You better run for your life if you can, little girl

Track goddess Marion Jones — surprise surprise — has copped to using performance-enhancing drugs, according to a story in The Washington Post. She won five medals in the 2000 Olympics, three of them gold, and according to the AP “was one of track’s first female millionaires, typically earning between $70,000 and $80,000 a race, plus at least another $1 million from race bonuses and endorsement deals.” Gosh, and we wonder why our sporting heroes, and heroines, might be tempted to cut a corner or two en route to the finish line, which, oddly enough, always seems to be near a bank.

“I’m shocked, shocked, to find out that doping is taking place here!”

“Your customary jeroboam of Chateau du Chien Fou ’69, Monsieur O’Grady?”

“Ah, merci, François. No, just the one glass. Please accept this footlocker full of euros with my compliments. And tell no one.”

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About Patrick O'Grady

Making stuff up for money since 1977. Making stuff up about cycling for money since 1989. See VeloNews and Bicycle Retailer & Industry News, found crumpled near the crapper in stylish homes and pro bike shops worldwide.

50 thoughts on “You better run for your life if you can, little girl

  1. And the worst part is that she’s claiming her coach didn’t tell her what she was being injected with.

    Gimme a fucking break! Anybody who believes that needs to talk to me about some lovely beach-front property I’ve got in Montana for sale.

  2. back to cycling

    I mean at least rebecca twigg admits she shot yoohoo and downed twinkies to recover.

  3. Hey, it’s all the same story…

    “Gee, coach. You tell me that this B-12 injection is going to ‘fix’ everything??”

    WTF???? Are we REALLY supposed to believe that all the world’s athletes (young or old) are ALL that stupid?? C’mon, even the average high school kid can figure shit out sometimes…

    If bourbon can’t fix it, “vitamin B-12″ can’t either

  4. I am a firm believer in beer and schnitzel as recovery foods.

    But then, that may be why I roll in at 215-ish.

    Amen, brother. From the Gospel according to Widmer:

    Pork Schnitzel

    Two tender pieces of pork loin dusted with bread crumbs then grilled golden brown and topped with lemon wine sauce. It’s hard to beat a good schnitzel.

  5. Yet another one I wanted to “believe in”, but when her husband went down a couple years ago, I was pretty damn sure she was guilty as hell.

  6. Ever read the Balco book, whatever its called? Pretty revealing. This info was public years ago, but for whatever reason took this long to catch up with her.

    The ball is just starting to roll. Drugs are more pervasive, and have been impacting sport longer, than most believe.

  7. hmmmm ….. B-12 injections … let’s revisit a certain sports training professional who has an interesting history of delivering injections ….

  8. Do I detect a pattern here? Pro athlete dopes to the gills, makes gazillions of dollars, denies any and all allegations of said doping while cometing then waits a few years and cops to it with a tearful mea culpa. Public outcry is minimal since they are no longer competing but do they lose any of their ill-gotten gains? NO! Let’s face it, do they really give a shit what we think at this point? Doubtful, since they’ve made their millions and don’t need our respect or our money. Glad to hear there is some talk of jail time for this case. Hopefully, those appearance fee and sponsorship contracts will start including clauses that say “you cheat, you pay us back” regardless of when the loser in questions cops to their unknowing use of something they thought was “vitamins.” Gimme some schnitzel and an Alpha King, please.

  9. And do not let them make you believe she just simply had a change of heart. She’s only made this admission because she is about to plead guilty to balco-related charges. She simply got caught.

  10. I said the same thing earlier… Make that bitch (and all those bitches, in fact) pay back ALL the money they got from sponsorship deals, promos, contracts, etc…

    that includes Landis, Basso, Armstrong (when he eventually gets caught/cops a plea…) All those fuckers.

    McGuire? Out of the Hall of Fame, out of the record books. Same with Bonds.

    No way guys like Snake bust their balls and get minimal recognition, while these cheaters, liars… these bags of walking pharmaceuticals get off with a slap on the wrist and a weak-assed ‘I’m sorry…>sniff

  11. …hey, hey now, this is ‘america’ were talking about… you are innocent BEYOND proven guilty…we’ll put a little black *asterick* next to yer name but, once a celebrity, always a celebrity…keep the bucks, you were good entertainment…

  12. tell me that was a dude with long hair not a chick. If it is a chick I think I am going to throw up.

  13. Actually the ones I feel sorry for are her relay team-mates who are about to lose their medals. Two of her (five) medals were in relays.

  14. I remember a junior rider that bought one of Twigg’s skinsuits and then tried to sell chamois sniffs. True story.

  15. It’s official: Steroids will now officially be known as “Flaxseed Oil” to follow Marion Jones’ example.

  16. “I said the same thing earlier… Make that bitch (and all those bitches, in fact) pay back ALL the money they got from sponsorship deals, promos, contracts, etc…”

    I’m eager to see a civil lawsuit come from one of the people that came in second place at the hands of a doper. You know, for monetary damages. I’m serious.

  17. …flax seed makes ya poop like a prince… or a princess, as the case may be…just sayin’, case ya need to know…

    …civil lawsuits would be interesting & complicated…not just against doping athletes, but promoters & sponsors as well…
    …obviously dopers are cheating all parties & everyone loses but the dopers…
    …time ta shake up sports from the bottom up & top down…

  18. quinowa (??? hunh,,, whas tha, hunh, Iza guise that duzzun no) is foukin’ high up on protien so don’t watch while the beef spoils, check yer ezes skrewup…

  19. Quote from Wikipedia: “Twigg was a three-time Olympian (1984, 1992, and 1996). However, her final Olympic appearance, in Atlanta in 1996, ended in controversy when she quit the team in a disagreement with the coach Chris Carmichael and the U.S. Cycling Federation. The national federation had invested in the development of the so-called “SuperBike”. Twigg, after using the bike in an earlier portion of the Games, refused to ride it, citing poor individual fit and claiming that pressure from the staff on her to use the SuperBike and ……..”

    Oh yes. Chris Carmichael, ever the marketing whore from hell.

  20. Good, here’s is a big portion of respect, props, laynyap and good luck to those atheletes who actually give a twist about what their bodys work with. A bike matters, so does form and so does that which you carry. Good for twigg, I am too age challenged to know, but, really, glad that she actually defended her right to put herself on a pedastool instead of some twisted gimmick. I don’t know what suspension is, i think they use it on dirtbikes but I wouldn’t ask her to suffer through 98. Quitting, is sabatogue, don’t tell them when the two weeks is up, ride more and forget about your dreams, the waking one is pressing.

  21. Actually Twigg left the team over Carmichal refusing to let her personal coach Eddie B into the pits. The bike was an issue, but she relented and agreed to ride it until Carmichal made a scene about Eddie B being in the pits, and made him leave, so she left.

    Carmichal is a kook who was an even crappier bike racer.

  22. Great, see, I’m a youngster and wouldn’t know but am glad to know now. And I support her decision. F–* those busted monks who can’t tell the difference between exertion and exercise. If she wanted some wrench or coach at her side then damn it let that shit be man, don’t get in the way. And that’s my point, don’t boss athletes around, they are like artists, they will not do what you say when you say it, they are skilled, intense and will proove themselves in their own manner and with their own tools. Let them do it.

  23. Having one coach (to the exclusion of others) is so 70′s. Carmichael making Eddie B leave his protegé was just an ego thing for him. “Now, *I* am the master!”

    It was a weird time, as people were just starting to have personal coaches as standard equipment in cycling.

    And the superbike SUCKED ass. Carmichael was under pressure from GT and USAC to use the fucking thing, as they spent a shitload building it. Problem was, they didn’t finish it until a week before the games (and Twigg had a bike sponsor already).

  24. It comes down to cheating.
    Doping is cheating. Cheating on your significant other is cheating. Scoring the answers to next weeks exam is cheating. Fudging your taxes is cheating. We all do it in some way. A priority in modern American culture has become to do what you have to do to get the $$$. Like $$$ is the answer to everything.
    I’m an American, and I love my country. But things are really, REALLY fucked up, in case anyone hasn’t noticed yet.
    Unfortunately, until integrity becomes a priority, I don’t think anything is going to change real soon. In athletics, or anywhere else.
    OK, …bit preachy, but tell me I’m wrong.

  25. Hey Al, we americans don’t exactly have a stranglehold on cheating in athletics, or anything else for that matter. It’s been going on since mammals could think beyond the present moment.

    Johnny, just checked out your pink Moser in it’s fixed life in the gallery–also read that it now rolls w/DA 10. I’d die for that frame–Good thing I’m all of 5’5″ or I’d be looking for you and then a knife…………….

    John

  26. Carmichael enabled a whole new generation of dopers. Everyone should note that back a few years when Greg Strock decided to sue everyone, Carmichael quietly settled with him (out of court) as his private coaching biz was just starting to take-off with the help of Armstrong publicity. Probably the most intelligent spending of tens of thousands of dollars he ever did. Look at him now. Half of the masters riders in American are secretly using one of his programs. And they’ll never tell.

  27. Al, FUCK YOU…I don’t cheat, I never have, I’ve worked hard all my life.

    I’ve lost to cheaters…more than you can imagine. Line all of them up and kick the fucking shit out of them.

  28. Wow.
    Not Al, dude, chill and don’t take it so personally. I work hard too. I was just trying to make a point.
    That is: That our thirst for capital has become more of a problem than a solution. It’s not a secret. And until something major changes, like our DNA, cheating by doping or other means isn’t going to stop.

  29. I don’t think Al is making excuses for the cheaters. Cheaters suck. BUT, until integrity becomes a priority for the business that is sport, nothing will change. Money is the priority. Winning is what gets money. People will cheat to win. This is why I have a problem with the UCI, WADA, ASO, etc. putting all of the blame on the riders. While I think that the riders are ultimately responsible for what goes in their bodies, the coaches, teams, promoters, national organizations are significantly culpable for putting the pressure on the riders to win at all costs. Additionally, the UCI and WADA are incompetent. So that leaves us with a fucked up system. I wish I had a solution, but I don’t…

  30. I hope the next injection she gives herself is a hot lead one. Preferably oral, or just under the chin. How many kids looked up to this lying fucking whore? Aside from the big steaming loaf she just took on the reputation of US Olympic athletes, this pig gets to say “Oops. My bad.” conveniently when she’s retiring?

    What a fuckpig.

  31. The idea that the greatest good is money is also an error of thought.

    The greatest good is happiness, personal internal satisfaction. You can’t achieve that by cheating what you love, wife, bicycle ect.

    I have no problem with the tax issue. I’m happy to keep my money from our failed leadership. A government that suck as much as that of our’s at so many things, even Thoueau promoted that civil disobedience.

  32. “While I think that the riders are ultimately responsible for what goes in their bodies, the coaches, teams, promoters, national organizations are significantly culpable for putting the pressure on the riders to win at all costs.”

    Rather than force the riders to sign an agreement that makes them fork-over a year’s salary for testing positive, how about forcing the TEAMS to sign an agreement along the same lines? If Weisel and Bruyneel had been personally on-the-hook for millions, I’ll bet that we would not have had a 7-time tour champion.

    It’s easy for the teams to pass the responsibility to the rider. It’s easy to dominate one person. But companies change their behavior when the consequences affect their bottom lines.

  33. …it seems that within our present world of “sport achievement”, that personal integrity takes a backseat to the bottom line…the love for the game, pales in comparison to what can be monetarily gained…whether by the athlete, team, league or gambling institute…

    …one person’s moral dilemma, as to what constitutes going over the line, is not even a consideration for the next person…indignation regarding integrity is reserved for those accused, not those concerned…

    …the incompetency by the ‘governing bodies’ is a huge part of the moral & financial dichotomy…
    …as was pointed out in an earlier post, i believe by el jefe, certain institutions sole ‘raison’ d’etre’ becomes their continued existence, after a time, rather than their original purpose…

    …marion jones, i’m sure, made her disclosure on the advice of her attorney…any personal feelings of remorse have to do w/ being caught cheating, not the act of cheating itself…she will lose her records & medals, no doubt a personal travesty but even if she gets short term jail time, she undoubtedly has serious buck$ put away…we will see marion jones eventually making the rounds as a ‘true moral compass’ teaching our youth the right & wrong of cheating & lying in the world of sport…i’d, ah, bet on it…

  34. She has a publicist and an agent. So it’s worth betting on.

    Those two types do not vanish from a celebrity’s life until there is no reason to be there anymore. The agent will book speaking engagements and the publicist will figure out how to spin it.

    Lance also has a publicist and an agent.

  35. …hell, we’ve still got fuckin’ OJ…once a celebrity, always a celebrity, no matter the deed, good or bad…

  36. Yes, except Marion Jones brings nothing to the table other than her 5 medals. And they are all gone now. Her career was a farce.

    OJ still has what he did on the field (unblemished).

  37. …yer right about that…a carefully constructed farce…like all ‘good’ dopers, she did work her ass off, but she just wanted to be the star & thought she had a way to “pay” for it…now, hopefully, she’ll learn to realize the actual price…

    …ya, good ol’ O J…he’s always moved w/ speed, cunning & strength, whether ripping up the gridiron, racing through an airport, ‘cutting hard & fast’ through a alley, or deftly charging into a hotel room…

    …man’s always got the moves…

    …unfortunately, celebrity == role model, for too many kids these days…

  38. OJ: Not a role model of mine, and I’m no kid. I’m just saying that the difference is that there are certain things you just can’t take away from OJ (killer or no killer). He’d earned his fame.

    Marion Jones actually sued Victor Conti for libel. Now it turns out he was correct. She should reimburse his legal fees and be forced to return her appearance fees and prize money too. Those who came in second to her should be allowed to get reimbursed for prizes.

    And what about her relay teammates for the Gold? Now their accomplishments are tainted too. That sucks. She dragged them all down with her.

  39. bigjim, I’m sure she’ll be happy to know that at least you’re still willing….you whore