Cut’n ‘n Paste’n.

Hit “Get Mail” and I got one hundred and eighty five fresh ones coming straight at me.

I need a hug.

I knocked back a few with my man Garro tonight. Now I can’t feel my hands.

And they told me this would happen…

Did I listen? No. Of course not.

If you didn’t know already: The world just ended.

Link dump:

[toto] nyvelocity.com
[change my pitch up] tucson.craigslist.orgl
[smack my bitch up] crooksandliars.com
[he's unstoppable] theonion.com
[the plea] centredaily.com
[and the raw deal] centredaily.com
[cool} speedgoat.com

Monica Goodling testified today with the promise of immunity. Pretty good deal for someone who committed felonies. Read about it

Today's emails are actually several days old. After Bike to Work Week, going to Prescott last Saturday and now being home sick, I'm a bit backed up with this shit. Go figure.:

From: Dan
Subject: Re: [Fwd: 100 mile world record - your information is flawed]
The 3:22 is paced and on a track. Do the math on that one – it’s 29.7 mph. Rod Evans holds the unpaced track record at 3:47. I have seen the England info, and they certainly have a passion for the TT stuff – of all distance and variations. I’d love to go over there for a couple months and do some of their events. In 1995, I covered 135 miles at an average of 34.6 mph – with a tailwind in NM. And last month I road the AZ Ironman course as a training ride and averaged 25.0 for 112 miles – should we count those too?
The issue is that the road course has to be less than 20 miles and approved by the UMCA. Check the rules at www.ultracycling.com, under the “Records” section. The course here in AZ is a 11.887 mile loop with sixteen 180-degree turns and 230 feet of elevation gain per lap. I don’t know why the dude that had it surveyed and approved in 1991 picked this course, but that’s where the record was set and has been held since 1991. Huggy-bear says the word on the street is a dude in Slovenia went 4:01 about a week ago on a totally flat 17.5 mile loop with only three 90-degree turns that was surveyed but needs to be certified. Until that happens, if it is true, I still hold the UMCA record. Whether it is true or not, I will do everything in my power to break the 4 hour mark on the certified road course in IL in July – a course that is also pancake flat, with no 180-degree turns, and is an 18.4 mile loop.

Let the saga continue.

I can’t wait till July. It’d be worth the price of a plane ticket just to sit in a lawn chair drinking beer with Marty while you suffer.

From: Lovedawg
Subject: world record
Dan McGehee’s record is through UMCA The UMCA only sanctions a few surveyed courses in the U.S. for this kinda thing. Not sure what the rules are on the other records, for example the U.K. one, but I can assure you that the Sun Valley Parkway course is a relatively slow course with some uphill and a high rolling resistance pea gravel surface.

You just gotta love a slow going pea gravel surface. It’s like riding into a headwind, uphill in sand all day: It’s still riding, but it still sucks.

From: Snakebite
Subject: porn?
Dude,
What’s up with “The end of porn as we know it….”??? Inquiring minds want to know.

Pretty soon, all the porn around here is going to be in one place. I’m just bored with it all. It’s time to flip the script.

Today’s joke:

From: Erich
Subject: tweakers
Q: How many tweakers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One and an eighth.

Oh. Stop. My. Sides. Hurt.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

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