Fuck all

I rode out Lake Mary by myself today. Two hours of spinning away like the lycra clad douche I am. I got scared shitless on they way out when some asshat pulling a trailer behind his white Dodge pickup came within two feet of me at a rather substantial rate of speed. And, of course, I was riding on the shoulder. I guess he figured he could drive over on the far side of the while line if he wanted to.

And then on the way back, asshat number two in a while Chevy pickup buzzed me. He even gave me the finger as he drove away, just to show me who’s man.

I gave him two fingers and displayed my wicked no hands pedaling style. Yes, I am 100% rad.

I think I’ll lead off with this little gem:

A Republican senator pleaded guilty earlier this month to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge stemming from his arrest at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, according to state criminal records.

Roll Call newspaper reported Monday that Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho was apprehended June 11 by a plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of lewd behavior in an airport men’s room.

Source: cnn.com

Oh yes; yet another Republican caught trolling for a piece of ass. “Let me be clear, I am not gay, I never have been gay”. (source: news.com.au) Uh huh. You’re not gay. He sucked your dick, right?

Come the fuck on. This guys life accomplishments reads like a GOP hit list. Which, incidentally, it is. Good on ya, pally.

Here are a few highlights from Craig’s voting record. Remember, this is from a man who solicits sex from other men in bathroom stalls.

  • Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination by sexual orientation. (Sep 1996)
  • Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage. (Sep 1996)
  • Voted NO on expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation. (Jun 2000)
  • Voted NO on adding sexual orientation to definition of hate crimes. (Jun 2002)
  • Rated 100% by the Christian Coalition: a pro-family voting record. (Dec 2003)
  • Voted YES on constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. (Jun 2006)

You just know he’s going to claim a problem with alcohol and head off for a few weeks in some resort rehab center. Time with the family, you know, time to step down from politics.

Wait, what the fuck does this mean: dailykos.com?

“The senator now recognizes that he has a problem,” stated a Craig staffer, “and for the sake of his wife and his family he has elected to enter a treatment program for his affliction.”

Not the first time I made a joke, googled it, and found out life is stranger than fiction.

And, yes, he actually brought his family into it. Jeez. Have you no fucking shame?

What is it with these self hating homosexuals leading the charge against the rights of homosexuals in this country? Do other groups (I hate to use the word “minority”) such as Blacks, Jews and Women deal with the same problem?

Now that I think about it, they probably do. Christ. No one has a lock on ignorance.

Oh fuck it.

Link dump:

[Cool] modestmouse.com
[Super cool] tucsonbikelawyer.com
[Clusterfuck nation] jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com
[Fuck that] washingtonpost.com
[Blogness] demarcatedlandscapes.com
[My Favorite DJ Premier Beats (Part I)] youtube.com
[My Favorite DJ Premier Beats (Part II)] youtube.com
[You gotta be shitting me...] jpk.infiniteregress.org

How big can one post get? Pretty damn big from the looks of it. I haven’t even gotten to the damn emails yet.

From: Ryan
Subject: Trek
Who is going to ride Treks next year?

Good question. I’m sure they’re scrambling to stay on top of their game. Could the Big Red S knock ‘em out of the box with Boom Boom Boonen in what I expect to be an absolute Barn Burner of a Spring Campaign in ’08?

Could happen.

From: Gary
Subject: Bikers By the Dozen Down
This was purely an accident, although, allowing cars to park in the bike lane around the park forcing the cyclist and the road and limiting the visibility of those cars trying to pull into the roadway could have been avoided.
wsvn.com

Same story, totally different spin with ugly commentary as well. In short, everything you’ve hoped and dreamed for.

From: Jabba
Subject: FLA Driver MESS
Check out the usual comments from pissed-off driver efftards.
miamiherald.com

Shit like that just makes me glad to be alive.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

13 thoughts on “Fuck all

  1. Why is it always white pickup trucks? On a tour with my buddy, whenever I heard him yell “Fuck You!” from the road behind me, I could always count down: “3, 2, 1, white pickup.” What is the mental disorder that causes both chronic assholism and white pickup truck purchasing?

  2. What is the mental disorder that causes both chronic assholism and white pickup truck purchasing?

    I believe that the clinical term is: Small Dick Syndrome.

  3. I had some asshat cut me off and nearly force me into traffic this morning. I smacked his truck to let him know I didn’t like that very much. He pulled up next to me (blocking more traffic) to yell and say, “I saw you”. Me, “And you still decided to cut me off with 2 tons of steel? You’re a fukkin Moron!”
    There may have been more profanity involved on my part.

  4. Hey, hey, easy there…I have a white pickup and decidedly do NOT cut off cyclists. Maybe it’s a Colorado thing, but I have been cut off by more Cadillac Escalades than anything else.

    Now on a different note;
    Senator Craig, this is Ted Haggard, Ted Haggard, Senator Craig…Let the cocksucking begin!

  5. Whew. My pickup is red and I pull waaaay to the center for fellow riders…it’s an F350 diesel so oncoming traffic gets REAL scared.

    All politicians should have to register as some kind of offenders.

  6. That fucken Miami Herald story comment section is the EXACT reason why I left that shithole. Nothin but the New York City of the South

  7. I like how Foley is going to be his “sponsor”. What’s a little 69 among compassionately conservative Repugnicans…

  8. What the hell is wrong with people? When I was in Italy I never got railroaded by a Fiat panda. Wilmington, NC is a perfect example of bike haters. I swear they aim for us. If it’s not getting buzzed by cars, it’s having “hippy” or some profane word yelled at us! I’ve gotta go, time to get some strange in the public shitter.

  9. Dictionary alert.

    It’s not asshats it’s shithooks.

    I know several owners of black F250′s. You have to sign an affidavit stating that you are compensating to get the really big ones.

  10. …repub-sen craig’s congressional voting record is a classic case of low self esteem / guilt / overcompensation…

    …smarmy hypocritical bitch just oozes lies & subterfuge @ his press confrontations…

    …looking for anonymous gay sex in a public bathroom, my, my, doesn’t that just smack of wholesome republican family values ??…

  11. …and, ya jonny, stay frickin’ safe out there, dude…

    …gotta get ya one of those fake sumo wrestling costumes with all the padding & that’ll be yer new road riding outfit…anything happens & you’ll just be bouncing offa’ trucks ‘n’ guardrails ‘n’ shit…