Recent events in hell

From: the mostly reverend grandpa kim
Subject: recent events in hell
I’ve attached a couple photos from the Hy-Vee triathlon. The first one of the devil running along was during the morning’s amateur competition–about 1600 folks competed in this event. We were positioned along the grand avenue hill, which climbs from 63d street to 56th, and then continues another four blocks as a false flat. The hill is about a 7 or 8% grade, and comes 32 km into a 40 km bike leg.

C’mere to me…

We had beer and little debbie snack cakes, and a group of maybe 150 or more hecklers and supporters. We had a nice little bucket brigade going for some folks who wouldn’t have made it without our assistance. Someone pointed out that I didn’t miss a single hot female, although I’m certain there were one or two who didn’t get my little push on the tush.

Hello

And Goodbye

I did succeed in getting a few wheelies, but my personal highlight was predicting–from my vantage maybe 3/4 of the way to the top–that a particular woman would fall over. I had just uttered “check this out–I think this woman is going to fall over” and she did.

Moral: don’t mess with the devil. I trotted down the hill, and helped her back up. She was messed up.

Second photo is of the devil during the run portion of the professional men’s event. I did my best to create the proper hellish environment: highs in the mid-90s, humidity even higher.

Hot enough for ya?

Bonus photos: the devil in the rain at the snake alley criterium, showing his support for Floyd [yellow tie, Mennonite hat], and action photos on the grand avenue hill.

Devil at the Snake Alley Crit

Keep doing my good work, jonny.

–the mostly reverend grandpa kim
the orphanage, capitol city, iowa

Sir, yes sir.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

4 thoughts on “Recent events in hell

  1. …sorry, but real devil is smelly german man to be found at t d f every july…

    …accept no substitutes…

  2. if you don’t want to learn what a patchouli-scented norwegian devil can do to YOU, then you’ll take that back, and say “i’m sorry.”
    i make old ladies fall over. . .
    you? a mere trifle, a nuisance. i’m a professional, after all.

  3. …I STAND MY GROUND, BITCH…

    …THE ONLY HORNS I’LL APOLOGIZE FOR OR ABOUT ARE MY OWN…

    …KNOW WHY YOU CARRY THAT BIG FORK ??…….CUZ YER DONE !!…