The waiting is the hardest part.

I hate this dead time of year right before the Tour starts. It’s always the same; the breathless anticipation of who’s on form, who’s the favorite, who’s a long shot, and who’s been implicated in a drug scandal.

My pic to win three or four stages this year at a gallop, Alessandro Petacchi, was just suspended by his team.

Seriously.

Alessandro Petacchi has been suspended by his team, Milram, after the results of his post-Giro stage controls from May 23 were revealed ‘non-negative’ for Salbutamol. The ProTour team adheres to the Code of Ethics that requires stopping an athlete from competing while there is an ongoing investigation…. Petacchi, a four-time Tour de France stage winner, risks missing out on this year’s Tour depending on the timing of the CONI hearing.

Source: cyclingnews.com

And that ain’t all of it, Kessler is also in trouble. Sure, he wasn’t in the hunt for the top five or anything (at least not on my opinion) but he would have undoubtedly helped whomever from Astana is actually allowed to start and makes it through three weeks, by the grace of God, without failing a drug test.

Astana’s Matthias Kessler has returned an adverse analytical finding for testosterone, according to a team press release issued today. The sample was taken in a surprise doping control on April 24 in Charleroi, Belgium prior to La Flèche Wallonne. Kessler finished fourth in the race.

Source: cyclingnews.com

I can’t even bet money on this shit race. Last year they jerked Ullrich on the day prior. And I had him for the win. Who the fuck am I supposed to know who will even be there at the start? Can I still get any action after the prologue? Will the list of participants be finalized then? Levi Leipheimer seems safe enough, but nothing would surprise me with Disco. Belgian Bunny Juice, anyone? They don’t test for that, right?

This is killing me. I should just bet on who will get caught up in some phone taps or whose wife will get caught at the border behind the wheel of a rolling pharmacy.

And don’t even get me started on what passes for television coverage in this country. Two of the greatest color commentators in the business (of any sport, mind you) Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwin are now at the helm of the USS Versus, a former garbage scow that just can’t shake the smell.

It’s the only game in town, so I’m sure to watch. But that doesn’t mean won’t complain about it at the same time. And what the fuck happened to the Giro? That race isn’t exciting enough for the American audience anymore? Can’t take any time away notable programs such as Hunt’n wid Hank and homoerotic bull riding?

From: Chris
Subject: Versus Tour 2007
Who gives a fuck?

Besides Versus will fuck it up anyway. Their Cyclism Sunday whatever they call it is unwatchable

I timed it along with the America’s Cup coverage and PBR. (no not with a PBR) There is more commercial time and dumb-ass presenter/announcer talk than action like 3 to 1. both shows

I mean are they stupid. I get making a buck but this is just gay

And fucking Phil talks more about other upcoming shows like bull riding and fishing than he does the race. If I hear him say “tune in next…blah” again

In addition they have adopted the NBC Olympic up close and personal docudrama mentality. Rider at home sit down interviews are great but do it pre race like a week before and let us watch bikes go up hill like grown men can

I read in velonews that Oscar Pereiro is depressed over the Landis affair. WTF you found a wheel and rode great in the mountains like once to keep it close. It was all heart but a half hour gap that was a gift in the first place is no reason to think you are the shit because you haven’t done shit since nor will you do shit again and it won’t be because you are depressed. You are depressed because you know the peloton gave you a moment of fame and you are a one hit wonder and that the boys will never let you gap again. Sure Landis is a cocksucker, I’ll give you that but stop with the “I never got a chance to celebrate”……… yup! nor
will you bro. Suck wheel like a good boy this tour and you might not have to carry the water bottles.

Vino, now or never? Yo Vino you better hit this like I’d hit Basso’s sister.

Maybe a reason to watch is to look for the rider who is skinnier than Basso’s sister

Jonny I am trying hard to find some reason to watch this Tour. Bob, Paul and Phil are not enough. I have narrowed it down to one sentimental cause which leads us to 2 American Riders with similar qualities. Yo Versus, give us a docudrama on the follicly challenged boys in the peloton. Don’t fuck with the Baldies. And it is a good thing they don’t test for Propecia…….. If Michael Rasmussen shaves his head all tour again
I’ll cheer for him as well

Well at least the media isn’t hyping George again. Perhaps they know cycling now

I can only root for the former Mountain Biker and BMX champs turned roadie. Go Cadel Evans and Robbie McEwen. Do a docudrama on those stories and I’ll watch
out

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

8 thoughts on “The waiting is the hardest part.

  1. Whenever I see the name Matthias Kessler, I just remeber him going endo over the guard rail on that descent, bike flying. I think a frenchie broke his arm. And the camera catching him a few minutes later with his jersey all torn up and rocks jammed in his helmet. A tough bastard, if not a GC threat.

  2. Ah,the quiet before the storm. i love this week too, because you know you are going to spend the next three weeks drinking coffee watching the tour in the morning and coming to work late. so rad. when it’s over, it’s just like that first monday night after monday night football is over. Tour DT’s.
    But…
    Pettachi is getting screwed.
    Salbutomol is like busting someone for getting high on Robotussin. All it does is relax your lungs smooth muscle fibers so you can breath. It doesn’t give you bigger lungs and hell, most aerobic athletes have asthma anyway by some defintion of the word or another. you can accomplish the same effect by putting 4 black tea bags in a mug of boiling water. black tea has a naturally occuring drug called theopholin (Sp?) which does the same thing. it’s a stimulant but so is coffee.
    So now think about the pact these guys have to sign just to race. Petacchi would theoretically have to take a two year suspension and sacrafice a year’s salary if sentenced. All for taking something he has documentation to take. If i didn’t have my asthma meds i would be unable to compete half the time.
    I am all for cleaning up the sport but these guys (the riders) need to get their shit together. i knew roadies were a bunch of balless pussies, but they seriously need a strong rider’s union. can you imagine the NFL or NBA player’s union being pushed around like this? so whether or not Floyd fooled you, you should have at least taken away from the experience that this system is pretty much broken and prone to errors. the UCI and WADA have taken zero steps to reform their drug testing, lab accreditations, protocols etc. yet the riders are being more or less trapped by the court of public opinion and black mailed by the race organizers into sign their careers away.
    there should be a code of conduct and penalties which make cheating a seriously bad idea. but when your future is being held in the hands of a french lab which cannot even get its testing straight, you have to wonder if anyone is thinking clearly.
    My prediction? Major scandal will break out again just before the start of the tour. another tour blackened by drug scandal will spell doom for the momentum of the sport which is already wavering.

  3. Chris – you said it well. Let’s hear it for the former dirt farmers in the tour! Versus can do a great job with their cycling coverage….they just choose to turn it into shit. Hopefully Roll will get tired of the drivel and leave Phil and Paul to goof on each other until they both suffer ass collapses….who the hell am i kidding, i’m still gonna watch….can’t help it. with such pathetic cycling coverage, it really is a case of something is better than nothing. Too bad littermag.com is strictly gravity mtb stuff. Shawn Spomer is setting the new standard in cycling coverage. time to ride home. Rigid 29er SS forever!

  4. I wish Cycling.TV would get some damn Tour coverage. Cycling.Tv’s coverage of other races is great! Downside, their commentators are no Phil and Paul…

  5. dude the cycling.tv commentators are like hypnotists…i watched their cross world’s coverage and was nearly asleep with one of themost exciting races for the win i have seen in years with my homie J Page. Someone send them some uppers.

  6. After enduring the last painful Armstrong win in 2005 we all wanted new champions. I guess we still do…

    bring it. We will watch.