I’m fat, Ullrich’s fucked

Today I rode my single speed for three hours. I still weight 210 pounds. I ate all the turkey yesterday. I am not happy.

And so it goes.

Jan Ullrich’s attorneys are trying to prevent Swiss investigators from turning over documents from the Bank Credit Suisse to German investigators, the German news magazine FOCUS has reported. The bank account statements were taken during a search of Ullrich’s house last September and from the bank.

The documents are currently being held by the district attorney in the Swiss canton of Thurgau. The German district attorney’s office in Bonn hopes to use the documents in its fraud investigation of Ullrich, by showing how much the German cyclist paid to Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes.

Source: cyclingnews.com (way down at the bottom)

Any bets on this one? I’ll go with six digits at least. I’ll call it right now – Jan Ullrich paid Dr. Fuentes $120,000 USD for doping products, consultation and treatments.

Anyone else got a number?

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

9 thoughts on “I’m fat, Ullrich’s fucked

  1. I’m sure it was serious cash. I’ll go $150k and some schnitzel.

    Amnesty is the answer.

    Still…

    I wonder if Nike picked up the tab for LA…or maybe it was gratis from Bristol-Myers-Squibb.

  2. $200k minimum. He wouldn’t be trying to cover it up this badly if he didn’t feel like he way overpaid.

  3. A buck twenty seems a bit low-don’t forget that he had to do a decent amount of doping just to counteract the Ecstasy-fueled strudel binges. I’ll go with $166,666.66

  4. $250,000 to the good doc. Nike and Thomas Wiesel Partners took care of Armstrong.

  5. I agree with fish-e on that one. That stuff can’t come cheap. Just getting a physical can be pricey, for someone to fine tune that german kid from Willy Wonka into a top-of-the-pile world cyclist? No more brats for you.

    I think Lance’s “cancer treatment” involved some Steve Austin medical craziness. With that testical they removed they put in a time release testosterone gizmo controlled by the team car. He didn’t dope in the conventional sense, he went waaaay ahead of the curve.

  6. Remember the tab for LA’s cancer treatments being picked up by both Nike when you go out to buy those sneaks next time, and Oakley when you’ve got a hankerin’ for a pair of $180 sunglasses.

    I wonder what Ulle’s co-pay was? I mean, he’s insured right? What would United Healthcare negotiate the cost of Dr. Fuentes down too?