife was away at a conference. I was feeling pretty lame after Vegas, just beat down. I had lost my voice (and some thanked god) and it took a few days to right itself. I never hit a fever, but I sure felt all that good either. I would come home from work, but my daughter to bed after dinner and crawl in-between the sheets by about eight thirty each night. Sometimes it was closer to seven.
My wife comes home on Friday, listens to me hacking in bed and says, “How long you been like this?”
“Did you call the Doctor?”
“Yeah, I got an appointment for next Thursday.”
In the morning, she tells me we’re going to Urgent Care. I apparently kept her up all night coughing and wheezing. They open at 8:00 am and we hit the parking lot at 8:03.
I walk out with four prescriptions. I’m now on a course of ten days of anti-biotics, five days of steroids, a bronchial inhaler and codeine cough syrup.
I’m about to go pro.by