First up, we have this video from youtube.com showing the desperate life of an Eagles fan. The accent, the clothes, the self loathing. It all goes together.
Eagles fans everywhere have apparently given McNabb all of three weeks to come up with the goods.
Frustrated with the Eagles’ last-second 16-13 loss to the Green Bay Packers last Sunday, and with quarterback Donovan McNabb’s failure to single-handedly score three touchdowns, prevent two of his teammates from muffing punts, or block any of Green Bay’s field goals, thousands of Philadelphia fans demanded that McNabb win an NFL championship for Philadelphia sometime within the next three weeks.
My man McNabb ain’t trying to hear that. I guess no one told him the Onion ain’t exacly CNN.
McNabb said: “There’s not that many African-American quarterbacks, so we have to do a little bit extra. … Because the percentage of us playing this position, which people didn’t want us to play this position, is low, so we do a little extra.”
And McNabb said: “I pass for 300 yards, our team wins by seven (and critics say), ‘Ah, he could’ve made this throw, they would have scored if he did this.’ ”
You want to know who had a right to be bitter?
That’s who. Me.
I might as well just save a whole shitload of time, money and energy by beating myself in the forehead with a fucking brick come Sunday mornings instead of actually witnessing the god awful hell which is the Philadelphia Eagles. Throwing myself down a flight of stairs might also do the trick.
Donovan, buddy, listen to me a minute. Win a fucking Championship and stop fucking crying. My crying is fine, even entertaining. Your crying is intolerable. I don’t care if you’re black, white, or blue. But not Giants blue. That’d just be fucked up. Your skin color makes absolutely no difference to us fans. The only thing we care about is winning football games. And that is the only thing you should care about as well. Win football games.
Bring Philadelphia a Championship.
And then, after that, I can die a happy man.by