The Philadelphia Eagles

I’ve been avoided reading, thinking or writing about the Philadelphia Eagles and the upcoming football season. Mostly because I don’t want to face that faded photograph of Bill Penn in my back yard.

See previous Billy Penn Project posts, such as this one, for an explanation.

It can all wait till September- the crying in my beer, being pissed off through Tuesday every week, the self loathing, the Curse of Billy Penn. I don’t need to start worrying about that shit now, I’ve got all fall to stuff my head in a gas oven. Billy and I will share some quality time in another month and half. That Fat Quaker Bastard.

This morning I caught something in the Sunday paper: “As usual, everything hinges on quarterback Donovan McNabb’s health. If he stays on the field, the Eagles could be a Super Bowl contender. If he is hurt again, they begin to prepare for the Kevin Kolb era.”

Tell me something I don’t know already. I don’t think McNabb has lasted an entire season in any one of the last four years. Maybe it’s only three; I’m too lazy to check. Either way, it’s more than one. And one is one to many.

Oh boy. I’m excited already. Nice to know ya, Mr. Kolb. I hope you can throw as something besides a receivers shoe laces.

The Eagles took Houston QB Kevin Kolb with their second-round pick in the 2007 draft. Kolb was a four-year starter for the Cougars and was considered to be the third-best quarterback in the draft by many. Kolb is a gunslinger who threw plenty of interceptions in school but also put up lots of passing yards and touchdowns. He is also a mobile quarterback who can move well in the pocket and take off with 4.7 speed when a play breaks down.

So far, so good. He’s all about quantity over quality. Just like Brett Fav-reh was in the early years – a diamond in the rough. Air it out, put it down there, stand back and watch the magic happen. I’m sure the quality of talent in the average NFL secondary won’t make him pay for those interceptions any time soon.

Yeah, I’m making that part up. He’s going to get torn apart for his first season or two. Let’s hope that’s a few years out still. Can I ask that much?

This was a curious pick by the Eagles, who not only have Donovan McNabb on the roster but also backups A.J. Feeley (who they re-signed) and Kelly Holcomb (who they traded for). Unless they carry four quarterbacks, the Eagles will have to cut one of these guys, and chances are it won’t be McNabb or Kolb. As for the rookie, don’t expect to see him on the field at all this season, making him useless in seasonal Fantasy play. But, keeper owners should consider him as a potential Matt Schaub: A backup passer who has the stuff to start in the league eventually. That’s why keeper-league owners should look his way with a late-round pick so long as they can keep him on staff for years without much penalty.


What’s up with A.J. “Touchy” Feeley? We can’t rest the franchise on his shoulders? Did they put him on the cover of Sports Illustrated and somehow I missed it? Did he get popped running a dog and pony show on some farm upstate with his brother and now he’s looking at multiple felonies? Did he get hit by lightening?

I hate you Billy Penn.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

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